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Alcohol can make one unable to maintain a family

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by 6up, Feb 25, 2015.

  1. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    I lost my elder brother in 2007, but not from alcohol. It is true that in a way, alcohol affected his life. After college he got married to a beautiful lady. But his relationship with his wife was strained. He drunk till late hours reaching a time that his wife was complaining about it. He promised to change but did not manage to. After two years his wife left. That is when he started drinking heavily to a point of losing his job.
    kjonesm1 likes this.
  2. TripleD123

    TripleD123 Community Champion

    I am sorry for your loss @6up . It sounds like he must of been troubled and suffering from depression as well as alcoholism. Its hard to lose a family member, especially a sibling who had a lot of life left in them. I hope you find peace in talking through his struggles to help find some closure.
  3. JoanMcWench

    JoanMcWench Community Champion

    You didn't mention how you lost your brother. Was it due to complications of alcohol or did you mean you lost him to some disease or mishap completely separate from alcohol? It's tough when someone you love can only manage to make promises they cannot keep. It puts you in a tricky position where you have to take on more than you thought you could.
  4. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Alcohol can wreck a lot of lives in many different ways. I know people who are in that boat now, arguing all the time because they're drinking too much, promising to stop or cut back and then they don't. Its very easy to make promises, with an addiction like alcohol, its very hard to keep them.
  5. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    True that alcohol can destroy families. Sadly to say, there are lots of broken families here because of alcohol. I actually know some of them. usually, the most affected ones are their children.
  6. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I agree with Triple on this one, sounds like he was a bit depressed too. It is typical for people with depression to tip the bottle more than the rest of us because it is an escape from reality for them. It is so sad when a family is torn apart by it. I am sorry that you ended up losing your brother.
    TripleD123 likes this.
  7. juno

    juno Community Champion

    Alcohol although perfectly legal to use, can cause the same demise as any other drug someone can not control their consumption. The worse part is that it slowly poisons your life and you don't even realize when it takes over your life. The thing with alcohol is that it also causes depression, so it is difficult to understand what came first.
  8. Determined2014

    Determined2014 Senior Contributor

    Sorry for your loss, but you are right, alcohol can ruin a family, because of the times spent out there at the bar the money that coulld help the family is being spent out their, eventually it cripple a family, but I do not blame alcohol,, I normaly blame the individual, because if we can learn to control ourselfes then we would not let the alcohol control us.
  9. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    Any substance or addiction if left unchecked can disturb, even end a relationship. I have never encountered a normal relationship where one person in a relationship was an addict. Despair and misery usually follows them around.
  10. rainbowguard

    rainbowguard Senior Contributor

    I am sorry for your loss as well. What happened to him afterwards? I think the bad thing about addictions to substances is how everything will go downhill from that point. It will drag other parts of your life to the point where recovery is very difficult to accomplish. In the end, the only thing that is left for that person is that substance itself. That's why it is important for somebody from the outside to be a trigger of the change of heart. I know that to recover successfully, the motivation needs to be from the person itself, but outside person and family members can help trigger that motivation.
  11. TinVanMan

    TinVanMan Member

    Thanks for sharing this. I know that a huge motivator for me to change my lifestyle was how my wife felt when I drank. I tried to convince her and myself that she was overreacting, but the truth is I was underreacting. I often wonder if she would have left me if I didn't change. I think so.
  12. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    Condolences! It must be hard for you to post this!
    I agree whole-hearthedly that alcohol can damage relationships. Not only family, but relationships with your co-workers and friends can get pretty rocky if you are not aware that you have a drinking problem and not working on fixing it.
  13. Nick Anthony

    Nick Anthony Active Contributor

    Do you mean that you lost the brother you once knew? That tends to happen for anyone who has an addiction to something. They begin to do things they once didn't. I've heard of this one story where this woman was completely afraid of needles, but after a week of using a drug intravenously you would swear she was a Phlebotomist. Drugs change you into a person who rationalizes that drug using is okay.
  14. hellonamesdana

    hellonamesdana Senior Contributor

    My mom was an alcoholic, and I honestly wish she never had my brother and I, because she was never mature enough and able enough to raise us. Neither was my father, even though he wasn't an addict. It came down to the point where I had to grow up incredibly fast when I was in my early teens, and I am still basically the only one who parents my younger brother, and I basically have to parent myself, not that I really need it.
  15. kjonesm1

    kjonesm1 Community Champion

    I've seen first hand how alcohol tears a family up. My ex husband could not hold a job, drank himself to blackouts every night, could not take care of our child when I was at work and was in and out of jail for 7 years. I left him 2 years ago.
  16. vegito12

    vegito12 Community Champion

    It is sad what your brother had to go through and alcohol, should never be drank everyday or to the point of being knocked out and not remembering anything and can effect people and families. It is sad when, one person turns to alcohol and it affects the realationship and it turns bad as this choice breaks the unity of the family in the end. I have seen this happen, even in one true story where a mother paid hitman to end her sons life as he had turned to alchohol and didn't care about anyone else not a solution to the problem it just broke the family apart in the end.
  17. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Maybe your brother's wife just got tired of his broken promises. He always assured her that he would change, but it never happened. Sometimes, no matter how much we love a person, we just need to let them go.
  18. cpinatsi

    cpinatsi Senior Contributor

    Sorry for your loss. Well, unfortunatelly alcohol can destroy lives if not taken seriously and if not dealt accordingly. That is why we should always seek help from professionals if we can't control things on our own.
  19. rightct

    rightct Community Champion

    Unfortunately, in 90% of cases it happens just like you described. But I've also found a rather weird case of a parent which drinks his head off daily but still manages to maintain his family. No, he's not rich, he's quite average to be honest, but he always puts his family on-top and doesn't let his bad habits affect his family financially. But still, he doesn't realize that sustaining a family doesn't rely only on providing money...
  20. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I imagine that he has not hit the point of rock bottom let, which will eventually come if the drinking continues. If his wife does not drink like he does, she will eventually get sick of it and that is when his problems will begin. I hope he finds some help before it is too late.