Hi guys I just wanted to share my story. It started about 20 years ago... When I was 20 I started down the path of destruction though I didnt know it at the time I was just young and dumb. I did any drug I could get my hands on if it made me feel good. I rolled atleast 150 times one year. Then meth, yea stupid though I thought I was still functioning fine since I only did it on the weekends. Now what I didnt understand and what should have been taught since biology and chemistry are my two favorite subjects is how these drugs change our brains. But unfortunately the government decides what we learn in school. I would not come to understand this until recently. So to continue my story I basically found my drug of choice at 32 years old. It was hydrocodone wow it made me feel great I could go to work all day and get so much done. I'm a tile setter by trade and I own my own company its hard work and it took away all the hardness and pain out of it. Tile is heavy but not on opaites. So I finally got up to about 25 10s a day of lortab. I got worried about the tylenol 10k mg a day is really bad on the liver, I knew what I had to do, I had to switch to Oxy smart huh? Lol well about 3 years of that finally got up to 240mg a day 3 80s back then. I couldn't afford it anymore so yep no problem on to the big H. Luckily I didnt do that very long before my mom saved me. She gave me the 450 dollars to start suboxone treatment. I decided right then I'm done with these drugs. Sounded good but I wasnt ready, I read about suboxone before I went and I didnt believe it would work because I didnt understand how opaites actually worked. It worked great I was able to go to work again and function I told myself and the dr I want to take this for the rest of my life. Well I even started to abuse it after a few months. I was prescribed 12 mg a day but my addict brain wanted more so I would buy it wherever I could and snorted it whatever.. It caused major depression and made me feel like a robot when abused because I was at the ceiling of 32mgs. So 10 years later here I am, I understand my mistakes and I know the mechanics behind addiction now and I try to look at it scientifically. It helps to know why you are craving or wanting something. I'm on my 30 day mark of quitting suboxone. I knew if I could just go 4 days without it I would have it whooped. I wanted to share my story because if I can do it anyone can because when your ready to get clean you know it.. I started my taper 10 months ago and I did it the way most say is best I cut 25% down each week I didnt notice much at first until I got down to under 1mg it got hard and longer to stabilize but I stuck through it. I got down to .12mgs or 120 micrograms of suboxone it's such a small peice of a 2mg strip it's crazy it even does anything but it did.. So after jumping off it went well for 2 days I thought wow this is gonna be easy, so here comes 3rd and 4th day suboxone is a long acting opaite so it takes a while like 4 days to completely leave your system. 3rd day was ruff not so much the physical but the anxiety was killer still comes and goes but it's getting better. I called the doc and she gave me gabapentin on the 5th day I had read about things that help and it came up. To my surprise it did help, alot. You have to understand when you have had enough you start to hate the thing that is holding you back like drugs and that's a good thing. So 4th day came harder than 3rd but it was no where close to Oxy or H withdrawl. So to the present day The biggest thing after opaites is the anxiety and stress responses your body and mind are going through. I'm on the 30 day mark and still have paws but itll get better and I'm so excited about being clean for the first time in 20 years. I'm not gonna drink or do any drug that can hinder my healing brain. What I have learned is it's all about homeostasis returning the brain to normal function and that takes abstinence and time. Our brain wants equilibrium and it cant do that with narcotics in your system. I know now that drugs are not the answer because you cannot sustain it. Your brain dosnt want it even though your mind says you do. I am never going back. Even though I cry and laugh in the same day now I'm so excited to actually feel my emotions again. I am no longer a robot. I truly hope this could even reach a single person and help. God bless and be strong. I'm sorry for the wall of text. just wanted to share my story. I hope it can help someone who is going through this and feels like it wont end, It does and you'll be so happy and proud you did it! Ps Grammar is not my strong suit so I apologize in advance lol.