An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

Alcoholic dad and crazy mom

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by Parassd, Jan 20, 2015.

  1. cpinatsi

    cpinatsi Senior Contributor

    Well, that is a really difficult combination to deal with, but not impossible. I really think talking to both of them is the key to the solution. Even if that fails try convicing them to consult a psychologist maybe.
  2. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    I'm sorry to hear you are going thru this, I actually went thru something similar... my mom was a bit of a crazy mom and also an alcoholic. She is better now, still a bit peculiar but she now seems to be nicer, specially since she stopped drinking.

    Look, if you are really suffering you should move out. Life is too short to live it this way, this is a very heavy matter for you to have to carry on your shoulders... it's your parents problem, not yours. Is not the responsability of the children to fix the parents marriage. Your parents need to find a balance, because you are not going to be there your entire life!

    So please do yourself a favour and move, this is too much for you or anyone that age for that matter. Your father has made his decision, your mother is stuck in her ways... so there isn't a lot you can do. You better let them learn how to fix their differences on their own now better than later.

    This is just my opinion, ''my two cents'' as others would put it. In the end is up to you.
  3. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    Thank you for sharing your story. I know it is very sad if you saw your both parents in this kind of situation. As their child of course it is very hard for you to accept what is happening between them. A prayer will give you peace of mind and do not leave them if you think something will happen bad to them. Just think positive that one day they will both realize their mistakes in life.
  4. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Interesting, my parents are kind of the same way. My Dad always drank at home though. Now they are both like teenagers to me and I am the adult.
    I think you should do whatever makes you happy. They will be doing whatever they are doing with or without you. It is true what you are saying about your Mom making your Dad drink more. This happens. Quite a while ago I was in the worst relationship and all I did was drink. He stressed me out. It was so out of character for me to drink like that. I wasted enough time in that relationship.
    I would ask each of them individually, on the side, if they are happy. Ask your Dad how he feels about how he lives and if he likes being nagged. Something like this.
  5. Rubyrose

    Rubyrose Member

    I was not in the same exact situation as you, however it is a bit similar but only with one parent. My mom was addicted to prescription drugs and I was the only one that dealt with the problems of it. My mom depended on me a lot, when I was in college she would take half of my financial aid check because I was living with her, and just the problems that came with being addicted to the pills she was addicted to. My family did not know the full extent of what was going on. I eventually moved to a different state with my husband and I don't have to deal with it much anymore. When I left my family saw more of what was going on. Everyone has tried helping her, I of course tried helping her, tried telling her what she was doing isn't good, which she knows but she always says "I will quit at some point but I'm not going to tell you when" meaning she doesn't plan quitting any time soon, or is even considering quitting.

    All I can say is, you should be able to live your life. You should not have to go through all of the issues that you are going through, it is not your problem. If you want to move, you should move, I know it will be hard at first (it was a bit hard for me to move when I first moved because I was close to my mom despite what she was doing) but it becomes easier and you will have less stress in your life. Also just because you move does not mean you can't keep communicating with your parents or even visit them at times. If your parents are attached to you, they will have to learn to let you go, that you will still keep in touch. I think in time they will understand that and let you have your space if you do decide to move.
  6. smartmom

    smartmom Senior Contributor

    I feel that your parents are grown. You only have one life to live. You can not save them if they do not want to save themselves. You should work very hard to have your own home or move in for now with responsible relatives. This is not your battle!