An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the DrugAbuse.com Forums?Join or

Alcoholics and the beats

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by tasha, Feb 2, 2016.

  1. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    If you are the lucky wife or spouse of an alcoholic then you are aware of the bruises and beatings that go along with a very unsober moment and the truth is that your partner is probably unaware of the damage and hurt that is bestowed onto you. If you cannot get help then think about your children and the damage that this is doing to them because watching mommy get hit is no fun for a kid and it could also happen to your child or your child could be mistaken for you one night when your spouse gets into the wrong bed! Think about these things carefully because it can and does happen so getting help is a must and if the person you love does not want to get help then get others to try and if this doesn't work then you need to consider a life less crazy for the sake of your kids if not for you.
    this might wake your spouse up a bit because as long as you are there helping and feeding then there is no reason for them to try.
    L_B likes this.
  2. xraycookie

    xraycookie Member

    To add a bit to this, spouses of alcoholics should also be aware of verbal abuse. Although less harmful for kids than beatings, it's still problematic behavior that should not be tolerated under any circumstances. It's also harder for authorities to remove the abusing spouse because "We were just having a fight." is considered a good excuse by patrol officers.
  3. Mara

    Mara Community Champion

    It's really sad when an alcoholic also resorts to beating his or her partner. Perhaps at the time, the person doing the beating does not know what he is doing because he is under the influence. But come tomorrow, when he is sober, he would surely see the signs. He will ask for forgiveness and he will be forgiven. Then he will drink again, and the beatings will start all over again. It's a vicious cycle. And it should stop.
  4. IgCho

    IgCho Member

    These are important things to remember for anyone in close contact with an alcoholic. The link between alcoholism and abusive relationships is a twisted one that can be incredibly difficult for anyone experiencing these effects to parse. I think the most important thing to remember is that as soon as someone is aware of being in an abusive relationship, it's time to plan how to extricate yourself from that situation as difficult as that may be.
    tasha likes this.
  5. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    As for me, if ever I would have an alcoholic husband, and he already starts getting violent towards me, I would never think twice of leaving him. Physical and verbal abuse would always be a big no in any kind of relationship, specially if it's a marital one. You deserve so much better than being beaten up by your spouse.
  6. amin021023

    amin021023 Community Champion

    I can't imagine how horrible it is that my partner or any of my loved ones get abusive towards me due to their addiction, I'm sorry about your experience, I wish it gets better...
  7. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    A beating whether it is verbal or physical is traumatic for kids no matter how slight and you are right it should not be tolerated at all. When you love someone and they behave badly you need to look at how you would like to be treated and see that this is not for you or your kids.
  8. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    They never remember what happened the day before but it is buried somewhere because some people in recovery do recollect certain memories but they are vague, the kids and spouses however, cannot forget
  9. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    alcoholics cannot remember the hour before so for those who are in a relationship with an alcoholic don't feel that you need to stay because they didn't mean it and they don't even know what happened... you need to think of how this will effect your children and their future needs to be protected as well as you, you need to have a peaceful life in someway and an intervention must be done so that your partner that you have always loved will be there somewhere to start with you
  10. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Right that it verbal abuse should not be tolerated as well and not just the physical abuse. It is never right to just allow anyone to be abused just because you want to keep the relationship. Think of the kids and others who are also suffering, better to seek help or do something to avoid these kind of abuse and stop addiction.
  11. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    I agree - if your personal safety or the safety of your children are at stake then the only advice I could give is to get far, far away. If you still want to try and help, you might need to look at strategies to do that from a distance. But never jeopardize your own wellbeing and that of your little ones.
  12. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    that is a good idea, help if you feel you must but from a distance, distance might make the partner wake up too
  13. bleblanc10

    bleblanc10 Senior Contributor

    A very good idea, thank you.
  14. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Women should really never tolerate that kind of behavior, when that happens they should immediately leave the man that beats them up for her sake and for the sake of her kids. They should get a divorce asap.