I was once involved with someone who was a marijuana smoker and drank heavily. He would drink and smoke to the point where it would seem as if his eyes would appear red and sometimes seem unable to be opened. He would go to parties with his friends and take me along. This would be about 12 to 15 individuals. When he enter these parties they would instantly find a corner and set up a table with alcohol beverages and get cigarettes and marijuana. There would be times when they would pass around the spliff and i would take it and smoke for a few minutes. I liked the feeling of it at first as it made me feel so powerful and capable of doing just about anything. I am usually a shy person but smoking gave me confidence i never thought i could have. This for me was something that i felt fantastic about and would tell my boyfriend to get my share of marijuana different from his. Surprisingly he told me that he did not want me to smoke, we fought over this and he unwillingly granted me my wish. I was using marijuana for almost six months and i felt like a superhuman. There was however a few drawbacks, i found that i was getting extremely aggressive and would easily get in conflicts with others, sometimes for no reason. I was aware of this, it was not a case where i did not know what was happening or had a mental block, i was aware of it all. Being someone reserved by nature, I did not like this side of it when the high was gone and felt embarrassed and and constantly found myself apologizing to people around me often. Persons around me expressed shocked in the changes in my demeanor. I decided that i was going to fight the urge to smoke but it was not an easy battle because it was always around me in the house. I got pregnant and was so excited because i really wanted a child, my boyfriend was also ecstatic. The story ends with me having a miscarriage around the fourth month of pregnancy and was told that the smoking was the reason for it. I told the doctor that i did not smoke upon learning of my pregnancy, he attributed it to me still being around the smoke in the house. This put a strain between my boyfriend and i because i blamed him and he blamed me. We grew apart and that was the end of my smoking era. I have not conceived any time after that.