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Addiction to cleaning?

Discussion in 'Other Substances' started by Theonewhoknocks, Aug 3, 2015.

  1. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    I really hope things get better. I think back to 4 years ago, and what I went through, and my heart breaks for you!! If I didn't love him as much as I do, I would have never had the patience to stick it out. She hasn't changed. I'm sure she never will. But at least he sees the reality. I hope your fiance sees the truth, too. I know you wouldn't be with him, with all the grief his family gives you, unless you felt like he was worth it.
  2. Coolkidhere

    Coolkidhere Community Champion

    You really have a great relationship with him! I still have not said anything to my husband about my sharing his mother's antics in here lol. I bet he would want to see what I have posted here. Better keep your laptop away from your MIL then!

    Please please let me know when the page is up. Who knows if the group will become viral or something!:)
  3. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    I hope so, am so sorry you had to go tru the same :( It's awful. I bet what angered the most was his blindness back then? That is my problem nowadays. Today we had a tough moment again... Yes, i seems I now have to be walking on egg shells... I made an innocent comment that involved his parents and Chinese food, oh yes, he reacted defensive over nothing o_O So... I don't like Cantonese food, I'd not order it on purpose, big deal! I felt so offended, after all I have gone thru and he gets all defensive over nothing? D: That kind of things get to me, to him it might seem small, but to me is not >_<
  4. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    I'm wondering if you're engaged to my husband. lol

    Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I think its because he knows his parents are wrong, but isn't ready to hear it from you, yet. So, when they have the opportunity to say, "my parents are great", if its relevant or not, he will. hats how it was with mine. for the first several years.I became really good at the pouty face. When he would ask what was wrong I would say something like "I don't understand why they hate me so much. What can I do to fix it?" For me, it kept me innocent because he thought they were hurting my feelings instead of thinking I was being a b**** and looking for reasons to be mad. I know it sounds like manipulation, but when you are up against evil, you sometimes have to get your hands dirty.

    I'm not really a manipulative person. But when someone tells my husband a lie about me making secret phone calls or some other nonsense, I have to fight back the best way I can. Also, try to do things for them when you get a chance. Nothing real big, because it'llo look like you are apologizing for being wrong or something. But just a little something. Make them dinner or pick something up at the store that you think they'll like. Either, they will ease up and start being nicer, or your fiance will see you trying to get along, and them being mean about it.
  5. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    *Sigh* That sounds so hard, I TRULY dislike those people, but Jesus, I hope I dislike them less when I am there! I'll try what you said, I want to look after all, but sometimes I just think: F*ck this! I just hope he stops getting defensive, I am going to put my best face... I won't over do it though, because as you said, I don't want them to think I am apologizing for something. But god, I know it sounds awful... but it's so hard to be nice to people who have been so horrible to you... I can almost hear my MIL's insidious remarks... Last Christmas we could hear my MIL and SIL making fun of me thru the baby monitor. This might be one of the hardest tests ever... no kidding!

    Lol, yes, our guys sound so similar! Specially the ex part (ugh), in the past if I mentioned anything remotely linked to an ex he reacted like a kid with a very ugly tantrum. Men >_< And yes, he is always talking about his ''wonderful'' family. About how his sister gave him 70 whopping euros weeks after her husband got a lot cash by selling his transfer site. Sometimes I am like... is this guy for real? Even my mom thinks he exaggerates.

    But seriously, thanks. I'll try so hard to do this and be more civil than them ;)
  6. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    When you are having trouble smiling at them, think about how much (and how often) you love their son. Thats gotten me through a lot of BS!
  7. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Ok, now that is one very good point. I will have that in mind next time I see them, but I bet you is going to be so awkward for me after all this time. But yes, I'll focus on that, after all it's their son :) I was actually thinking about that last night.
  8. LilAnn

    LilAnn Community Champion

    My husband used to defend me when his mom would talk about me when I wasn't around. But then if I was around, and his mom started in on me, he wouldn't step up. I hated it! Because if I said anything back he would get mad at me. And now he will bring that up when she starts to try to talk about me. I guess it all paid off in the end.
  9. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    I'm glad it all has worked great for you, I think you got it all sorted out yourself so nicely :) I honestly don't know what I will do when that woman starts with her insidious comments. I guess I should just bite my tongue? But also she is dutch, and I have been told if you don't stand for yourself they will start doing this kind of thing more often and out in public :S No idea what to do!
  10. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder. It's a good one to have, I think as long as it doesn't affect other aspects of life. I personally don't think of it as a disorder. I think some people do and certainly psychology says it is a disorder. If you are rational about it. Like you don't yell at other people or in force you preference on them in. Lead by example. Some people break out into a rash if things are dirty or out of order. I love things to be orderly and clean. I'd like someone else to do it for me. I clean every so often, not continuously. If I have someone cleaning the whole place like I pay them. This is better for me because it will get done. Some people are obsessive because they can't stand how messy other people are and it makes them want to be cleaner. Things perfectly in place.
    Whatever makes you happy.
  11. ZXD22

    ZXD22 Senior Contributor

    I think my mom is addicted to cleaning around the house. My mom would always clean every single day all around, usually lasting for around 4-5 hours a day! She is retired so I guess she has plenty of free time but not sure why she loves to clean a lot. Maybe she would do well as a cleaning maid lol.
    Coolkidhere likes this.
  12. Nergaahl

    Nergaahl Community Champion

    I am exactly the opposite! My room is always a mess, and no matter how much I want and try to keep it clean, I just can't. But that's mostly because I am really lazy and so dedicated to my passions that I don't have time for anything else anymore.

    You should be a bit worried about it, as it alters your natural behavior, and it could be a sign of OCD. Just take it easy and stop being so stresses all the time.
  13. SLTE

    SLTE Community Champion

    I'm like this to a degree as well. I'm not fastidious to an extreme, and I'm willing to live in a house where there's a bit of a lived-in quality, but I can't stand when there's an overt amount of disarray. My mood seems to be linked with how messy my apartment is becoming, and past a certain point I just have to start tidying up. My wife can probably attest to how grumpy I get when I haven't had a chance to clean in a while... or if she's caused a mess and hasn't cleaned up after herself.

    That said, I wouldn't call it an addiction. But I'm sure an addiction to cleaning can exist, probably as a symptom of some other disorder of the mind.
  14. Coolkidhere

    Coolkidhere Community Champion

    I think moms, mostly, have this tendency to be clean freaks. As a mom myself, I am very keen on keeping the house, especially the room where my baby sleeps, clean. I get annoyed by every little hair and dirt that I see lol. My mother is also very clean in the house. Once a month, she has a general cleaning, where she cleans every space possible even cabinets and under the beds. This other aunt of mine is also very clean on the house. I love going to their house because it is very organised and neat.