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Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by ozy_comfy, Nov 13, 2018.

  1. ozy_comfy

    ozy_comfy Member

    Hello hi,
    Never thought I'd find myself in this type of chatroom, but then I'd bet that about most of the people here feel that way. I have read through some of the stories and the people here (addicts, recovering, everyone else) are truly inspirational and fighting such a good fight. Such an unimaginably difficult fight. I'm really inspired, thank you for sharing your stories, it gave me the strength to post this today. I am here because I am concerned about a loved one. I am pretty sure he is addicted to a medication (or medications) and I don't know how to start to get him help. His behavior has become increasingly erratic, he is prone to angry outbursts, emotional abuse (of others), impulsive behavior, insomnia, I could keep going. Anyway, he doesn't think he has a problem. I think we need to do an intervention but I'm not sure? How do I know when it's time? When do I involve my other family members? I don't want to be too rash but I'm so, so afraid that we are losing the real him to these drugs that I don't want to wait too long. Another one of my family members said that she would start taking steps to intervene but I really don't think she will. She's been living with it for so long, she'd rather not rock the boat. I don't want to usurp her either! I just know I need to do something but I don't know what!! Has anyone here been in a similar position? Any advice, or sharing of your own experiences would be very much appreciated. Thank you so much!
    deanokat, Dominica and True concern like this.
  2. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    This one really hits home for me and here is why!!You see the writing on the wall,if you think the family member needs an INTERVENTION then you are CORRECT don't wait.I waited for my own intervention, just to know my family loved me,to give me a reason to fight for my life.......I NEVER GOT ONE!!! And this is what I went through while I waited.

    This is my story of addiction.I was born in the early 80's at the age of six year's old i was diagnosed with that time there was a new F.D.A.approved drug by the name of Ritalin.At first it seemed to be a miracle pill,I was on this pill until the age of 18 at that time i decided i was no longer going to take this pill and it began just under a year passed and someone said "Have you ever tried crystal"which i had not at that time but i tried it and instantly noticed that it was 100% the same effect i got from Ritalin only difference was it lasted longer,or seemed to but honestly it was probably the quantity i was doing was greater than that of Ritalin i struggled with meth on and off for roughly 20 year's,not only meth but i was as well consuming 750ml of Jack Daniel's a day plus a 12 pack of beer.For those who don't know when you mix the two you don't appear to get drunk which is very deadly because infact you do get drunk however you don't realise it until it's too late meaning alcohol poisoning.I experienced this a few times and actually died on a hospital bed due to this fact,it took 3 hits with a defibrillator to restart my heart and i was told the only reason I was hit 3 times was because i was only 19 year's old,but usually after the second time if your heart doesn't restart you are then pronounced dead,but a nurse pleaded with the try one more time and he did and my heart started back up.I didn't know at the time but that nurse was actually the mother of the lead singer of Sublime who just lost her son to a heroin overdose.I am forever grateful for that nurse without her plea i would be another statistic.Unfortunately I didn't quite using drug's at that time i just traded substances.I started abusing pain pills heavily and increased that addiction to catastrophic proportions,it got so bad i started injecting heroin which i quickly traded for oxycontin because it was much stronger than heroin.I abused fentanyl as well but nothing compared to the oxycontin.At my worst i was injecting 240-320mg's of oxycontin a day,feeling i wouldn't survive another month i decided to seek help.I'm poor and i come from poor parent's so my options were limited,i ended up at a methadone clinic for help slowly decreasing my extremely high tolerance.At the clinic i had an interview with a drug addiction counselor and an addiction physician,i was hoping for good news but what i heard shock me to my core.I was told by both the same thing,"Sir we are sorry to tell you but your addiction and tolerance is beyond the point of return,whether you quit or continue either way you cannot survive you have if your lucky a month to live"My heart sank and i decided at that moment if i was going to die i would die trying.I went home and prayed and then i called my wife into the room to tell her the news.At that moment i apologized to her told her how much she meant to me and made her promise if i didn't make it she would move on re marry and live a happy life and she noded yes.After that i quite cold turkey and suffered pain and sickness i cannot describe,for 27 straight day's i did not leave the bedroom,i did not eat,i did not sleep,i hallucinated,i screamed in intense unimaginable pain,i lost over 50 pound's in that time frame and had to be rushed to the hospital 3 time's where they would rehydrate me and try to give me pain shots to stall the detox which i refused.On day 28 I took my first steps after i quite and by the grace of God i survived and this May im married 18 year's to my beautiful wife and guardian angel.This is the first time I've shared my story of addiction and i did it for one reason alone,i want everyone to know i understand what you are going through and no matter how bad it gets there is hope.I'm here for each and everyone of you,if you ever need someone to talk to,if you ever feel no one understands im all ears and i do understand.Stay Strong We're rooting for you
    deanokat and ozy_comfy like this.
  3. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener


    Hello there and welcome. I'm glad that you have gotten some good things out of reading some threads in this forum. It does sound like your loved one is struggling with addiction. I know that can be incredibly challenging for loved ones. The role of a loved one when it comes to addiction isn't easy to Define. It's tough to know exactly how to best support them. There is definitely a learning curve involved.

    It's tough to know exactly when to do an intervention. I'm not that familiar with them and I've heard various reports about them. When you sit down and have a real heart-to-heart with this person, are they in complete denial? Do they admit any addiction at all?

    Regarding one of my own loved ones excess drinking, i've had various heart-to-hearts and given resources and advice for what their options are, but the reality is that they just won't make the effort until they're ready. Often times it's when their addiction causes them rather hefty negative consequences that gets them thinking "oh wow wait a minute. maybe I have a problem. Maybe I need to rethink this." Some call that the rock bottom, but not everyone has to get to Rock Bottom before they'll begin making changes for the better.

    I've had to lovingly detach and that's not easy. It's not easy to watch someone self medicate and hurt themselves. In fact it's pretty heart-wrenching, but to keep our sanity, we've got to learn how we can best support them and take care of ourselves at the same time. It's pretty easy to get addicted to someone else's addiction or behaviors.

    I'm going to give you a link to a 20 minute guide that help me understand my role better when it comes to a loved one's addiction. It's a good start.

    And know that we're here any time for you.
    ozy_comfy and True concern like this.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @ozy_comfy... Welcome to the community and thanks for sharing. I'm sorry to hear about your loved one, but I'm glad you found us and reached out.

    @True concern and @Dominica have given you some great advice and insight (definitely check out that link Dominica provided. It's a great resource!). I also want to recommend a terrific book to you. It's called Love First: A Family's Guide to Intervention. If you're thinking of doing an intervention for your loved one, this book will be invaluable to you.

    As you deal with all of this, just remember what Al-Anon and Nar-Anon teach us about a loved one's addiction:

    You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it.

    Be careful not to get too caught up in your loved one's issues. Yes, be supportive. But don't let their problem start affecting your life in a negative way. I know that's easier said than done, but it's very important not to get addicted to their addiction.

    We're here for you. Always. If you need to ask questions or just need to vent, you can come here anytime.

    Sending you love, light, and hope. And praying for your family member, too.
    ozy_comfy and True concern like this.
  5. ozy_comfy

    ozy_comfy Member

    You guys are amazing. Can't tell you how much all that information and support means. I really appreciate it. Thank you.
    True concern and deanokat like this.
  6. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    You're very welcome, @ozy_comfy. We are here for you, my friend. You don't have to go through this alone.
    ozy_comfy and True concern like this.