A Wolf in sheep's clothing, That's what Marijuana is

I go back and forth on the whole marijuana thing. It's one of very few things I have trouble making a definitive decision on.

When I was in my late teens, I smoked pot occasionally. I probably smoked it 15 to 20 times total. It's the only illegal drug I ever tried, and I never bought it. I always got it from my sister. The feeling I got from pot was enjoyable at first, but the novelty of it kind of wore off.

Fast-forward to about 10 years ago, when I found out my oldest son was smoking pot. At first I thought, like a lot of parents do, "Oh, it's just him experimenting," and I kind of blew it off. But unlike me at his age, my son's pot smoking became a habit, and he became addicted to it.

My son suffered from severe depression and anxiety. The marijuana smoking was his attempt at feeling "normal." Unfortunately, the cannabis didn't play nice with my son's anti-depressants and his mental health deteriorated. He also eventually started using heroin.

I've always looked at pot as my son's "gateway drug." He smoked and felt better for a while. But when his emotional health took a turn for the worst, he moved on to heroin. I think he was looking for a better high.

Anyway, I spent a long time being against pot. However...

My younger son started experimenting with pot when he went to college about a year ago. When I first heard this, I was devastated and terrified. I envisioned him taking the same road as my son. Pot -------> heroin. Maybe that's skewed thinking, but after going through what I went through with my older son, it was just the natural thought progression.

But I sat down and had some conversations with my younger son, and he is adamant that it's just a recreational thing for him. And, so far, I see no signs that would indicate anything different.

I learned long ago that a parent can't control what their adult child (my younger son is 19) does, so I have chosen not to go down that road this time around. In a perfect world, would I rather that my son didn't smoke pot? Of course.

But the world isn't perfect.

With all the legalization of marijuana that's going on, I think the thinking among young people is that it must be okay. I also hear the "It's safer/better than alcohol" argument all the time. And you know what? I think I'm starting to agree.

I grew up with an alcoholic father, and I've experienced so many horrible things because of my dad's drinking. I actually told my wife not too long ago that, even though it's illegal where we live, I might rather my younger son smoke pot than drink alcohol (he hates alcohol and doesn't drink). I couldn't even believe I said that. But I think that's how I feel right now.

But, like I said. I go back and forth on the whole marijuana thing.

This is along, rambling post. I hope it makes some sort of sense.