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Alcoholic Now Dead

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by nafretiti, Oct 22, 2014.

  1. nafretiti

    nafretiti Member

    My step father had been an alcoholic since the day I could understand what was going on, he would always try and get us kids involved in his drunken stupor. My mother was always in the way though and took a lot of the storm, she was smacked around and her head hit against trees. He would abuse her with words and emotions, in the year of 2004 after constant abuse my step father passed away. He had gotten cancer, it started with an ulcer in his throat, the doctor said it was from drinking too much and not eating correctly. I knew that eventually one day that Alcohol would take his life, either through his liver or through something like cancer, it is a horrible and ugly experience to live with someone who abuses drinking.

    Alcoholism does not run in the family, I believe he started drinking in his 20's when his brother passed away in his own car from poison when you leave it running. Sad story, but I guess it is the facts of life.
    rabst likes this.
  2. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Unfortunately that's what happens when someone can't stop guzzling alcohol. One of my uncles also stuck to drinking despite being warned by physicians that his body had already taken more than enough. He dismissed the warnings telling anyone who'd listen that it was "his life." He died 4 years ago — Hepatorenal Syndrome.

    Sad yeah, but that's one thing anyone struggling with beating alcoholism should keep in mind. They're doing it for their own good.
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2014
    TXgirlNCworld and rabst like this.
  3. Jen S.

    Jen S. Guest

    Thanks for sharing, nafretiti. That is very sad.
    How is your mother now?
  4. mimsee

    mimsee Active Contributor

    My father is currently an alcoholic. About a year ago he was told by his doctor that he possibly has liver disease due to his excessive drinking. My father stopped cold-turkey and was sober for nearly two months. He revisited his doctor and when he was told that it ended up just being a fatty liver and not liver disease, he started drinking again that night and hasn't stopped. I can kind of relate to your story. If you need anyone to talk to please message me.
    TXgirlNCworld likes this.
  5. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    Alcoholism can be a pattern in the family. It is like doing what you see your elders do. Like if you get exposed to family members who are heavy drinkers then you adopt their habit. Or you can have an aversion to it. The uncle of my first cousin from her mom's side died really early due to liver problem. He was a heavy drinker. That time, his children were still small but old enough to understand the difficulties their dad went through and its negative effects on their family. They now have their respective families and fortunately have the sense to stay away from alcohol.
    rabst likes this.
  6. mimsee

    mimsee Active Contributor

    I believe that my dad's addiction to alcohol stems from the abuse he suffered as a small child. His father before him was an alcoholic and wife-beater and would wake my father up from his sleep just to beat him. My father began his drinking at the age of thirteen and was too stubborn to ever seek help for his early trauma..even though he still battles the side-effects today. He says that "real men don't cry to some doctor." So alcohol addiction can be from both watching the parents/loved ones do it or from trying to escape from reality, I think.
    rabst likes this.
  7. ExpertAdvice

    ExpertAdvice Active Contributor

    I too can attest to a man that died from alcoholism, he would drink bottles of rum and beer each day, one day, he said to his wife while on his way to the hospital, "I think my time is now, I don't think I'll be here tomorrow with you". And he did die that very day. He would've lived much longer if he didn't drink. He was 50 something at the time.
  8. vegito12

    vegito12 Community Champion

    I have seen alcoholism ruin lives, and how it can cause a person comfort the false one where they are happy and safe. One of my uncles would drink a lot and talk about things and swear a lot and fight with people when drunk which not a good thing to do. He did change later on, got treatment and family support and now just limits it to parties or family gatherings when they occur. He had to learn the hard way, what alcohol does and can affect others and, cause problems with relationships with others.
  9. Peninha

    Peninha Community Champion

    My uncle is an alcoholic too for long years now, he's always drinking but somehow manages to be civilized, I guess there are cases more severe than others?...
  10. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    Yes, it is sad knowing you lost someone close to alcohol abuse. I almost lost someone to alcohol abuse. It was an awful experience for me to witness. Does it always take someone to reach that life threatening stage before they actually do stop drinking? I know there are many reasons that prompt them to drink excessively as spoken in these forums. It just pangs me to see someone so down that they don't or won't try to pick themselves up. I always ask myself did they ever try, really try...
  11. sillylucy

    sillylucy Community Champion

    That's so sad. How is your mother doing after all of this? I hope she is seeing someone to deal with the years of abuse. I hope she is at peace now. How are you dealing with all of this?
  12. jackslivi

    jackslivi Active Contributor

    I am truly sorry about your father. Not only from him passing but for the emotion, physical problems he caused. His story will carry on through you and your family. And honestly, I think it's a great one that makes people think. I know that sounds horrible but do you realize how many people could benefit from his story? There are a lot of people who fall into the aloholic trap and can not get out. Even when they are told that this is it. I hope your family is doing well as well as you. You are very strong and I bet this has caused your family to be closer than ever. My best wishes to you all.
  13. sillylab

    sillylab Member

    That sounds pretty sad. I'm just curious would you have wished that the doctor had lied or something to keep him from drinking? Seriously wondering what your thoughts are on this, I family member of mine has a drinking problem and was considering something like this.
  14. frogsandlegos

    frogsandlegos Active Contributor

    I'm very sorry to hear this news about your stepfather. This is such a tragedy :( I'm sorry you had such a rough childhood... Glad that you are on this forum and glad you are not making the same mistakes.
  15. Gin0710

    Gin0710 Active Contributor

    Alcohol is a horrible drug. I drink occasionally but to depend on it would not be a good choice for me. I'm sorry you had to witness your mother getting beaten. That is a horrible thing for a child to have to see. I hope she is doing better and I hope you are too.
  16. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Sorry to know that, it was a sad story of his brother and also of his life.
    I knew some who died from being alcoholic and they suffered after years of daily drinking. I also knew some who are at very young age already suffered from stroke. Still those facts does not affects those alcoholics who knew the stories.
  17. Peninha

    Peninha Community Champion

    Both alcohol and drugs destroy lives, not only of those consuming them, but also of those around them, they need to stop while there is time.
  18. mimsee

    mimsee Active Contributor

    I do wish the doctor had lied, as horrible as that sounds....I know that it's completely illegal and immoral for him to do so, but, my dad was really starting to turn his life around when he thought that alcohol was killing him.
  19. AFKATafcar

    AFKATafcar Community Champion

    I'm sorry to hear about your stepfather. Sounds like a tragic situation all around. Even if alcoholism doesn't run in the family, a person can pick it up through the events in their lives, as with your stepfather's brother's accidental death, as you mentioned.
  20. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    What a terrible way to go as the life of an alcoholic is a dark one, like any other addiction it consumes your every move. Sorry to hear and with that I hope you have peace and a fresh start in a more pleasant future.