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Internal debate...

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by V1N, May 15, 2017.

  1. V1N

    V1N Member

    I'm sorry if I have posted on the wrong forum, but I'm dealing with issues. I have been drinking heavily for about a year now. I don't know how to deal with it. I'm not trying to persuade anyone that what I'm dealing with is a theatrical play, but I often play devil's advocate with my own mind. To get to the point I drink, a lot. I didn't used to, but I do. I basically drink to escape and I don't know why. I got into it because my husband told me to relax, one drink turned into two, then three, then up to a litter of whiskey a night by myself. I don't see any problem with it when I'm sober because I come home from work and convince myself that I'll only have a few. When I get buzzed I convince myself a few more won't hurt, all the way to the point where I get sick every other night it seems. I basically deal with three dilemmas: I don't have a problem and I can deal with this on my own, dear god I need to stop this, and I want help but I don't want anyone to judge me. When I get drunk i desperately want to seek medical help, but I'm afraid ill get put on medications or sent to get help elsewhere (Not that it's a bad thing i just don't want my family knowing and I really hate the thought that they'd think I've ended up like my father (who was an alcoholic but had passed). Idk. Do i seek help and possibly get it fixed or deal with it on my own and hope for the best? I'm 23, female. I'm not sure what else to say. I need some advice from someone as an outside source...
  2. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @V1N... Welcome to the community, my friend. I'm glad you found us and shared your situation with us.

    At 23 years old, you have so much of your life still ahead of you. I think you should seek out some professional help and try to overcome your dependence on alcohol. As far as your family knowing... Is that really such a bad thing? Having the support of family and loved ones can make getting sober much easier. And having an addiction to alcohol doesn't make you a bad person; it just means that you struggle with the disease of addiction, just like millions and millions of other people do. Your father was an alcoholic, so you were more likely to have that same problem based simply on genetics. Believe me: There is absolutely no shame in admitting that you need help. And if you don't want to seek professional/medical help right now, why not start with finding a support group meeting to attend? AA and SMART Recovery (a 12-step alternative) have helped so many people find and maintain sobriety.

    Personally, I think the best thing for you to do is to find an addiction specialist and make an appointment with them. They can assess your individual situation and recommend the best next steps for you. The bottom line is that dealing with your alcohol issues on your own means they will likely get much worse before they get better. And you will possibly face all kinds of fallout from your problem; things like health issues, financial issues, possible legal issues, etc. I just don't think it's worth it.

    I'm sending you lots of positive, sober vibes along with tons of hope and encouragement. You can beat alcohol and make your life waaaay better. I know you can. You just have to commit to improving your life and be willing to do the necessary work.

    We're here to help and support you however we can, so don't hesitate to reach out anytime.