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A friends addiction to sex.

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Friend' started by jessicaa, Sep 11, 2015.

  1. jessicaa

    jessicaa Member

    She's only just turned 18 and last tuesday had an abortion, which has not only left her extremely emotional, but also her family and I the same way. She just doesn't see it as a problem though. She has boyfriends, sometimes two at once, but she also refuses to use any protection, which in this day and age is completely necessary, with the amount of STD's and also unwanted pregnancies. She just won't listen to me, or her family, and i am at a loose end, i dont know how to help her anymore. She has been like this since she was THIRTEEN.
    Damien Lee likes this.
  2. Nergaahl

    Nergaahl Community Champion

    She should consider going to a psychologist. And you should also advise her to do so, no matter how rude you may sound, but it's better to make sure she's safe (and sane). This is a trait of people with personality disorders, and it is not to be ignored. Her family should know better how to approach her so consider telling them this. It is just not normal to be so obsessed with sex.
  3. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    I really feel sorry for your friend. Such a horrible scenario! My question is, since she was 13, what were parents doing about her? There are a lot of unanswered questions here but i can only hope all ends well for her.
  4. lalabee21

    lalabee21 Active Contributor

    This is terrible, and the truth is that I can’t help but feel sorry for your friend. You know what I think? That she has a void she’s trying to fill. She’s very young and confused, and she believes that doing all that can help her get rid of that emptiness she has inside. She needs a lot of love from everyone who’s around. Try not to judge her, but to show her how much you care about her. When you talk to her tell her that all that she’s doing will only make her feel worse.

    Now, what about her parents? Why isn’t this girl in therapy? I can’t believe they are not doing anything about this. Talk to them and make them understand that she needs professional help and support.
  5. bsthebenster

    bsthebenster Community Champion

    If she isn't changing her ways and using protection after getting her abortion their might be something psychologically going on with your friend. She should probably go attend counselling for the grief that generally occurs after someone gets an abortion. If she's not changing she might not be in touch with reality and will need counciling. Another scenario is that she is uninformed about STI's and the effects of abortion on the body. She might be depressed and not care about the effects of unprotected sex. Either way she should go to her family doctor, or make an appointment with a nice councillor, possibly a female so she feels more comfortable.
  6. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    It's incredible that in our modern world where sex is not longer a taboo nor the contraceptive methods, girls do like your friend @jessicaa, and yet that girls start a sexual life at a thirteen or earlier.

    However if she refuses any protection or moderation despite she know what the consequences are, and having suffered abortion, this could mean not just sex addiction, but an attitude she took to... punish? her parents or someone.

    She might be hating something and the only way she has to show her anger is by going the wrong way, kind of "giving a lesson" to whoever or whatever caused her to be that way.

    Undoubtedly, she needs psychological attention as the first step to stop the landslide she is into.
  7. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    This is quite sad. I suspect there is an underlying problem which needs to be addressed. That she has been having this problem for such a long time I have to ask where are the parents on this? Whatever the case, I hope she gets some professional help and soon. Someone needs to step in and save this young lady. Jessicaa, do what you can to be best for her. She needs your help.
  8. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    She sounds like an incredibly promiscuous girl, I had a similar phase, but it only lasted a couple years when I was a teen! At 18 she should already be working to get her stuff together, at 18 she should be more responsible. If she won't listen to you or her own family, then no now can really help her. She must want to help herself first...
  9. SharkyJen998

    SharkyJen998 Active Contributor

    I am so sorry to hear that you, your friend, and her family are going through such a rough time. I feel so saddened to hear that she does not see the harsh realities of her behavior. I think society today does normalize abortion. Your friend may not see her unwanted pregnancy as an issue because she can simply have an abortion. She may feel that abortion is a better option for her now.

    Have you tried to talk with her about her behaviors coming from a place of non-judgement? Explain that you are ONLY concerned for her well-being. Maybe trying to get her involved in a new activity or set of peers could influence her to change.

    Her problems starting at a young age indicates she normalizes her behavior and surrounds herself with peers who accept and possibly enable her behaviors.

    Best of luck to you all.
  10. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Maybe something happened that made her like that? I do not think that a very young girl will just be addicted to sex if she was not exposed on it early or there is no serious reasons. I think knowing how her addiction started might help in knowing the ways how to help her. Professional help sounds necessary in her situation.
  11. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    I also thing that here is an underlying problem. She is seeking to fill a void for something else in her life. She probably has low self esteem and these people she is sleeping with make your feel good if only for a short period of time. She is old enough to know that she should be using protection and the consequences that can result from not using them. There is not much you or her mother can do if she refuses to listen. I hope she realizes it before it is too late. I also suggest professional help for her but I am sure she will refuse that too.
  12. Damien Lee

    Damien Lee Community Champion

    Unfortunately, you friend has taken a wrong path at a very young age. She's definitely looking for trouble with her sexual behavior. I knew girls like this back when I was in high school, they completely ruined their lives. Obviously, men find her very desirable and this must be a big turn-on and an addiction for her. But if she doesn't change her ways soon, I seriously don't know how she will end up.
  13. Mims

    Mims Active Contributor

    I'm going to go with the crowd and say that your friend has underlying issues that she needs to address. Having such a sexual appetite at this age is something more than teenage hormones and a high sex drive. People turn to addiction to fill a void that they have in their life, so your friend may be using it as a distraction for some type of pain or emptiness. It could be low self-esteem or maybe she has had poor relationships with her parents or others.
  14. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    This is so tragic. She's only 18 years old, but she has already been through so much in life. I really do feel bad about her, but it looks like she doesn't even care about what's happening to her. I guess as a friend, all you have got to do is to try to encourage her to pull herself up, and be mature enough now.
  15. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    There must be a reason behind that; negligence or fear of not being loved by family members. I can not say that that is how her society is, but it can result from influence. It can result from home and how much they care about victims of such situations. She might be having dreams but she lacks motivation. Please help her and be close to her.
  16. Psyduck

    Psyduck Active Contributor

    This is a really big deal and would ruin her completely. Though, this might have a reason originally, it can't be justified and it should stop for the sake of your friend. Try your level best to advice her and talk to her sincerely and if that doesn't help, getting medical attention is the best choice you got.
  17. Vinaya

    Vinaya Community Champion

    Some girls and boys may have more than one sexual partners, this is quite natural, however, having unprotected sex is unnatural. I think she has some kind of illness. Perhaps she is trying to destroy herself because she does not find anyone who cares for her. She needs to see a psychologist or behavioral therapist.
  18. JohnBeaulieu

    JohnBeaulieu Community Champion

  19. rush

    rush Member

    Sorry to hear, Maybe something has happen from a early age, which could of been traumatising? I have seen people like this back in secondary school times they haven't ended up to well nowadays. She is 18 now if she doesn't change her ways soon, I seriously don't know how she would be in the future
  20. Deeishere

    Deeishere Active Contributor

    What I wonder about is was she sexually abused at a young age? Studies have shown that kids who act out like this and is very promiscuous have been through a traumatic event. I also wonder did she have a father in her home. I have also seen studies where a child would act out and become attach to a lot of boys/men if they lack or long for a father figure. I do hope that somehow you or her family can reach her. I also believe therapy will be the key so she can open up to what's going on inside. One of my close friends is dealing with the same issue with her granddaughter. Her father died when she was young and when she got older, she just seem to start rebelling.