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Alcohol is by FAR the worst...

Discussion in 'Share Your Detox Experience' started by DubZero, Feb 10, 2017.

  1. DubZero

    DubZero Member

    This is for anyone who may be falling down an alcoholic path, or anyone who already has, and might have something to add...

    WARNING!!!! ALCOHOL IS THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO TO YOURSELF! BE CAREFUL TO LIMIT YOUR CONSUMPTION TO WEEKENDS AND PARTIES ONLY!!!!

    As someone who has avidly subjected himself to any and all kinds of toxic substances that were available throughout his life, I can safely say alcohol is EASILY the worst of them all, for several reasons....

    The biggest problem with alcohol is the fact that it IS legal... and not very expensive...

    It's an enabler... The united States was founded on tobacco and alcohol, making it impossible to outlaw... They tried that once with prohibition and, well that was a bad idea.....

    Anyone 21 years old with 10 bucks a day can literally kill themself with this stuff... Aside from the long-term affects, short-term affects, and side affects, even putting this **** DOWN after prolonged use can be deadly in itself...

    I'm 28 years old, and between the ages of 24-26, I had an alcohol addiction only seen in people in their 40s and 50s who have been consuming hard alcohol in excess of 10 years or more... I think the fact that I was so young when I went thru intoxication, as well as detoxing, is the only reason I'm still alive.

    I had started using alcohol every night as a kind of sleep-aid several years ago when I was using crystal meth every day. (Meth by day, booze by night) to sleep off the meth high... Within a matter of months, the meth had stopped already for various uninteresting reasons, but the alcohol did not... I soon found myself killing an entire gallon handle of vodka by myself in 2-3 nights without even suffering from a hangover... (I got that Irish resistance eh? I really am my mother's son lol) every night coming home from work and just drinking TONS of vodka. Within a short year, I had already developed a pretty nasty physical addiction... Shakiness, dizziness, uncomfortable, sleepless, nauseous... This was when I was NOT drinking... Once I put that first shot in my stomach, I could start to relax, or even focus, or feel BETTER in every way... This is when it became a REAL problem... I started buying the pint size 100-proof bottles of Smirnoff... I would buy 2 of those a day and a pint of some flavorful vodka just because.... The reason I bought the pints? So I could take them with me places, and was less likely to get caught with an open container in my car....

    Yeah, I was drinking an entire pint of 50% alc./vol before and on my way to work at 6am every morning... If I didnt, I couldn't function... I would get bad heart palpitations and sweating and shaking to the point where it scared me... I couldn't do **** until I had some kind of alcohol in my stomach and coating thru my veins. Of course, you can't be an all day drinker every day without people noticing.... Not because of my mannerisms... But simply because they could smell it. Even if I wasn't talking directly to someone, I would literally sweat and fumigate vodka... Luckily it wasn't the reason I lost my job, but still... It was embarrassing and impossible to ignore or argue away....

    Throughout the months of my unemployment, I was the text-book example of why you don't want to become an alcoholic... I didn't have a 5-oclock shadow and a stained shirt... But I had the car that would spill empty bottles out when you opened any of the doors. It was disgusting... But I couldn't stop. Not at my own will at least... To do so would mean certain physical withdraw symptoms even a heavy heroin user couldn't complain about detoxing. I would know because I've detoxed heroin as well...

    I even did the research just to educate myself and gain some insight on what kind of trouble I had gotten myself into with this alcohol addiction... And it scared the **** out of me. I had no idea what I was gonna do, how to quit. I knew I was already passed the point of no return...

    A hangover is the very earliest symptoms of alcohol withdrawal. They say another beer or shot is a great cure for a hangover, because it is. If youve ever experienced a hangover (who hasn't) we all know how NOT fun even just THIS could be... A whole day or two of throwing up and convincing yourself your never gonna drink again is a GREAT indicator to stop.... Once you no longer suffer the hangovers, you're crossing into very dangerous territory. And if you ever get to the point where you feel totally f***ed up when you DON'T drink (like bender from Futurama) then you've gone too far! And I can only wish you good luck...

    Alcohol withdrawals can be deadly. Quitting cold-turkey can be potentially life-threatening, like many perscription drugs, due to the fact that it replaces certain chemical functions in your brain... Therefore your body forgets how to perform these functions on their own, and without the helpful aid of the alcohol, other chemical functions that are taking place in your brain no longer have anything to moderate them, so they spiral out of control. Alcohol mimics the functions of your brain that moderate the release of the chemicals which give you energy, make you happy, nervous, and scared... Like a filter that controls the flow or release of these chemicals in the body... Take the filter away, and the chemicicals that make this part of your nervous system react, flow uncontrollably... Which is what causes the shakiness, dizziness, nervousness, sleeplessness, heart palpitations, etc...

