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Advice

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by pingufan, Jul 17, 2015.

  1. pingufan

    pingufan Member

    Hi, a housemate of mine was ingesting a large amount of MDMA/Ecstacy at home. All seemed well so I left him alone and went out for the night as I had previously planned.
    All was not well and my friend ended up jumping out of the window and ended up getting sectioned. I couldn't help but blame myself for this.

    I was wondering if anyone had any advice for coping with this kind of thing happening.

    Thankyou.
  2. KNH

    KNH Active Contributor

    I know it's hard, but you need to realize it isn't your fault. You didn't tell your friend to do the drugs and you didn't encourage him to continue them. It sounds like you are a caring person and would have stayed if you thought he was in danger, but he seemed fine so you did the logical thing and kept your plans. Don't beat yourself up about it - it wasn't your fault at all. Sorry about your friend though!
  3. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Four years ago, a friend of mine came to visit me. My day hadn't been too good and seeing that he was drunk I asked him to leave. He committed suicide later that night. Had I known he wanted to talk to someone I'd have been more polite and who knows maybe he wouldn't have committed suicide.

    I blamed myself for a while but when I came to learn that he'd been planning this [to commit suicide] for a while I realized that my advice may not have been of much value to him.

    These things happen and you shouldn't blame yourself when something bad happens. At least you've learned something from all this. Next time you'll be on the look out for signs that would indicate someone needs help.
  4. pingufan

    pingufan Member

    It's good to know that people out there can easily empathise with my current situation. I appreciate all the help I have received so far.
    What I have learned and been taught by other friends that there is no use dwelling on the past, what could have been changed or done differently. We just have to make sure we're there for them the addict is attempting to return to sobriety and needs a friend to turn to.
  5. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    Like what others had said in this post do not blame yourself to what had happened with your housemate. In the first place it was really not your fault leaving your friend in that kind of situation. As a friend you can still care for your friend and give support to the best that you can.