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Am I the last solution to give an addict a chance to get help?

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by Taymichm, Jun 2, 2018.

  1. Taymichm

    Taymichm Member

    My ex boyfriend uses meth. Through our 3 year relationship the amount and usage grew. At the end I discovered he had begun to shoot up the drug. I myself have never used but I wanted badly to help him. I thought if someone cared and gave him an opportunity to openly discuss his addiction that steps to treatment and recovery could be possible. We ended our relationship with him in the wraps of addiction. He went on to find a partner to use with instead of one that would encourage change. Today I heard some thing from a mutual friend on the situation, specifically the situation in which an 8 year old boy is in with his father. After reaching out to the addicts family I was told about various attempts they had made to get him to admit he was using, all failed. I know that the family will not be able to do this due to his attitude toward them over all and this is a life or death situation for this person. I cant see it continuing like this before he kills himself. They had been in contact with his boss and his boss had given the addict drug test in which he always passes. Unaware that they make fake urine for such situations. A while back this same boss gave me his number one day and told me to call him if this person was doing wrong or slipping up. A call I should have already made. I was thinking to present him with a drug test twice that way the second one he would have urine to pass. Side not he has a deep respect for his boss and they have know each other their whole lives. After the second test its likely that he will quit instead of taking the test. Then I feel his boss needs to sit down and maybe talk about getting help. From then the addict has the right to refuse or be helped before he ends his own life and his child has no one to depend on. Being his ex girlfriend I am very aware this is none of my business but I do love him and his son. Previously I feel that I enabled him. I gave him money food and I always smoothed over the family conflicts just to kept that last thread. I do regret not doing more but I was doing all I knew to do. I feel that making this call would be my last effort to get him help to save his life essentially. I dont want to get involved or appear like I'm doing this out of spite. I just know his boss would take me seriously and I think back to that day he gave me his number telling me to call. This could help him or hurt him depending on the choice he makes, that's why it's so risky. If anything ever happened I would have overwhelming feelings of guilt that I didn't do all I knew I could do. What should I do?
    Dominica likes this.
  2. Josh111187

    Josh111187 Community Champion

    Hi I'm very glad you came here for some advice. I'm not saying yay or nay on wether or not you should call his boss. I'm going to share two personal experiences with you.
    I'll be brief, the first was my family having an intervention with me and making me confront my drug abuse, I wouldn't be alive todat if it weren't for that. I was shooting every opiate I could get my hands on yet thought that I was in control.
    The second situation is where I arranged my brother in laws arrest and he is aware of the fact that I did that now but is greatful that someone cared enough to do something drastic. He told me when I was visiting him in jail once that he was scared that each stick might be his last but he couldn't stop at least in there he didn't have to worry about that. That's exactly how I felt,but I couldn't do it on my own.
    Don't get me wrong at the time we were both angry with the others for "taking our lives away", that's what we both said really! Shows how screwed up an addicts mind is.
    But now two years later I have my son back and he's a music minister at a local church.
    If you are waiting for an addict to make a good decision then you'll be waiting a long time. Because all they care about is their fix. Hope this helps.
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  3. Taymichm

    Taymichm Member

    Thank you for sharing your experience with me and examples of how things can change.
    deanokat likes this.
  4. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I'm having dejavu I could've swore i responded to you,possibly on another thread?
    deanokat likes this.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Taymichm... I replied to your post in another thread, so please look for that.

    @True concern... I had the same deja vu you had. There is another thread.
    True concern likes this.
  6. Jai50

    Jai50 Senior Contributor

    Ur a good person that wanted to help someone u loved. Idk if ur right or wrong cuz I'm only seeing it from ur point of view.
    U may had good intentions and felt like he needed it, but u can' force recovery on a person that's not ready to quit.

    Just my opinion,
    deanokat and True concern like this.