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Accountability?

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by Rainman, Jun 27, 2015.

  1. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    @Tremmie My first husband and I were the kind of couple, (the first few years) that told each other the truth about every thing!If a dress made me look fat, or if he was being a total jerk, or smelled particularly ripe, etc.

    When it was time for both of us to quit smoking (the first time we tried). I had a metal case that I hid on a bathroom shelf, with cigs a lighter inside. I was really careful to hide it. I went in the bathroom to light one up, and found my lighter had been replaced with a piece of paper with, "LIAR!!"

    Our 2nd attempt, we had a bet with a friend. The first one to break and have a smoke had to buy all the beer for a month. On day 5, my ex confessed that he broke on day 1. He didn't want to tell us because he didn't want to make it harder for us to quit.

    Instead of the couple that told each other everything, we were the couple that told each other everything... except the truth about quitting.

    If you find out he lied, you should keep in mind that when it comes to honesty about quitting, all bets are off. But once he either gives up quitting all together, or he gives up smoking all together... you are dealing with a whole different animal. Believe me... the only certainty in my life is that I'm going to eventually die... with a cigarette in my mouth.

    But all this is my round about way of saying "good luck with him cutting back or quitting!!"

    I bet its crazy being so close to to starting your career! That is really great! From what UI can tell from talking to you, you have the compassion it takes to be a good doctor! You don't sound like all the doctors around here. They care about money more than the patients. Seriously, Good luck, (even though you don't sound like you need it, sounds like you have it under control!) Have you starting practicing your "I'm disappointed in you" look, and the "I'm doing this for you" nag? lol
  2. Zimbitt

    Zimbitt Senior Contributor

    Yeah as they say we can't do it alone, it is always easier doing pretty much anything with the help of others, takes the pressure off you and helps spread the load.
  3. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Hahahaha, my ''I'm disappointed in you'' look is perfect, hahaha, been practicing with my fiance every time he says he will quit but doesn't even try. The first time I really was, but lately i just do it for the show :p As for my nag, also quite good ;) Practiced that a lot with him last year, not this one, I am too tired :p He will quit when he wants to, I guess, probably not.

    Thank you :D ! I think those doctors who only care about money (most of the doctors here too) are people who shouldn't be doctors in the first place... because if you have no vocation for this and only get in for the money... well, of course you will end up hating it. A friend of mine, a doctor, he had a real vocation! He did care to help his patients and had a lot initiative. Something most doctors nowadays lack :( Sadly he is no longer my family doctor, he had an accident shortly after retiring (he was still doing the private practice thing tho).

    Most doctors nowadays are a bunch of jerks. I have a new family doctor, she is very good, she has initiative and follows up everything I do! Sadly odds are she won't stay :( On Saturday I had a bad allergic reaction, had to go to the ER twice that night, the second time my throat was closing... yet, that jerk of a doctor (woman) was saying I was breathing well. I said: but I feel bad, I can hardly swallow saliva. Plus I knew I was having such a hard time breathing!

    She was like: ''oh but I've checked you, you are breathing well and you don't seem to have an obstructive problem, etc, etc. IDIOT. She was so mean, and plain rude. She kinda suggested i was there for attention -_-' I woke up in the middle of the night not being able to breathe... I had to go to ER in the middle of the night, so far from home and she suggest I was there just for attention... Yes, what a nice way to spend your Saturday night, right? The nerve of some of those ''doctors''. Plus I went there again because I know my allergic reactions often get pretty bad D: Last time my whole face was swollen, closed eyes and duck lips!!!

    You know what i hate the most about them? When they think they know your own body better than you do... no bodies are the same or react the same to things... I know my body better than anyone, I know when something is wrong! So many times doctors have made a lot mistakes diagnosing someone... just because they think they are demi gods who know everything! I hae noticed they no longer listen to the patients :(
  4. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    I had my first seizure, ever, when I was 33.They did a drug test, and checked all the possibilities. They couldn't figure it out, so I was admitted for 3 days. The neurologist they sent in told me it was epilepsy. no one knows why it took so long to manifest. I started going to him regularly. He knew I was poor so he never chrged me, not even once. THAT is a good doctor. Its a shame more doctors are like the one that ignored your swollen throat, instead of being more like Dr. Couch.
  5. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    @LilAnn I just came back from the ER... remember I told you last Saturday they hadn't even paid attention to me? Well, my allergic reaction came back last night, stronger than ever! My whole face was so swollen, my lips almost bursting! I knew I had to go back, so last night I only slept one hour or less... My sleep patterns are already so bad, but this made it worse. I knew I wasn't ok to go last Saturday, I knew it! Most doctors now suck :( The younger the worse! This time they didn't ignore me because my face was so swollen too, and I was getting hives inside my mouth.

