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A friend in need.

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by philthegoat, Mar 12, 2016.

  1. philthegoat

    philthegoat Active Contributor

    Greetings everyone. I've got a friend that, for some time now, has had an alcohol problem. He is 17 and has been drinking since he was 14. I know that drinking for 3 years doesn't sound like much, but when you're getting drunk every Friday, Saturday and a lot of other nights, it does become a problem. Does anyone have any advice on how I can help my friend?
  2. yaitsjonny

    yaitsjonny Member

    Try talking to him first. Make him acknowledge his problem, and let him know how you feel about it. Does it affect his life negatively? Make sure that he sees this, and explain the potential consequences of his addiction if he continues to do so. He is still young, so he may not know the extent of his problem yet. Perhaps contact his parents or legal guardians and have them help you do so.
  3. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Sadly you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. If he hasn't stated he sees this as an issue, then there is no way he will listen to you or whoever has to say. Believe me, specially at that age. I also started drinking very young, it wasn't until several years later (many years) I stopped. But it wasn't until started to see it as a problem... mostly because my liver started making very clear it wouldn't have any of it anymore.
    Steve Dawson likes this.
  4. akiram13

    akiram13 Community Champion

    Try and tell your friend that you are observing their habits. They have to realize what they have a problem and why is he drinking like a fish at that age. Just be there and support that friend and show them that they dont need alcohol in their lives. Does this friend have family that cares for them?
  5. Steve Dawson

    Steve Dawson Community Champion

    Unfortunately, this is all too common in young people. In the UK the number of 18-21 year olds who regularly get blindingly drunk every Friday & Saturday night is astonishingly high, and peer pressure and the need to fit in with their contemporaries only adds to the problem. As your friend is presumably under the legal age to drink, could you speak in confidence to either his parents, or another responsible adult to let them know of his problem ? If he receives the correct support, advice and help now it could drastically improve his chances of avoiding alcoholism a year or so down the line
  6. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    My craziest days started around 15-16 years old and fortunately at 19 I was out. So those are critical ages and kids need to have valid occupations in order not to get in trouble.
  7. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Your part as it has been suggested is to offer advice and hope that he'll change.

    And as SteveDawson suggests another way you could help the kid is to try to get the parents to intervene. If he drinks every night then chances are they already know that he drinks but hearing that someone other than them is concerned about their son might prompt them to do more . . .
  8. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    The issue here is that the kid needs to be receptive to a change, so going to his parents can be a solution, but it has to be a wise approach so that he's not scared away.
  9. Mara

    Mara Community Champion

    I started drinking at around that age too. At first it was just for fun. Going out with friends during the weekends and partying. That's how it usually starts anyway. Then that weekend partying eventually became a habit. And I never noticed that it has become a problem, until it was too late. I was already addicted.
  10. Belovedad

    Belovedad Active Contributor

    Inform him on how much alcohol is robbing his life and let him know the future he will face if he doesn't fix his problem. He needs to be hit with the harsh reality to shake him up and scare him away from that lifestyle.
  11. ejorman1010

    ejorman1010 Senior Contributor

    You have to determine how much alcohol is effecting his life before confronting him about it. If it is just casual drinking, he may not see it as a problem, especially if it is not effecting his ability to go to school and fulfill other responsibilities. If it is a serious issue, you may want to speak to him about how it is hurting his relationships and his ability to meet is responsibilities.
  12. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    All you can do is talk to him and express your concerns. The rest is up to him. He has to want to make the changes and to admit he has a problem. Don't to surprised if your talk had a negative reaction. There is so much peer pressure out there and people just drinking and doing drugs to fit it. It is far too common among young people.
  13. doatk22

    doatk22 Community Champion

    Have you ever talked with him about it being a problem? How does he look at it? You could offer him help to stop but he has to want it first.
  14. rz3300@

    rz3300@ Senior Contributor

    Well, as someone who has had the issue themselves personally, I am not sure how I would have taken advice coming from a friend. I know that I needed help, and I was stubborn, and I think everyone is. That said, though, I knew I needed help but I was scared. I think that if you open up make sure that they know that you are not judging and that your interest is getting them healthy for them.
  15. Nergaahl

    Nergaahl Community Champion

    Maybe encourage him into going to the gym and keeping a healthy diet? One of the main reasons I avoid alcohol is because it has a plethora of unnecessary calories, and thus it is bad for developing my body. If he starts a fit lifestyle, he is less likely to consume alcohol. I have a friend who was an avid marijuana smoker, but gave it over in the favor of a healthy living. It changes people.
  16. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    @philthegoat, are you close enough to your friend that you know what his home life is like? What he is like in school before he begins to drink? These could be reasons for his drinking and helpful approaches when you do talk to him.
  17. monty

    monty Active Contributor

    "A friend in need is a friend in deed" everyone knows this very well and we have to prove this now.
    Go ahead and support him let him know about himself from you and his activities and tell him that how alcohol is bad for his health and even he may die if he has an addiction to this and help him in his bad times.
    Try to be a good friend and a supporter.
  18. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    All we can do is offer our support true, but there has to be will on the other side because we cannot do anything but offer help, our friend must want to change.
  19. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    Good friends devise the greatest idea to help their friends out. If you have talked, persuaded and pleaded with your friend to stop drinking, and there is no effect. Get a gruesome video or documentary that shows how alcohol damages the body system or create a vividly descriptive slide to discourage him.

    The next time he picks up a bottle, your slide will come to memory.
  20. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    @philthegoat, we haven't heard from you lately. How are things going with your friend?