It was a long weekend here so he has been drunk since Friday night and he is still drunk and by the end of the evening it will be worse. I got to thinking what somebody said on my last post, perhaps she was right. Perhaps I don't love him enough because I enable him. He has his own money, he buys beer and fireball if I told him not too he would freak. Deep down I guess I fear him. I don't want to upset him but he gets upset anyway. I don't know what to do anymore. I am tired of crying, I'm tired of hurting, I'm tired of my life and being me. I wish I could just crawl under a rock and never have to come out. How can I love him if I enable him? I guess I don't love him or care about him at all. I have failed him when all I ever wanted to do was help him. Perhaps his life would be better off without me in it. I definitely don't bring out the best in him.