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Am I overreacting or right to be concerned?

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by Surf, Oct 20, 2014.

  1. gmckee1985

    gmckee1985 Senior Contributor

    you're definitely in the right as far as being concerned. just let them know that they are worried about them and point out some of the occassions where they have been over the line. maybe they just think they are having fun and having a few drinks. it's possible that you mentioning something will make them realize that maybe they have gone just a bit too far in their drinking. they may straighten up and change their behavior. you just never know.
  2. wulfman

    wulfman Senior Contributor

    A lot of people are in denial when they have a problem. You have every right to be concerned. I am the type of guy that voices concerns even if I am not 100% sure. It is both a gift and a curse I guess. :p
  3. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    It has been a while since Surf posted concerns about friends who had issues with alcohol. I hope some progress has been made and agree with those who felt his concern was justified.

    Talking to friends about a sensitive issue like this can be tricky at times, but I believe friends are suppose to speak to speak to each other openly and honestly. I hope I am around to hear about a positive outcome in this situation.
  4. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    I think your worry is reasonable and valid. My uncle drank every single day and was drunk on weekdays. He happened to keep himself sober on other days of the week because of his job. But that does not make him any different from an alcoholic. In fact, he is one because when he tried to stop it, he was shaking and irritable. He would even hurt his wife at times. He has drunk ever since he was a teenager. He tried to stop when he heard of friends and family who died of an illness caused by alcohol but went back to it. At the moment, he has not totally stopped but has managed to reduce the intake. When he got busy with a small business he likes and his grandkids started coming one after the other, that somehow motivated him to reduce the alcohol. He also engages himself in a regular exercise routine.
  5. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    You have a right to be concerned. But it's one of those things where they aren't breaking the law and they seem to be functioning alcoholics.

    How would you go about telling them your concerns when they seem to not be harming anyone? This is a question I ponder upon myself. I don't have an answer. But it is something to think and worry about.
  6. Anna Nguyen

    Anna Nguyen Member

    You have the right to be concerned. Drinking may not seem dangerous to them, but it will slowly effect the body.
    Any type of substance abuse will end up hurting the body. You are not overreacting. The more your friends drink, the closer it will be to make it a full-out addiction. I once had a friend who drank quite a lot during the weekends and ever since, she started drinking more and more. She also did drugs and over time, she became someone completely different to me. Whenever I tried to help her she wouldn't listen to my advice, even though she asks for it. She became a part of the group of people at our school that would rather stand by the smoke pit to do drugs, rather than learn.
  7. aquariancore

    aquariancore Member

    You are right to be concerned. I have too many friends whose behavior lead to a life of addiction. Some are stuck in the cycle. Some are dead to be quite honest. It's only natural to feel blame because you saw the signs. The reality is there is nothing you can do until they are ready to face the truth.
  8. JessiFox

    JessiFox Active Contributor

    I really feel for you on this one- it's a fine line to tread sometimes when you have your ideals and they influence how you see things and of course other people may see them differently. I do think it sounds like your concern is warranted, while it's good that it's not interfering with their work lives, it does sound like it's decreasing their wellbeing overall. And increasing the amount that others are having to do to take care of them....which is the sign of a bad habit, in my mind.
  9. muthoni

    muthoni Active Contributor

    Every addict believes that they do not have a problem; they may actually think that you are overreacting. This is becoming a problem because your life gets interrupted every so often so that you can pick them up. Let your friends know that you will not agree to go out with them if alcohol is involved. Do not pick them up when you are called on the phone, let them realize that they have a problem that needs to be sorted out.
  10. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Well sometimes people go through a phase at a young age. Drinking and going out seems like a marathon. Hopefully it doesn't continue past 6 months to a year. If it continues and goes on longer then there is obviously a problem. I think maybe my brother was the only one who said something to me when I was doing that. It really only lasted maybe 6 or 7 months off and on. None of my friends ever said a word. Hopefully they come around and wise up. Maybe if something distracts. I think I got into a serious relationship so I ended up staying in all the time. He didn't drink at all, so I stopped. Later off and on here or there I would. Nothing like that first round though. Everyone is different. Now I could care less about alcohol. It was just a phase.
  11. NikkiDesrosiers

    NikkiDesrosiers Senior Contributor

    Granted while you have a right to be concerned about the well being of your friends, there is not a whole lot you can do to help them until they can actively admit that they have a problem. I would voice your concerns over their habits and tell them why you are worried.
  12. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    You've hit the nail on the head there - there are so many functioning alcoholics who manage to keep their addiction hidden. It does sound like your friends are setting themselves up for future problems but until they can admit it to themselves, you may as well be talking to a brick wall. All you can really do is be a good friend and be there for them should they need it.
  13. Mackmax

    Mackmax Active Contributor

    You are right in showing concern for their drinking habits. While they may not be straight up drunks, the amount of drinks they consume each day can be very toxic to their health, and may bite them in the butt in the long run. They are adults, so it is inappropriate for them to get so drunk that they don't even remember what happened that night, and they should understand that it is a drag for you to have to stop what you're doing and come pick them up because they aren't sober enough to drive. Since their drinking tendencies affect you, you have every right to be concerned, and they should consider your feelings a bit more.
    Perhaps you should tell them what you're telling us.
  14. fire421

    fire421 Member

    People who drink are often depressed. It's good that you care about their well-being. I suggest you try talking to them and learn about their personal life to see if there is anything that is causing this need to escape.
  15. MarkM34

    MarkM34 Member

    It's natural that you are concerned. All you can really do is continue to observe. They might pull away from you if you keep telling them. Just continue being a good friend to them and see what happens. It's a difficult situation, but sometimes it's like the blind leading the blind.