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Addicted husband

Discussion in 'Methamphetamine / Meth' started by Shortybug1989, Apr 18, 2018.

  1. Shortybug1989

    Shortybug1989 Member


    I will try to make a long story short, I think I'm just seeking advice of confirmation that I'm doing the right thing.

    My husband was a user in the past, when I met him he was 6 years clean. We got married and little did I know that between steroids, pills, and meth, he was still a user.

    After 2 years of marriage and 7 months into my pregnancy I discovered my husband had gone back to his drug of choice, meth, and had been living a double life. He has been unemployed for over a year. I work so while I was working he was doing drugs and cheating on me. When I discovered this at 7 months pregnant I moved back to my home state only to return and give him a chance to get clean. That was 6 months ago and he is still unemployed, an absent father, heavily using meth, while I take care of my son and step daughter and pay all of the bills.
    I am a teacher so his addiction threatens my children and myself in more ways than one, he could ruin my career forever. His family and I have given him different treatment options and there is an excuse for every one of them. He has tried to quit on his own many times and failed but it is the only way he's willing to try.

    I am prepared to leave him. I want to separate and move 3000 miles back to my home state with our son.

    Is this the right thing to do?
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @Shortybug1989 hi there. thanks for reaching out. i'm sorry you are having to go through this.

    it sounds like he isn't willing to do what is necessary for him to make the effort to get clean and get his life together. we don't always understand why some are and some aren't.

    i can't say if this is right or wrong for you. it IS important that the kids are in a safe environment. i know in nar-anon they teach that if you set boundaries and your partner doesn't step up to the plate to do his part, then sometimes leaving is the best option.

    you deserve a healthy relationship...with someone putting for the effort. so if you want to leave, that is understandable.

    i hope this helps.
  3. Shortybug1989

    Shortybug1989 Member

    Thank you for the advice. Of course I wrote this today and it just so happens he is trying to come down today but when I asked him why today he said his hook up is in me that sounds like he isn't doing it by choice so I am not getting my hopes up. It is just nice to know that I'm not alone and other good people have dealt with the same issues.

    Thank you again.
  4. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @Shortybug1989 yeah, i'd need to see some serious effort to reach out for professional help if it were me.... MY sanity matters, and having a safe and peaceful home matters too.

    here if you need
  5. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Shortybug1989... Nar-Anon and Al-Anon teach us this about a loved one's addiction: You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. If your husband isn't willing to commit to getting help and getting clean, you have every right to do whatever you need to do so that you and your son are able to live a happy, healthy life. And please note: Healthy means both physical AND mental health.

    We're here for you, my friend.