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20+ yrs of daily abuse how do I stop?

Discussion in 'Methamphetamine / Meth' started by Og speedfreak, Jun 1, 2019.

  1. Og speedfreak

    Og speedfreak Member

    I have been an a daily user of meth since 89. I got clean 2 times. (I was in prison) both times were 9 months or that's 18 months (maybe) in 30 yrs.
    I was diagnosed bipolar with dissassociative disorder and manic depressive tendencies. Was placed on psych meds lithium,lithionate, and temazepam,diazepam, lorazepam, effexor and Zoloft.
    I continued using meth . eventually stopped taking the psych meds and continued my meth use. It's now 15 +yrs later and I am using about a sixteenth a day. I am a "functioning " addict. Meaning I have a home, car, job, and family who have no idea I am still actively using. But now I have to quit. I caught a case 2 yrs ago, and it's finally caught up to me. I have to quit, I'm too old to go to prison again, that's for youngsters lol. I have to be able to work, and function, how do I detox without everything going to hell?
  2. Og speedfreak

    Og speedfreak Member

    Btw.. I've been to expensive private rehab, state ordered rehab, many many drug treatment groups,half way houses,and sober living houses.
  3. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    @Og speedfreak hello and welcome. Have you tried SMART? These are meetings that are different than NA. They are online and in person. Also there are addiction specialist now. Keep coming here for support. I'm an opiate addict so I can't help you but hopefully @True concern will be by as he has more experience with meth. We got you!
    deanokat likes this.
  4. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Og speedfreak hello and welcome!!! glad you want to quit... i know you've tried things, but you just keep trying. it sometimes takes multiple rehab stays.... or programs... what was the thing that resonated with you the most treatment wise???? what are some other things you could try? tackle this on multiple levels... body, mind, and spirit. holistically.

    are you able to see a darn good addiction specialist? therapist? are there other issues in your life you think propel you to keep using? (besides the obvious diagnoses you mentioned)

    we are here for you. come here anytime. great group of people and we will be rooting for you.
    Joshstillclean likes this.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Welcome to the community, @Og speedfreak. I'm happy that you found us and reached out. And that you want to quit using meth. Coming here is a big first step and I'm proud of you for taking it.

    Definitely consider seeing an addiction specialist. They can assess your individual situation and recommend the best next steps for you to take. Think about checking out a SMART Recovery meeting online (, too. And you can always lean on us for help, support, or just a listening ear. We're here and we care. You are not alone!

    Hope to see you around here a lot going forward. Hope @True concern weighs in on your post, too.
  6. Og speedfreak

    Og speedfreak Member

  7. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    @Og speedfreak,first off considering the thing's you have mentioned I see no need to explain this with "liberal terms"So for you to even begin to change you must first answer a few things honestly to yourself.Why did you start speed?What kept you relying on it?By that I mean take an inventory of the thing's you do on speed...all of them.Whatever you feel you can't do without speed write it down to reference as you go forward.I can't help but question you on this.You say your a functional user,by functional did you mean it allows you to remain stable and rational?Please don't take any of this wrong as I have been there myself...yes even caught a few case's but that's irrelevant just wanted you to know i have been exactly where you are and there came a point where I had to erase the lie I was telling myself,a functional user doesn't end up in prison rather it was probably the dope that caused you to do something questionable.....Try to really think about that because if you are going to stop you must first accept that you have convinced yourself the life you live currently is functional however my friend functional never leads to prison that is called dysfunctional again I mean no offense. Make sure to write that list because it's going to help more than you could even understand at this time.As you detox or come down,I have been there and I just don't think detox is the correct word for speed as it has zero physical addiction properties it's really Eat,Shi*,Sleep,repeat.Yes your body is going to hurt but anyone's body would hurt after missing so much sleep and over doing it with everything like we do on speed,I think that's true of everyone.Yes you will be weak for about 6 week's again we don't eat properly on speed and we lose muscle tone many people misinterpret this as physical addiction but I assure you it is not.For the amount of time you have been using and for the quantity you use there is zero doubt you are looking minimum at 1 week of sleep maybe 2,I understand that is nearly impossible to make happen however this is the web you have wired my friend and to break free of this substance you are going to need continuous sleep there is just no way around it.Stay Strong and God Bless you
    deanokat likes this.
  8. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Og speedfreak... How are you doing? Your one word post from yesterday has me a little worried. Check in with us if you get a chance, okay? We're here and we care.
    True concern and Joshstillclean like this.
  9. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Community Champion

    Second that...
    I am kinda worried friend.
    R u ok?
    True concern likes this.
  10. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I missed it,I have been waiting so patiently on this individual
  11. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Still wondering about your status, @Og speedfreak. Sending good juju your way. Stop by and let us know how you are, my friend.