An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the DrugAbuse.com Forums?Join or

Addicted to another person?

Discussion in 'Other Substances' started by GenevB, May 13, 2015.

  1. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    Hello everyone, I want to know what do you think about people who are stating they are addicted to someone else, usually someone of the opposite sex. I knew a guy 2 years ago who was talking with this girl a lot, he stated he kinda got addicted to talking with her, they were chatting the first thing in the morning and the last thing in the evening, even go cam to cam. It was like their whole day was spinning around each other. Until some point where they've started developing feelings for each other and the girl put an end to it. I've never seen someone the way I saw that guy a day after that, he was spiritless, just a warm body with no soul. Weeks after that, he still wasn't himself, he even started smoking and said he hadn't had his last move just yet. What do you think, can people really get addicted to each other? Or at least to the way others makes us feel?
  2. tckc

    tckc Member

    I've learned a new word recently which is kind of related to your post. The word is "limerence" and here is the definition from Wikipedia:

    "Limerence is a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person typically including compulsive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship and have one's feelings reciprocated."

    A friend of mine got this word from his therapist, who used it to describe my friend's relationships with women. It is basically a very strong romantic attachment or obsession with a person.

    There is lots more information about it on the wikipedia article, you might want to check it out and see if it applies to your friend.
    Rosyrain and kana_marie like this.
  3. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    You can call it love, obsession, extreme desire - what have you. But yes, you can get addicted to a person because of the feelings you may have for him or her. As long as the "addiction" does not harm you in any way or prevent you from leading a normal life, then there's no problem with it. If it becomes inconvenient for the other person, then I think you should reconsider your behavior.
  4. oraclemay

    oraclemay Community Champion

    This happens a lot, especially with people who have a low self-esteem as they are in great need of attention. To these individuals any attention is better than none, even if the person they are addicted to is a criminal! It is very difficult to intervene or separate a person like this from their addiction. People have to deal with their own issues before they become involved with others or the results can be devastating.
  5. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    I wasn't exactly referring to that, the guy I was talking about never had a low self-esteem, in fact it was exactly the opposite, but you have an interesting point of view.
  6. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    There are cases where people overstep their natural boundaries. Or, more specific, one person invades another and takes their energy away. It's like modern vampirism. Some people drain you, while others make you feel wonderful. I believe that any kind of obsession is unhealthy, especially where a person starts feeling tired and overwhelmed by another. But, obviously, there also exists real magic out there where two souls just click and feel like they never want to be separate again.
  7. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    I was actually talking in the first post about the scenario where you met someone who makes you feel wonderful and that would be the main point where the addiction comes from.
  8. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Sometimes the word "addiction" is being overused or just used o express strong desire or feelings but not really an addiction yet. I agree that could be love or desire that could still grow as they know each other more. Which in time could really be an obsession or addiction.
  9. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    I don't think I overused that word because I've seen that guy and how much harm did not talking with that girl to him. He even started smoking, so you could say he searching for a substance to replace replace the high he had we they talked.
  10. orangesunset

    orangesunset Active Contributor

    It is called co-dependent usually an addict has a co-dependent who makes excuses for the addicts behaviour and in some cases actually makes the problem worse. It is an addiction, usually the co-dependent needs to go to Alanon or a similar type case. In some cases the problem can be fixed, in extreme cases it can not.

    This behaviour is extremely distructive for both the addict and the co-dependent.
  11. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    A lot of people get addicted to each other, which is not necessarily a bad thing in some cases. I think marriage is a big problem since it kind of puts "pressure" on both partners to be addicted to each other since they are meant to be togheter forever.
    It's unhealthy sometimes, and people should be careful about this. You shouldn't rely on a person to make you happy. Always rely on yourself.
  12. Domen

    Domen Active Contributor

    I can tell you from my personal experience that people can get addicted to each other. When I was 18 I meet a really cool girl and I soon fell in love with her. We spoke for hours and hours over Skype and she was the center of my universe. She got all my attention and I really couldn't find a way to even function normally if I didn't chat with her for at least three hours. I was addicted to her. She has put and end to everything three months after we met. We have later bumped into each other and are now friends who chat once in a while. She has later told me that she also was addicted to me and she wanted that to stop.
  13. kana_marie

    kana_marie Community Champion

    I think it probably has many names, but if you're asking if its an actual addiction then no it isn't. Limmerence (which I think is an awesome word and I'm glad Iearned it today), obsession, codependency, stalking, psycho, lonely, needy, etc etc etc.
    People like to use the word "addicted" to describe an intense enjoyment interacting with a potential partner. They use the term "addicted" a lot for everything. An addiction IS NOT the same thing as a want, a desire, intensity, obsession, or need. But believe me, there are some differences.
  14. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    I agree with your point, the fact about marriage it's that it forces you into it and you take it for granted, you think you might get away with anything since you're married. When you're not married on the other hand, you always try to impress your partner, always try to make her feel special because you know you can lose her at any moment.
    It's always unhealthy to rely your happiness on a person because she or he might always leave and leave you in misery, you should be happy for the simple fact that you are alive and you get to see another sunrise and sunset everyday.
  15. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    I understand exactly what you mean. I feel like I could write a book on the subject. Some say those addictions are more or less emotional relationships and very often one person or both start to development more than platonic feelings for the other. That's where the really serious problems can develop if you do not distant yourself. It is believed that these 'addictions" or emotional affairs can be more harmful than actual affairs as they have the potential of destroying 'real" relationships.
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2015
  16. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Co-dependent I believe is the term for someone like this. I think a psychopath perhaps might get like this as well. Western med has a ton of terms but an intoxication and sickness may occur in one or the other. I think when one is toxic that one when they loose out. This is usually when someone drops into loss of spirit. The third party law is also where you see it. The toxic person sabotages the relationship of two people that are together. One or both in that couple becomes ill because that outside source broke them up and caused their sickness. Whenever anyone has a loss of spirit it generally comes from a toxic source whether it is their own or from another. It's very important who you spend your time with. If you are the toxic person get it sorted out or you will feel this way whenever someone you get close to leaves. The reality of this is the reason why they left is because you are toxic. So if you correct it, the next one just might be able to stay.
  17. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    I think this is normal. It's just like after a break up, people get depressed. Your friend probably had feelings for this person and was hurt when they stopped talking. As long as you can move on without staying depressed about a break up you'll be okay. Break ups have probably happened to everybody before.
  18. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    People fall into infatuation with each other when they first start out as a couple. It is the chemical attraction and lust. Eventually the newness of the relationship is over and they will either fade away or make it in the end. I would not call it addiction, but more like a fiery romance.
  19. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    In this kind of situation I think it is not a form of addiction. We met new friends along the way either personally or through internet chatting and sometimes we becomes comfortable talking to that person even every single minute of the day for reasons we do not know. The best thing we should do is to just limit ourselves spending time talking or seeing that person so that when the time comes we both depart from each other it is not painful because there is no special attachment involved and we can easily move on.
  20. Nomore141

    Nomore141 Member

    Addiction is a state of mind and the object of addiction can be anything really, so yea I believe it is definitely possible for someone to be 'addicted' to another person. Although I must say, the word itself hold different meaning for different people so the actual inner turmoil it alludes to cannot really be apprehended by an observer.