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Am I the last solution to give an addict a chance to get help?

Discussion in 'Methamphetamine / Meth' started by Taymichm, Jun 2, 2018.

  1. Taymichm

    Taymichm Member

    My ex boyfriend uses meth. Through our 3 year relationship the amount and usage grew. At the end I discovered he had begun to shoot up the drug. I myself have never used but I wanted badly to help him. I thought if someone cared and gave him an opportunity to openly discuss his addiction that steps to treatment and recovery could be possible. We ended our relationship with him in the wraps of addiction. He went on to find a partner to use with instead of one that would encourage change. Today I heard some thing from a mutual friend on the situation, specifically the situation in which an 8 year old boy is in with his father. After reaching out to the addicts family I was told about various attempts they had made to get him to admit he was using, all failed. I know that the family will not be able to do this due to his attitude toward them over all and this is a life or death situation for this person. I cant see it continuing like this before he kills himself. They had been in contact with his boss and his boss had given the addict drug test in which he always passes. Unaware that they make fake urine for such situations. A while back this same boss gave me his number one day and told me to call him if this person was doing wrong or slipping up. A call I should have already made. I was thinking to present him with a drug test twice that way the second one he would have urine to pass. Side not he has a deep respect for his boss and they have know each other their whole lives. After the second test its likely that he will quit instead of taking the test. Then I feel his boss needs to sit down and maybe talk about getting help. From then the addict has the right to refuse or be helped before he ends his own life and his child has no one to depend on. Being his ex girlfriend I am very aware this is none of my business but I do love him and his son. Previously I feel that I enabled him. I gave him money food and I always smoothed over the family conflicts just to kept that last thread. I do regret not doing more but I was doing all I knew to do. I feel that making this call would be my last effort to get him help to save his life essentially. I dont want to get involved or appear like I'm doing this out of spite. I just know his boss would take me seriously and I think back to that day he gave me his number telling me to call. This could help him or hurt him depending on the choice he makes, that's why it's so risky. If anything ever happened I would have overwhelming feelings of guilt that I didn't do all I knew I could do. What should I do?
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Taymichm... I'm sorry you're having to struggle with this decision. If it were me, I would stay out of it. But only you can decide what the right decision is for you.
    Lostboy8731 and True concern like this.
  3. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    No you are not the only hope for this individual
    Lostboy8731 and deanokat like this.
  4. I would not call his boss. If he did get into trouble or lost his job he would only resent the person who called his boss. If you want to help then contact him with the intentions of being understanding and helpful, not accusatory and degrading. You'll never help an addict by throwing their habit in their face, and especially not by going behind their back to potentially get them into trouble or get them fired from work.
    Lostboy8731, deanokat and Dominica like this.
  5. Rox

    Rox Member

    No one can help anyon
    Lostboy8731 likes this.
  6. Rox

    Rox Member

    If they want help they will ask if they want to stop they will. It's all up to them and how bad they want it
  7. Trying_To_Cope

    Trying_To_Cope Active Contributor

    Mine of 4 years is having the same problem. He's actually on probation for something and after the violence started to come out, I wanted to call and have him put in jail because he's not ready to get help and he's going to hurt himself, me or someone else. I think that jail is the best place for him, but I feel like you. Is this out of spite or is it because I love him so much. I'm on the fence about it.
    I'm so sorry you are going through this. I totally understand and the bad part is that they arent worried about us so why should we worry about them? Someone in this group told me it's because of LOVE. It's a vicious circle and my head is going a million miles a minute. Keep your chin up and it says a lot about you. Says that you care. I commend that.
    Prayers Your Way...
  8. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    That was me that made the love comment.This is what I've learned in the past 3-4 month's and I can't believe im going to say this but......."Love can be just as crippling as addiction" I know because im still stuck in love chasing my wife like she were a bag of to speak
    deanokat, Dominica and Trying_To_Cope like this.
  9. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Love is, perhaps, the most powerful drug of all, @True concern. True story.
  10. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    o_Oo_O:eek::eek::eek:"POOF"Mind Blown"
    Lostboy8731, deanokat and Dominica like this.
  11. Lostboy8731

    Lostboy8731 Community Champion

    Very true, no one can help an addict but him/ her self and that's usually only when they've hit rock bottom and then some and make the choice themselves to ask for help
    deanokat and Dominica like this.