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Am I crazy cuz because I'm a heroin addict

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by Jai50, Aug 2, 2018.

  1. Jai50

    Jai50 Senior Contributor

    I read a few posts about a stigma being a heroin addict it's strong to the point that it makes a lot of us think we're hopeless and we deserve to be treated like a lower class. I recently got out of a relationship because he started disrespecting me. He thought I would accept this treatment because I was addicted to heroin. He never heard my story never wanted to. From the beginning of the relationship I was as honest as I could be about my addiction but there's somethings that are very hard to talk about also I would like to know the person better before I told them my whole story. He was still a stranger to me. I don't have a problem being honest but I wanted to make sure that this would be a long-term relationship. Anyway he started accusing me of things I was not doing to the point he became mentally abusive using the word Junkie hor slut Etc. I did tell him that not all people that struggle with addiction go as far as to sell their bodies for drugs and he was watching too many TV shows that misrepresent addiction. he said he was going to tell everybody that I am a prostitute and I'm crazy and nobody would believe me because I am a heroin addict and none of us can be trusted. Also we all are Psychopathic and delusional. The last straw was when he accused me of meeting somebody at the gas station up the street to do a drug deal. He didn't tell me the time or day that this happened because it didn't happen. But us addicts are crazy and delusional so it happened in his mind. Nothing I said or did would have changed his mind so I broke up with him. I don't care what he tells other people because I know who I am. And the people around me know who I am and what I've done they they would never believe those lies. I know I'm a good person I just had a very bad addiction to drugs. I would like to start getting rid of the stigma though because I met a lot of great people with a very high IQs people of talent it'a shame that our addiction took us away from who we are who we and could be. Has Anyone else experienced a person like this in the recovery? Or not in recovery for that matter? stay away from them.
  2. lonewolves

    lonewolves Community Champion

    I am soooo sorry that he said such hateful words to you. You don’t deserve to be treated that way, even if you did sell your body for drugs, which you didn’t. Toxic people need to be avoided at all costs! You’re not crazy, you’re human.
    Lostboy8731 and True concern like this.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Jai50... No, you're not crazy. And you're not a bad person. You struggle with addiction, and that's an illness...not a moral failing. You're right: There's a ton of stigma still associated with addiction. And even though the stigma seems to be lessening for addiction in general, I think heroin addiction is still heavily stigmatized. A lot of it, I think, has to do with how it's been portrayed on TV and in the movies. But, really, being addicted to heroin isn't much different than being addicted to pain pills that are prescribed by a doctor and picked up at the pharmacy. That's what a lot of people don't get.

    My son struggled with a heroin addiction and I remember when I first found out I was devastated. This was several years ago, and the only thing I knew about heroin addicts was what I had seen on TV or at the movies. When I educated myself more about addiction, I discovered that there are people from all walks of life who use heroin and become addicted to it. It was a learning experience that helped convince me to become an advocate for recovery and to help break the stigma associated with addiction.

    Like @lonewolves, I'm sorry that "man" said those things to you, too. I put "man" in quotation marks because no real man would ever say those things to someone...especially someone he was in a relationship with. Just be glad that you're out of that relationship. Anyone who would say those kinds of things is NOT someone you'd want to be with.

    Sending you big hugs. Glad you're here with us in this community!
  4. Jai50

    Jai50 Senior Contributor

    Thank you. I was starting to second guess myself in a way. I don't need that stigma
    Lostboy8731, deanokat and Dominica like this.
  5. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Im so sorry that piece of sh×t said such thing's to you. Im glad your out of that relationship you can do better and deserve better. Im having a hard time trying to figure some thing's out in my life myself right now,My wife who I want back but don't live with and haven't in over 3 year's has me more confused than ever.I no longer drink and now she drink's all the time,goes to bars,etc.I think I see the writing on the wall but still yet I don't want to read it.Im stuck in a tug of war with myself, I don't know what to do or how to think or function comfortably in my life at this time. Im still sober and I don't know how, for three day's or more I've been wanting to drink but I haven't I just keep chugging Perrier carbonated water like I was tipping up a 24ounce can of kinda burn's like chugging beer but I can still look at myself in the mirror and stand my own reflection yet still I feel like a ticking time bomb right now.I pray I can hold it together and I will admit as the day's go on the loneliness I feel gets more intense,I cut out all friends because I can't be sober around a bunch of drug users so literally for 3+year's I have had no one to talk to,hangout with,etc.I am getting to the point where I need someone to hug and hold and well whatever you get what Im saying.Stay Strong and God Bless
    Lostboy8731, Dominica and deanokat like this.
  6. Lostboy8731

    Lostboy8731 Community Champion

    First off @Jai50 just because your addicted to heroin in absolutely 150 % no way means you are lower class or any less of a person walking in sobriety nor should you feel that way. Addiction is an illness you are a person dear. Hats off to you for getting away from the abuse. I hope things will look up for you now. And yes as per your question ive let the wrong person in before and it was during recovery and well let just say i got lost for a long time due to there abuse. So please keep those toxic ppl away for you safety and your sanity love. Ttfn
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2018
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  7. Lostboy8731

    Lostboy8731 Community Champion

    Your journey is hard and very painful friend. My thoughts are with you. Hope things become clear as to your path and your days get easier to get through. Chin up @True concern . Good job on your staying sober...
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  8. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I had 7.5 month's sober and relapsed 1 day recently so in all honesty I'm again coning up on 1 month and I will continue to fight for sobriety and I am slowly defeating the demons that at one time confined me.I bare my shame openly so I have a chance to heal completely
    deanokat likes this.
  9. Lostboy8731

    Lostboy8731 Community Champion

    Well done. One day at a time. Im routing for you 150% pal
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  10. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Thank you likewise my friend I imagine tomorrow morning my fellow supporters will chime in and you will know them when they do and they have helped me so much and I love them
    Dominica, deanokat and Lostboy8731 like this.
  11. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

  12. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    Ditto!! <3
  13. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    deanokat, Dominica and True concern like this.