I was doing great free and clear of the demons called drugs. Well I was suffering terribly with my sciatic nerve so I self medicated with any addicts drug opiates. The pain stopped but I was left with the ultimate where do I get more? NO NO NO, I can't go back down that road so I didn't. Instead I ran into a old supplier from the past and of course I told him "Man I feel like crap coming off of pain meds, he said what any dealer would say And what I did NOT want to hear was hey man you know while you got no energy I got what will help with that and there it was the drug that nearly destroyed me 2 years ago after my divorce.... METH.. Here buddy try a little bit to get you through the withdrawals. He wasn't helping me he just knew when this little bit ran out my addictive personality would be texting ok I buy some. So as I stand in the bathroom crying from what I was about to do but I couldn't stand the fatigue any longer. I wrapped it in toilet paper and parachuted it. Boom I was at feet of the damn devil itself. I lost! Wait I thought I had lost. This went on for 3days I started to feel the " Meth life" again and I don't care what any addict believes or what there reasoning was to stop family, career, tired of the stress getting it, healthier life, religion, etc . Those that have quit before have had a reason and the first time for me was my kids. I didn't want them growing up without a father, so I went to rehab the first time. However this time again crying in the bathroom mirror I looked at myself and said I can't live this life, it didn't work the first time and I will be damned if I let it go any further ... I had a few pieces left in my wrapped up piece of paper, I didn't wrap it in toilet paper this time instead I took it and placed it directly on my tongue and didn't chaise it down with nothing.... The taste was horrifying , it lingered, it made me nauseous , but I had a reason for doing that because I never wanted to forget this day. I won't go back down that road. Again. I will admit I am scared of withdrawals but it was only like 3 maybe 4 days of minium use. I will have to get through it this time without detox rehab. Thank God I didn't use any longer and more intense or my detox would be awful! I speak from the heart about this METH or any drug will slowly crawl into your life and the next thing you know your life is practically gone. I hope some of You could pray for me who knows what the next several days will feel like I am kinda a grown man wimp lol I hate pain. Anyway to all of you and myself remember we are not alone. Reach out before you take Your next fix. That's what I should had done. However this time I killed the fix before I got addicted again. God bless everyone.