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Addiction to a person.

Discussion in 'Other Substances' started by Adrianna, Jan 3, 2015.

  1. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Dealing with addiction to another person. They have had a relationship with a toxic personality. A toxic person tends to be the one who can't let go. They make the relationship difficult to be in and when you break it off they don't want to let go.
  2. kita

    kita Member

    I am not quite sure if one can get addicted to a person. I think the problem there is not addiction, but rather one giving away ones independence. How can I live without him/her? Hello! You were alive and well before him/her.
  3. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    It was like describing those who are obsessed to someone, could be to a lover or to his favorite actor/actress.
    I have not met anyone yet with this kind of addiction.
  4. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Actually there is such a thing. They call it codependency relationship.
  5. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Oh you know what it has something to do with one person needing another to give them their self worth. Like they are worthless without them. Hence obsession. I guess if someone needs another person so badly for their own self worth they themselves are toxic because there is nothing healthy about this kind of behavior.
  6. Michelle

    Michelle Member

    I think they also call it puppy love, and all teenagers go through it, but generally get out of it before too long.

    But I just saw this guy on Ted Talks a couple of weeks ago talking about something that made me realize that one can be addicted to a person. Or think it's a person, when it's actually a chemical. The speaker didn't talk about this possibility, but because I'm an addict, I put it together.

    Here's the thing:

    Love, or the thought of love, releases a chemical called oxytocin into your body. It's the hormone that makes us feel giddy around a new guy or girl, the hormone that stimulates bonding between a baby and its mother, well-being, quality sleep, trust and friendships.

    Now, having been addicted to numerous chemicals -- including alcohol, drugs, and adrenaline -- I imagine that it is possible (and probably not uncommon) to be addicted to a person.
  7. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I agree this is very possible, but like any addiction it really has more to do with the personal psychology of each person rather than the external forces which in this case is the other person. Often people who have this syndrome have a need for negativity around them and cannot get the same satisfaction in something more "regular".
  8. Sparkster

    Sparkster Community Champion

    This can go either way. In most cases, and I emphasize the word most, the person who so badly needs, depends and relies on the other person so much and cannot bear to be without them (i.e. the person who is addicted) is very rarely the toxic person, it's usually the other way round and their dependency is often the result of being manipulated into the situation and being controlled throughout the relationship - they have become dependent on the other person to live a normal life. However, this is not always the case. I should also point out that there is such a thing as Dependent Personality Disorder. If it's the other way round, and the 'addicted' person is the toxic one in the relationship, then it's likely that they were already a co-dependent or a co-narcissist before the relationship started - that would mean that they actively sought to be in such a relationship in the first place (inverted narcissism) but this is very very rare.
  9. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Never heard of any such thing. co inverted, blah blah. Sorry but I don't buy it. I'm sorry if someone can't let go and grow up they are the toxic one. Some people think they are happy and they are. But when they make another person unhappy. If you know the theory on narcissism they are the cause of everyone else's ailments and unhappiness. I don't believe in narcissism at all. I believe in a whole other theory. People that are self centered, and if we look around there are tons of people like this. It is not a disease or a disorder. They are this way because they are bogged down with tons of traumas, reactions, and irrational thoughts that cloud their minds. Cloud their minds right into their self centeredness. No one is to blame. It is the result of circumstance. Living in the past.
    I guess my original point was that a person that can't let go is toxic. They can't let go of the past and can't deal with the present. They are toxic because they have become so intoxicated and enamored that they don't let go. One is happy in the relationship but the other is not. They leave and the other is so addicted that when that person breaks it off. They can't. Sometimes loss after loss makes this harder to deal with. The best thing to do is to let that person go. The saying, "If you love someone, set them free....." I mean you want to express yourself, but respect their wishes.
    How self centered is it that when someone has said its over and the other person can't hear that? They don't want to let that person do what will make them happy. Maybe that person feels that there is something better for them. It certainly is not the other's decision to make for them.
  10. Sparkster

    Sparkster Community Champion

    In that case you are deluded and are admitting that you are deluded. EVERYONE on the planet has narcissism - it's a perfectly natural human trait present in everybody that exists and that is a well-known fact. The fact that you refuse to acknowledge it is ridiculous and shows a serious lack of education - without narcissism nobody would ever be able to defend themselves or look after themselves properly. But it can become malignant. I suppose you don't believe in Schizophrenia either, or Depression? This smells to me an awful lot like you are trying to twist a situation or get a point across to someone who may be reading this thread or trying to manipulate someone - and that would mean that YOU are a toxic person (a narcissist perhaps? It sure seems like it considering that NPD is all about denial and repression). You have made it very clear in your post that you have some serious issues and I hope you get help with them. If you do happen to go on to be abused by a narcissist (that is, if you are not one), like many people on the planet have (including me), just make sure you remember that it was you that asked but ended up throwing it back in my face - extremely childish and pathetic behaviour, if I do say so myself.
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2015
  11. valiantx

    valiantx Community Champion

    Codependency imply there is two people that depend on each other, regardless if one is oppressive and the other is submissive. Relationships are not one sided, it is resulted from two individuals or more, who believe their is a benefit to interacting with each other. All these fancy psychological and psychiatric terms are over-simplifications of complicated situations and relations, using a few words here and there will not be explanatory to understand the whole problem between two or more people.

    Yes there are malignant people that will come and be in one's life, but it is up to one to decide to let her/him go even if it may cause harm, injure, or wrong to one or the other individual. A lot of humans assume a mindset to solve every problem he/she faces in life, which is the most self-defeating thing to believe and do - letting go of non-beneficial things or entities, is the hardest but the best thing that will happen to a human, regardless if she/he does not understand it at the time it is done. If there is a rock in the way of the emerging stream, water will bypass it to continue its flow, never hesitating to make the decision at all.
  12. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Oh I am sure it is not hard to get rid of a self-defeating negative situations. It is not always that one is suppressive and the other is submissive. The suppressive has the tendency to continue to do things that are wrong. They don't know the difference and they generally don't know when to quit. What I wonder is if there is a cure for them. Submissive doesn't even fit the scenario. A suppressive or anti-social seeks out their victims and takes advantage of anyone they can. Right, wrong, and any kind of fairness do not fit in their vocabulary. Essentially they are mentally caught in some childhood trauma behaving spitefully because, neither Mom nor Dad taught them the difference between right and wrong. So anything goes and that is sad. Perhaps there are some in the room, Lol. Good luck.