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3 days...

Discussion in 'Cocaine' started by peachydust, Aug 8, 2018.

  1. peachydust

    peachydust Member


    I’ve been a daily cocaine user for the last 15 years. I didn’t think I could stop. I never told anyone. I wanted to quit, but I have tremendous body dysmorphia and I was scared to get fat. Over time I just got used to having coke on me and I didn’t want to not have it.

    So, when my boyfriend got a great job offer in another state, I said let’s go! Here is my chance for a fresh start. I’m happy to say that I’m in my new home and I haven’t used cocaine in 3 whole days.

    I want it, but I don’t feel like I’m going to die without it. Can I really do this?
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @peachydust... Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing with us. And YES! You CAN really do this! Because you ARE doing it! Congratulations on your 3 days, my friend! That is AWESOME!!!!

    You may want to look into Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, or SMART Recovery meetings to give you some support as you embark on this recovery journey. All of those groups have online meetings, too, if that's easier for you. I also recommend talking to a therapist who has experience in treating patients with addiction issues. They can help you keep you on track, too. It's good to talk about what you're feeling.

    We are a caring group of people who will help and support you any way we can, so feel free to come by and post here anytime you'd like. Writing about your recovery can be very therapeutic, and we will always listen without judgment. You are not alone and you are safe here. Always remember that.

    Sending you lots of hope and encouragement. I'm super proud of you and hope you have a fabulous, cocaine-free day!
    True concern and peachydust like this.
  3. peachydust

    peachydust Member

    Thank you for your response. It really helps to have a place to talk, because I’ve kept this in for years. And I’m not ready to tell anyone else. I just want to feel like a success. What I’ve done to myself the past 15 years has been terrible and I feel like a huge loser. I’m not going to go back, I just can’t live like that anymore.
    As bad as I feel right now, I’ve actually never felt better, if that makes sense.
    True concern and deanokat like this.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    That absolutely makes sense, @peachydust! And you will feel better as time goes by. Don't forget that. Keep doing the next right thing, my friend! :)
    peachydust likes this.
  5. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    First of all, we welcome you here. You're definitely among safe people who will always be here for you to believe the best for you and to mirror your beautiful self. I want to say that you're definitely not a loser. You became addicted to a substance. And the past is the past and I'm super glad that you are three days clean and feeling better! Sometimes a new environment can be super helpful in overcoming addiction.

    In fact back in the Vietnam War there were plenty of heroin addicts. So many that professionals in the states thought there would be a heroin epidemic when the veterans returned home. But what they found was that many of the men who used heroin while in the war stopped using as soon as they got into the states because they returned home to their loving families and a safe environment. I think I got that information from the book Chasing The Scream, I can't remember. But I remember the gist of it was that environment and loving connections with other people are helpful when it comes to overcoming an addiction.

    That being said, we're here to connect with you in the best way that we can in an authentic way in cyberspace. So come here and share anytime. Also, if you're looking for some Community Support, check out the groups that Dean mentioned above.

    We're here for you believing the best for you!
    True concern, peachydust and deanokat like this.