    Well, alcohol isn't quite as powerful or amazing as the natural functions the human body is capable of... It got to the point where it didn't matter HOW much alcohol I consumed (my consumption was literally non-stop by now) eventually the alcohol was no longer able to slow down the release of these nervousness chemicals, and my body was an unstoppable riot of nerves flying way off the handle.

    I developed what I could find to be the worst case of delirium tremens of anyone who survived, according to every case or story I could find of anyone in the world who lived through it. I suffered the phenomenon called formication, which is a "feeling" hallucination (as opposed to the common visual or auditory hallucinations you hear about) I had spiders crawling all over my skin for weeks, maybe a month. I even made frenemies with the leader of them. We developed a love/hate relationship. I went to work this way but luckily I had enough consciousness not to tell anyone but my closest friends about my incessant visit from the transparent spider colony who were making their home all over my entire body (which was real, by the way... Okay one point I could actually see them) and chewing at my scalp at nights to the point where I was in tears, begging them to stop as if they were going to be compliant somehow... and the invisible worms that crawled around in my gloves, painfully biting and sucking my palms while I was at work.... UGH! F***!! I can remember all this like it just happened... So scary... So REAL!!!

    I started having like, mini total blackouts throughout the day... Imagine being conscious one minute, and then all of a sudden, it's 5 minutes later and there's literally NOTHING in-between that time.... Like skips in time. Complete blankness. One minute I would be filling out some paperwork, and then BAM! out of nowhere, the paperwork would be filled out... Ohhh it would be filled out, but NOT with what it should have been (date, time, names, etc) noooooo the entire document would be filled out with ugly demonic-looking scribbles of apparently WHATEVER was going through my brain during those few minutes of blank. 100% random, like when a person talks in their sleep about how Kathryn should NOT have slept the happy yesterday from outside the rust at two weeks purple mist before my hungry was inside-out... it was just nonsense.... I remember talking to a co-worker who asked me a question and when I snapped out of it, I was finishing the word "dungeons" he was cool he quickly turned away and pretended like whatever I said, I didn't just say, like he could tell I wasn't "there" and didn't make a deal about it... This also went on and off for weeks...

    The couple weeklong (real) hallucination of hundreds of spiders crawling all over your body is scary, no doubt. (Which actually turned out to be one really really long mild seizure, apparently) But only to a certain extent when you look at your arm and there's clearly no spider there... But the blackout episodes were the scariest of all... To not KNOW, or remember... Like Alzheimer's... The fear of unknowing really is terrifying...

    For three weeks or so, I should have seeked emergency medical attention and inpatient treatment... These symptoms were life threatening and I think a combination of my young resilience with God's decision that I wasn't done here yet is what kept me alive....

    The symptoms eventually faded away, I really don't know how, but to be honest, I fear it was the gradual increase in my use of heroin at the time which usually curbed my alcohol cravings...

    I still drink to this day. Not every day. Not nearly like THAT. I also don't get drunk. I've gone some days where it's funny how much I drank. Like prank alcohol. Or water. I cleared out my grandmother's entire bar in one night around christmas (about 7 or 8 bottles of different grain alcohols I finished ALL of) and never got the slightest bit tipsy... Lol. I'm literally IMMUNE to alcohol it seems... I could probably die of alcohol poisoning, feeling as sober as a nun....

    This was a real nightmare. The memories of these few weeks still make me feel uneasy... Like someone else's life or something. Completely real but unreal, completely painful and hellish....

    This was my experience with alcohol. And THIS is why I believe alcohol is the worst thing a person could do to themself. (The worst to do, AND the worst to stop doing)
    True concern likes this.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @DubZero... Thanks for sharing your story with us. It's incredibly insightful and I'm sure it will help people who read it. Alcohol is definitely a horrible drug. I'm glad you were able to overcome it.

    Thanks again, my friend.
  3. Cametobelieve0202

    Cametobelieve0202 Community Champion

    That’s an incredible story, I too am almost 28, was an active alcoholic for 10 years. Towards the end I drank a bottle of vodka a day mind you I am a very petite woman (95lbs). I would lose days at time. Doctors also told me they had never seen such a chronic alcoholic at such a young age. They said it usually takes people 30 years to get they’re drinking to the place i was at (I did it in 5). I hated when I had to come out of my drunk so as soon as I was lucid I’d start drinking again. I also think one of the main reasons I was able to survive was because I was so young, I was 23 when I took my last drink. Your story in relation to alcohol and addiction really hit home with me. I hope you are ok. I hope you are sober.
    Dominica likes this.
  4. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @CMMW i'm glad YOU are sober... and sharing your story here with those who will listen.
  5. Cametobelieve0202

    Cametobelieve0202 Community Champion

    Thanks Dominica and right back at you! I’d love to hear your story, what it was like, what happened and what it’s like now :)
    Dominica likes this.