An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the DrugAbuse.com Forums?Join or

Alcohol as a social thing

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by kassie1234, Apr 10, 2016.

  1. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    I was thinking more about this, after I got an email invitation to a spouse get together for my husband's work. One of the spouses proposed a night to do a wine tasting - now I know for a lot of people that's not a problem, but for a recovered alcoholic going to something like that is about the last social activity I want to do.

    How do those of you in the same sort of situation handle this? It's not like it's a "go out and get wasted" invitation, it seems to be billed as a classy, elegant affair - but still, I don't want to drink. These spouses don't know about my past, either (they're acquaintances rather than friends) so quite honestly I'm thinking about just saying I can't make it.

    It's just hard to me when people think alcohol is used as a social thing like this - it's one thing going out for a meal and simply saying "I'm not drinking, thanks!" but when the actual activity is centered around alcohol it makes it tough.
    LoveEcho likes this.
  2. LoveEcho

    LoveEcho Community Champion

    Personally, I would have to skip it. But, if you think you can overcome the urge and spit the wine out like you're supposed to do... then do what you can do. I would end up drinking it, but I know me... I know I'm not strong enough.
    kassie1234 likes this.
  3. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    @LoveEcho that's pretty much how I feel about it - honestly, I don't even want the taste of it in my mouth, even if I was to spit it out. It just sucks that I'll have to make some lame excuse as to why I can't make it...but ultimately it's better than the alternative!
    LoveEcho likes this.
  4. LoveEcho

    LoveEcho Community Champion

    I know how you feel! I've had to make plenty of those lame excuses myself, as I too have hid my past from many of my close friends for fear of judgement or people acting strange around me. Best of luck! Hopefully, the next social event won't be centered around alcohol! I know the only parties I'm totally comfortable at are baby showers because of the complete lack of booze!
  5. Jack Wallace

    Jack Wallace Senior Contributor

    Sосiаl drinking is tоlеrаtеd in mаny сulturеs аrоund thе wоrld. It is ассеptеd аs а lеgitimаtе wаy tо сеlеbrаtе spесiаl оссаsiоns оr just tо rеlаx аftеr а hаrd dаy аt wоrk. Drinking in mоdеrаtiоn tеnds tо bе viеwеd аs а hаrmlеss асtivity. It is оnly thоsе whо аrе hаbituаlly intоxiсаtеd whо gеt judgеd аs еngаging in dаngеrоus bеhаviоr. In rеаlity thеrе is nо lеvеl оf аlсоhоl usе thаt саn bе соnsidеrеd соmplеtеly risk frее
  6. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @kassie1234... I would skip the event and not think twice about it. And I don't think you need to make a lame excuse, either. Just tell them you have a conflict and can't make it. They don't have to know that your conflict is that they're having a wine tasting and you don't drink. :)
    kassie1234 likes this.
  7. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Well I guess you made the right choice by refusing to take part in the event. Since it's an activity that makes drinking alcohol impliedly mandatory, and seeing what you had to go through to be where you are now, avoidance was the best possible choice for you. The organizers of that event won't take it to heart, I believe. Besides, there's always a next time particularly for other less alcohol-centered activities.
  8. tackykardia

    tackykardia Member

    I just would't go to it. You don't have to go to any events you are not comfortable with. If alcohol is going to be the main focus, just skip it. Just go to other events that aren't about drinking. I don't go out much anymore for the same reason. I don't want to be around it or involved in activities or places that are mostly about drinking.
  9. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    Good point - I have to not let it get to me so much! I think I'm just sensitive also to it because I always think "how many people just go to these things because they feel peer pressure to do it?" because I was at one point the person who was the sheep that just followed my peers.
  10. FenWoFon

    FenWoFon Active Contributor

    If I were you I would definitely say the truth and reject the drink, however I dont really know why it would bother you, you can say that you're working out hard and you can not drink that is it, say itand you're out of any trouble if that isthe way you see it.
  11. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    Well, it bothers me because I'm a former alcoholic - and I hate that events that are focused on drinking are seen as "social" events. It just makes me sad that a lot of the time people get caught up in the idea that drinking is "social" and "fun" when those of us who have battled addiction know that it's not those things - that it has the potential to ruin lives. So that's why. Sorry if I sound defensive (I probably am!) but I really wish there wasn't so much of an emphasis on the idea that alcohol is the prime way to have fun for people.
  12. henry

    henry Community Champion

    Just don't accept the invitation if you think it's going to harm you. If you feel embarrassed and don't want to let them know the reason, just make up some excuse. I know some situations in life are unavoidable, but some are, and this is one of them.
  13. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    You have to think about doing what's best for you. If you are a recovering alcoholic you shouldn't go. You can simply tell them you don't drink. Everyone has there own preferences and that's okay. Just stick to your decision not to drink.
  14. explorerx7

    explorerx7 Senior Contributor

    I don't think you should take up that offer. The event would probably a lovely affair, however tasting that wine may tempt you to get back to a place that you have given up and wish not to return to, so for safety sake, I think you should find a way to politely decline the invitation.
  15. Nancy D.

    Nancy D. Senior Contributor

    It is really easy to get sucked into drinking casually with friends. There are many people who fall for this and end up in bad situations. I say you should maybe choose a different route and leave this behavior alone. Never compromise the steps you have already taken in the right direction.
  16. peetbernadis

    peetbernadis Active Contributor

    Best to be true to yourself and be happy and contend than to be true to other people and be unhappy and miserable for the rest of your life. Nobody knows yourself better than you yourself.
  17. FenWoFon

    FenWoFon Active Contributor

    Well if that is the case then you're right but you should somehow try not to get bothered by it, you have your path and you decided to fix it, let other people have theirs and decide what to do with it.
  18. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Right that better to skip that event. So that you will not be worried that you might relapse and that you do not need to be in a complicated situation again. I think they will not take it against you if you would say No to the invitation.
  19. peetbernadis

    peetbernadis Active Contributor

    I can definitely testify to the fact that you do not need alcohol to enjoy yourself. Taking a drink on the go for pleasure and enjoyment is fine, but people who drinks because its the only way of enjoying themselves is a definite NO! I would rather say that people who sit around a bottle or more for hours on end are wasting precious time. I found that out after I stopped drinking... how much I could have done with the time I spent drinking; almost every weekend! Eish, we would say here in South Africa.
  20. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    If it was me I'd say I can't make it, I mean, if I didn't really want to go to a social gathering of any kind... I'd just make up a excuse ;) I have no problems with drinking though, but I only do it once or twice every two years. I'd not be sure about a wine tasting outing though... that does sound like a l drinks, to the point of getting drunk. So better not to risk it.