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Addicted To Love

Discussion in 'Other Substances' started by sadiemarie, Nov 16, 2014.

  1. Carmilla

    Carmilla Active Contributor

    I can see how love could be an addiction - I too have had trouble not being in a relationship and felt lost and alone when not in one, and felt absolutely wonderful when in one, even if it wasn't a healthy relationship. I never thought this could be due to the chemicals but I suppose it makes sense.
  2. katherine25

    katherine25 Senior Contributor

    I don't know much about it, however I do believe it is an addiction. I know someone personally who has never been single. They bounce from relationship to relationship. They had a 11 year relationship with someone and had two kids with them, within a month of breaking up they are already with someone else and engaged to be married. I think its a fear of being abandoned and alone.
  3. cmleasure

    cmleasure Active Contributor

    The kind of love you are speaking of is not true love. It is a fear of being alone. Dependency issues. An addictive personality usually has dependency issues. You need to find a sense of happiness in yourself, by yourself. Be single for at least a year. I'm serious. I have been dealing with this my whole life, and I thought I was better, and I am, but only a bit. 10 years later I am still seeing some of these traits in myself. I read a quote once that seems relevant. "I don't know what I love you means. I think it means don't leave me here alone." I thought it was really sweet at first, but it's actually kind of sad.
  4. Damien Lee

    Damien Lee Community Champion

    Perhaps, I've encountered people that constantly need to be in a relationship. These are the types of folks that don't stay too long in a relationship, or out of it. As soon as they break up with someone, it's only a matter of days or weeks when they are with someone new. They simply can't stand the possibility of ever being alone, even for a little while. They seem to actively seek out love and affection from others.
  5. Nergaahl

    Nergaahl Community Champion

    A friend of mine is addicted to having "crushes" on people. She even told me that she cannot live without having one. I don't get how this can make people feel happy, I have always hated liking someone who doesn't do it back. Most probably, this "addiction" won't last long, as she is still young.
  6. Jasmine2015

    Jasmine2015 Community Champion

    There is nothing like being loved and loving. Though you have to be careful with things like obsession and dependency. You still want to be your own person when in a relationship. And most importantly, don't forget the love you can give to yourself.
  7. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    I think every one wants to be loved, but some look in the wrong places. I don't think it's a chemical imbalance in the brain it may be a natural thing. It's probably more how you go about dealing with these feelings that will determine whether they are healthy or not. You may become addicted to someone if they can manipulate you into
    putting more into them then they do for you.
  8. doatk22

    doatk22 Community Champion

    I definitely do but it stems from low self esteem in the person that's addicted. I know of people who didn't have their daddy around as a kid so they seek relationships with horrible men and can't ever be alone. It's an endless cycle. All you can do is watch until they wake up because most of the time they don't listen to advice.
  9. lexinonomous

    lexinonomous Community Champion

    I hate to reference my local radio station, but they have a pretty well-known segment called "love line." They have discussed love addiction countless times and from what I've gathered, it's a very real thing. There are some people in this world that feel the need to be loved regardless of where they are in life. A close friend of mine is this way. She puts off all of her goals and focuses only on finding a relationship. This in turn ruins her relationships and she moves onto the next person. She always has a new person in her life and they are always the love of her life. I would say she has love addiction.
  10. BrandonA

    BrandonA Active Contributor

    I wouldn't call it "love". Love is a healthy thing. We're all meant to seek it out. Where it becomes a problem is codependency, where its presence in one's life takes the place of something else, a self-generated esteem and efficacy. As much as we don't want to be alone, we should still be able to function alone when the situation dictates.
  11. thekennie

    thekennie Member

    I one-hundred percent believe this true. I know they say your first love is always going to important in your life, especially girls for some reason? But I'm currently with my first love and we've had plenty of problems in the past, we've been with other people after splitting up and it just wasn't the same. I've cried so much over him, it's nearly unhealthy and I'm sure any professional would say so but it's not up to them on who I can and cannot be without.
  12. djolem

    djolem Senior Contributor

    I believe we get addicted to love but not in general. Addiction is more to that person and i think it is half chemistry half your reason and your need and will to see her or him. Emotions, as we call them are mix of chemical processes that activate some glands that are responsible for our sadness and all pictures we see in our heads.
  13. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

  14. iga

    iga Member

    I think it stems from self esteem issues. The constant fear and worry that you're not good enough so you feel the need to seek re-assurance, you need someone there to make you feel complete. I have troubles with getting clingy and falling very easily, and imbibing in illicit substances only make it worse.
  15. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Well that explanation makes sense, because when we're in love we just feel so happy and it makes us feel "high" as well. I think being addicted to it is indeed possible, but I think in normal cases most people just want to feel loved and taken care of and they want some human attention, so that's the main reason why they want to be in a relationship.
  16. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    I also think it is a self-esteem thing. They need to have somebody around them all the time to make them feel loved or happy. They don't know how to be happy by themselves. They need to learn to love themselves and to be comfortable alone. Being in a relationship will be good at first but you still won't be happy.
  17. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Its pretty normal to want to be in a relationship. Society tries to make it into a bad thing or that we don't need each other. Having a relationship and someone to share your life with is really natural. If it wasn't no one would be alive. Procreation is the only way any species survives. Depression is a whole other issue in it self. Loosing a partner when breaking up of course causes depression or loss of vitality.
  18. bleblanc10

    bleblanc10 Senior Contributor

    This one has always been a little "out there" for me but I guess I wouldn't know it's real unless I had it.
  19. danjon

    danjon Senior Contributor

    You can definitely get caught in a spiral of co-dependency which if detrimental to your overall well-being can be a pretty serious thing.

    As for it being an "addiction", that'd really depend on your definition of the word, but I suppose for many purposes it very well might be.....
  20. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    How do you know that you are not loved either by your friends or by your family members? Can that be the fear of being neglected. If you are a teenager, then you may feel to spend time with the opposite sex, that is not an addiction. If you are neglected by your family members then there must be a reason which you must find out.