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Alcohol as a way to cope

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by maryannballeras, Nov 25, 2014.

  1. maryannballeras

    maryannballeras Senior Contributor

    I've been commenting on posts on this website for quite a while now, but I really haven't talked about my own situation. I though that it might look petty to some. But so far, I've grown quite comfortable here. So, this is my story.

    I came from a really bad breakup and I was so attached to this man that when we separated, I was left with nothing. I felt like I was nothing and I spent all my days crying, down and depressed. I started resorting to alcohol as a way to cope. I would drink everyday and go home at around 3am or 4am, barely able to walk straight. There was even a time that I almost passed out just outside of our house. It scared my mom every time considering that I'm a girl and I behave this way. But for me, I like the feeling that being drunk gives me. I used it as an escape.

    I haven't recovered yet, but the drinking sessions have become less frequent. I just hope that I can feel better in the next few days so that I won't have the resort to drinking anymore.
    rabst likes this.
  2. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    Hi maryannballeras, I'm so sorry about your situation but life has its intrigues and we just have to learn to deal with them.From your story,it's apparent that you don't have kids from your previous relationship so i can just urge you to let go of your past and focus on the future.Take your time and slowly you'll realize that life has a lot of positive things to offer you.
  3. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    Hi maryannballeras. Thanks for sharing your story.

    I do hope you can find it in yourself to stop the drinking whether you feel better or not. While it is true that drowning yourself with alcohol helps you forget the pain, it is a temporary relief that can make you sick and harm you forever.

    You are not defined by this relationship. Only you can make yourself feel nothing. Only you can destroy yourself. So please try your best to get through your situation, difficult as it may seem, in a way that will make you proud of yourself someday.

    I sincerely hope you can find something better to help you cope. Please do. Wishing you all the best!
  4. valiantx

    valiantx Community Champion

    Greetings maryannballeras,

    Your story is tragic, however, I'm glad you are trying to lessen your addiction from excessive ethanol beverage drinking. I've met a few womans in my life that were in a similar situation as you had experience, one of my older sister went through a depression after here divorce, but my simplest advice to them was this,"See your experience as a way to learn, because the past can't be changed, so there is no point in trying to ignore what happened to you - the true problem, is your attitude about your experiences."

    I was pretty darn anger that some of my relatives passed away, a high-school friend I knew was murder, and I was jumped a few times for being me, which caused me to drink heavily for a few years - but I started to reflect on it honestly, and finally understood that my past experiences are not as bad as I had believe and exaggerated, because I still had my family and friends, and I was alive.

    It takes time to heal, but you'll get better maryannballeras, if you wish to be better - it's all on you.
    joe likes this.
  5. Davienna

    Davienna Community Champion

    You will my dear, the fact that you have taken the step towards rehabilitation shows that you want to change. You are unique and beautiful, don't ever allow anyone to determine your self worth. Look at it as his loss and you will soon find someone great to replace him but don't lean on anyone to overcome this as you may get addicted, as they say love on the rebound is a hell of a thing.
  6. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    I think it is already a good thing that the drinking sessions have become less frequent and hope that you can totally get rid of it. You cannot solve a problem with another problem. There could be other ways to get over the sad feeling like spending more time with family and friends that could make you feel better.
  7. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    While alcohol might seem like a temporary solution to cope with the situation, a broken heart takes a long time to heal. Sometimes it can take a lifetime to get over someone you truly loved. You need to stop focusing on what you lost and accept that the man is out of your life and try to move on. Listen to some inspirational music and shed some tears because this will help a little. There's a nice song by Tim McGraw, "We Carry On" which you ought to listen to.
    rabst likes this.
  8. rabst

    rabst Active Contributor

    I personally prefer "Love Stinks" by The J. Geils Band,

    Yes, songs have an oddly therapeutic effect, particularly if YOU'RE the one singing `em! I personally like (and have liked from my childhood) "Everything You Know Is Wrong" by 'Weird' Al Y. I also like (mostly for the high I get from singing like Dr. Jekyll's alt-persona Mr. Hyde) "Dragula" by Rob Zombie, "She Hates Me" by Puddle of Mudd, "Down with a Sickness" by Disturbed & "A Little Help from My Friends" by Joe C.

    And Country-music---there are probably MANY country-songs that describe your exact situation (although most of the songs involving "honkytonks" run on the male perspective, where most of the ladies are "floozies").
    Rainman likes this.
  9. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    It's good that you at least recognize that there is a problem because most people just go into denial and don't even acknowledge it until it's too late. At least seeing it from an early point gives you an advantage of fixing it before it really goes too far to the point of an even more difficult recovery, or worse.thanks for sharing your story, I'm sure it will help a lot of people, including myself. Good luck on your recovery and please do stay strong.
  10. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    Someday you just put the bottle down and never feel that need for drinking again. Trust me, I've been there, alcohol at some point might seem like being the answer, but if you can make it through and get rid of it, facing your own reality, then you shall never become an alcohol addict again.
  11. Nate5

    Nate5 Active Contributor

    Hi maryannballeras, thanks for commenting on this matter. To be honest, I have a drink every now and then that's not for enjoyment, but to cope. It's not often, but I am ashamed that I'm not facing my problems head on. The fact that it's becoming less frequent for you is already a win, in my opinion. Keep yourself busy and motivated, perhaps with a hobby. Personally, I found a much healthier thing to be addicted to: exercise. The adrenaline and endorphin release is a million times better than alcohol, and way cheaper ;)
  12. c9h2ua

    c9h2ua Member

    Many people said alcohol can relieve their pain and sadness. I think that's true because you will become unconscious and forget about what happened to you. However, that's not the best way to solve problem. You have to know more about where your pain and sorrow come from, then try to seek a solution to cope with those problems!!
  13. LifeM1

    LifeM1 Member

    Alcohol is a short term solution for very bad problems. However, I can't deny that sometimes all someone needs is a short term solution. I've had deaths in my family that caused me to turn to alcohol for relief. Drinking to their memory and the like. I... Never got addicted. I was able to emotionally cope after the initial shock and didn't have to turn to hard liquor a second time after that. Still, I can't really defend alcohol as a good solution to feeling better. It really isn't. At best, it's an okay solution to a short term solution and at worst something that will get you killed.
  14. joe

    joe Active Contributor

    I also believe that you will soon stop and live a normal life. Anyway am sorry for what happened to you. Life will always continue, alcohol has never been a good friend. Taking alcohol is like hiding a wound and pretending you do not have one. It's good you are improving. All the best as you stop taking alcohol completely.
  15. joe

    joe Active Contributor

    Yes, this is very true. Letting go and allowing your mind to focus on the future which is much brighter. I hope she will recover soon.
  16. joe

    joe Active Contributor

    Thank you for sharing your bit also and how you overcame. I believe she will focus and let go the past. The past has nothing good in holding, the future is bright and past should not tamper with it.