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Addicted to a Person?

Discussion in 'Other Substances' started by Ali16, Sep 14, 2015.

  1. Ali16

    Ali16 Senior Contributor

    I have a weird problem with a seems as if he is addicted/obsessed with me, not in a romantic way. He wants to text me constantly or talk with me on the phone nonstop. There are days when I'm busy and can't talk that I will still get at least one text an hour asking if I can talk yet or what am I doing. It's recently progressed to wanting to know where I am. Am I home yet? Am I at so and so's house still, etc. It's starting to get a bit creepy. What should I do?
  2. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    You sure it is not in a romantic way?
    If not, maybe he has a problem and wanting to always have someone to talk you and that is you for him. Maybe try to find out why he is acting weird or if you can ask him directly, why not? You can also try to tell him that it is bothering you already.
  3. Coolkidhere

    Coolkidhere Community Champion

    Yeah, I was going to ask that also, are you really sure it is not in a romantic way? It seems like there is a possibility that he has some romantic intentions with you. He is surely acting like an over protective boyfriend. I don't think friends has this need to constantly text another whether they're in their house yet or not or other such things.

    I think you should confront him. He might get hurt if you just ignore him and the friendship might be ruined. Tell him that you are starting to feel a bit uncomfortable with what he is doing. If you still want to keep the friendship, that is. But you can just ignore him if he's not that important in your life. I've gotten into some situations like this and usually they just stop if you ignore them.
  4. Nergaahl

    Nergaahl Community Champion

    Have you tried telling him you are bothered by his behavior, and ask him to stop? It is sometimes a good thing to do. If, however, things get worse, try to ignore / avoid him, as people with a possessive behavior often have mental issues.

    He might as well feel lonely and depressed, and doesn't know what to do anymore. You probably seem like the best friend to him, and he needs your support or validation. Try and talk to the dude about this, maybe he needs some help.
  5. amin021023

    amin021023 Community Champion

    He's just lonely, take it'll pass once he overcomes this stage and become less certainly isn't romantic because if it was he wouldn't be texting you like that, I mean who does that to their crush? I've seen cases like this, some guys are just obsessed to hang out with their friends. If he continues this behavior and it bothers you, don't say it to his face, let him down easily...
  6. Damien Lee

    Damien Lee Community Champion

    That's indeed creepy behavior and you need to set some boundaries with this friend of yours. You need to make it perfectly clear to him that you're not comfortable with him calling or texting you all the time. That doesn't mean that you will cease all communications with him, just reduce it to a reasonable amount. Hopefully he will understand this and respond accordingly.
  7. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    I would say that he is just lonely and he reaches out to you because he knows you will talk back to him. Some people are just more needy then others. They need to have people to talk to. To you it may seem like a bother but to this guy you talking to him means something to him. He values your friendship. If it is really bothering you then you should tell him but be prepared that by doing so you may hurt his feelings.
  8. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    I think it's time to set some boundaries with him. Talk about your feelings and decide what you're going to do further, he may be in love with you and you might just lure him in for no reason (of course, not intentionally). He most likely has an interest in you, no friend wants to talk to you non-stop. :p
  9. Ali16

    Ali16 Senior Contributor

    I do know it's not romantic - we had THAT discussion some weeks ago. On Wednesday, I sat him down for a long talk. I found out he's really struggling due to the upcoming anniversary of his mother's death. We talked about that and about how bad his anxiety is...which led right into his need for constant contact with his friends. Turns out he had already realized he was being too emotionally attached to me after a conversation with his best friend's mom. The result of it all - he's looking for a therapist to start seeing to help with his anxieties and how he needs constant contact with his friends to try and control his anxiety.
    Coolkidhere likes this.
  10. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    You are a guy and he's a guy. You know he's not gay. I think I know what this is about. Sometimes we get what we give.
    Maybe not a real situation. Just a something to say story. Lol I don't mind if someone calls and texts all the time if I am in love or like. If someone is not fitting that, not so much. Its really got nothing to do with telling anybody anything. I know who you are talking about and what you are saying. It wouldn't of made a difference. It certainly doesn't mean anything now. The incognito forum posts.
    He is the guy I spoke of in another section. Really, what is being said says nothing much unless you know what and who. People get offended for a reason and they end up with just deserts.
  11. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Since you already have confirmed that it's because of his mom's death, then you now know where he's coming from. At least you tried to understand him and gave him support and you did not abandon him when he needs someone to talk to.
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2015
  12. Jasmine2015

    Jasmine2015 Community Champion

    You need to set boundaries with such person. Let them know you feel (insert emotion) and things need to change. I don't know the chances of obsessive people becoming violent, not that all are, but your safety comes first. Call the cops if you have to.
  13. Coolkidhere

    Coolkidhere Community Champion

    Good thing that you talked to him already. That explains why he is super attached to you for the past few days. I think consulting a therapist is a good idea and it will help him in the long run with his anxiety. You can still talk to him from time to time since you are friends anyways. At least now, you know where he is coming from.
  14. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    I think your friend behavior is not a form of addiction to a person that we may called it. Maybe he is just looking for someone to talk to and to condole him because he is still not recovering from the loss of her mother. I think there is no romantic issues about this and he is just trying to reach out for a friend whom he can share his feelings for what had happened to him. I think you don't have to be bothered by this thing.
  15. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    Do you go to work? You need to be doing some constructive work instead of thinking of being close to your friend. If you do not have work to do then go read in the library. Your behavior can affect your future timetable when you will have other assignments to attend to.