    I'm sorry to hear you have seizures! How bad are your seizures? Do you lose consciousness completely during them? or you are just like me and suffer from confusion for some minutes? Have they done a MRI?
  6. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    Oh dear god! At least they paid attention this time. Its a real shame when doctors are too busy to pay attention, and PREVENT something...

    I have "juvenile myochonic epilepsy". I have a few different kinds of seizures. Its an odd case, I guess, because I had never experienced a real seizure before the age of 33. There were a couple of incidents where I passed out for no reason, and one time when I drove into a deep. boulder filled ditch, and had no idea why or what happened. I was just on the road and then it instantly changed to the ditch. But march 10, 2010 I had an all out gran mal seizure. I was trying to bum a cigarette from a neighbor who was also outside. Next thing I know I'm layingg down with 2 neighbors rubbing my face and telling me to not move. So I sat up and where my husband was. Everything seemed normal. Laying in a mud puddle seemed like nothing out of the ordinary at the time. I didn't even feel any pain where I busted my chin open, or any wetness from my face landing in a mud puddle or from wetting myself. I didn't know anything like that until I was told. But anyway, as soon as I stand up I see my husband directing an ambulance back to me. I was seizing long enough to fall in the ditch, my husband run outside, turn me over and scoop mud out of my mouth, him tell someone to call 911, and then the time it took for the ambulance to get there. When they pulled out the gurney, and i asked who they were there for, I was told I had a seizure. I disagreed until my husband told me in very strong terms that I had one and was going to the hospital. Three days later, after having wires glued to my head for the entire time, I came home with a diagnosis of epilepsy. @ days later I was laying on the couch, watching tv. My husband came in the room and looked at me very oddly. He says, "did you find what you were looking for?" I was like, "huh?". I had gotten up, walkied into the computer room and asked him where the nearest adult movies were. He said, "you know as well as I do." (probably pretty confused). And I went back to laying on the couch and watching tv. I never even missed a second. I never do, though. Over the past several years its been under control really well. I just have to make sure I keep my stress level down enough and I'll be fine. I won't take a medication thats specifically for seizures. But I'll take an anti0-psychotic or non narcotic nerve pill, that doubles as an anti-convulsant. I haven't had one, that anyone knows about, in around 3 years now.
  7. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Man, that sounds really awful! I'm glad you haven't had a seizure in such a long time, hopefully it is under control now! My seizures are nothing like that, I just suffer from confusion for a bit (not remembering how to form proper sentences or how to add and subtract - no kidding), but after a few minutes I am fine.

    I have seen people having a full blown seizure, I saw my classmate having one when I was little, she was on the floor and almost bites her tongue. We were all so scared! Epilepsy is such a tough disease, I really thought so when I was little and still do to this day. You are so brave! I'd be so scared to leave the house or drive if I had the same issue.
  8. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    Yes it's important to have someone who can guide you through and rectify you when you go wrong.Such a person will hold you accountable for your actions and you'll be inclined to follow the right path and procedure always.
  9. anorexorcist

    anorexorcist Community Champion

    I think that it really depends on the person, there are people who prefer dealing with this kind of things just by themselves. But I think that having someone who really underststans what you're going through helps a lot, because there can be a lot of people around you but a lot of them don't really understand you, and it's always good to have someone there for you.
  10. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    A sponsor. Some people need it I guess. Someone to hold their hand. I don't really know if that helps. I think if they are in contact with someone they admire and have concern for what they think would work.
    Someone to report to about your progress? Sure, why not? I'm just wondering what happens when they break from that person or are they going to feel like Mommy needs to hold their hand. Will power doesn't really come from somebody holding your hand or talking you out of something. It comes from your personal why. Like why are you doing this or why should it matter. Why actually be sober? It has to be from inside that actual person not the kind of authority that you are holding yourself accountable to. Seems hollow and full of possible pit falls. They can lie, but they can't lie to themselves. It can be something that brings an individual great satisfaction to focus and achieve something on their own, of their own freewill. No one telling them what to do or forcing them, looking down on them if they fall or fail. There is nothing worse than disappointing yourself, maybe disappointing yourself again. I think if a person is given the plan and back up. There is nothing better than impressing oneself to achieve sobriety. But what do I know perhaps the demon is so great they need the guardian.