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Discussion in '12-Step Support Groups' started by thedino89, Feb 12, 2015.

  1. thedino89

    thedino89 Member

    I am currently in the process, or perhaps more accurately, avoiding being in the process of handling the Fentanyl addiction my brother has. He has been out of in-patient rehab for some time and seems to be making slow steps forward in regaining my family's trust and relationships. I, myself, have been struggling with letting him try to make amends to me. I am a horrible mess anytime I think about him and his addiction. My family attends Al-Anon and tells me it is a good resource to help cope, yet I can not find myself to go. Can anyone give me a reason to go that has experience? Or, perhaps some other outlet to help myself heal?
  2. olb1213

    olb1213 Member

    If you can bring yourself to check out a meeting, Al-Anon can be an amazing resource for you as a loved one of someone with addiction issues. Being surrounded by others who are in your situation can be extremely comforting and help you feel not so alone! Even if it's not at an Al-Anon meeting, I think it is really, really important to have someone you can talk to who is outside the situation. A friend to listen to you vent and offer comfort and understand is one of the best ways to help in your journey towards healing.
  3. Jane

    Jane Active Contributor

    ^ I second much of what Olb said. Keep in mind that if you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to either. You can simply go and listen, so no pressure there.

    My main reason for why you should go is: Why not? What have you got to lose? If you hate it, then you don't go again. But who may benefit. :)
  4. medievalmama

    medievalmama Community Listener Community Listener

    Al-Anon offers so much more that just like-minded people. If you are like I was, your whole life and thinking is centered around the one who is drinking/using. When people asked me how I was, I would answer how HE was doing. I was so tangled up, I had lost who I was. Al-Anon can help you find happiness, regardless of what the addict/alcoholic is doing. Here's the link to Al-Anon's main website, the section for newcomers. There is no obligation. Maybe find a friend to go with you? You can even find on-line meetings. Everyone is welcome to attend.
  5. aimeep80

    aimeep80 Senior Contributor

    I wish I could attend alanon meetings. I can not drive and have severe anxiety so I would be afraid to go even if someone offered to take me. I know there are online meetings because I have attended a couple in the past. I hear very positive things about alanon and I hope you decide to attend a meeting.
  6. Jane

    Jane Active Contributor

    How were the online meetings? I have wanted to try them out before but just haven't yet. Do you have any specific ones to recommend?
    aimeep80 likes this.
  7. aimeep80

    aimeep80 Senior Contributor

    They were really good. Very informative and supportive. I don't actually remember the website that I used as that has been 4 years ago. Since my husband has relapsed on alcohol, I believe I am going to search again and attend them. They also have telephone meetings but to me those got a bit confusing. The online meeting was a chat room setting but I think they allowed talking through your computers microphone as well.
  8. Steve Dawson

    Steve Dawson Community Champion

    AA meetings are geared around supporting addicts and people affected by addiction. You would probably find it highly beneficial to go, you will gain valuable insights about his addiction from other relatives and other addicts, without having any conflicted feelings yourself. This will leave you more able to make a rational decision about how you want to relate to your brother in the future. If you really don't feel that you're gaining anything from it, then you will have lost nothing. Give it a go and it will at least help ease the burden on your shoulders a little.
  9. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    You should go to a meeting, you don't have to go to the front and talk to everyone if you don't want to, you just can go there and see how it is. If you like it there then you can keep going, and when you finally feel like going to the front and talk about this, then you can do it. No one is going to press you at all, the environment in that kind of places is very calm and relaxed a lot respect for you and your relative. Don't be afraid :)