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Another Chance

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by RoseK, Dec 27, 2014.

  1. RoseK

    RoseK Active Contributor

    Hi! My battle with alcohol, depression and anxiety began when I was very, very young (age 13) and I'm still battling twenty years later. I have gone through binge drinking cycles and a long list of alcoholic boyfriends and ex-husbands. I've gotten into many weird and dangerous situations because of poor decision-making and yes, alcohol. I've lost my children to their fathers and have been homeless off and on for the past six years moving from place to place. I recently moved from WI to MD and I am finally in a stable living situation where I have begun to write again and focus on myself...as well as alternatives to drinking when I become stressed or before bed (both known triggers). It has been an arduous journey but I'm proud of myself for getting this far..I'll be picking up my pieces for the rest of my life, but I'm glad to have been given another chance.
    xTinx and valiantx like this.
  2. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    It seems to me that you have the correct mindset to starting over. I, along with everyone else on the forum I'm sure, am very proud of you and the steps that you have taken thus far. Just know that you can conquer your addiction for good. You need to know that you are bigger than the substances that you face. I wish you well on your life ahead of you, and if you need any moral support or prayer, please come back to the forum.
  3. Fern

    Fern Active Contributor

    The huge strides you've taken in the right direction show your dedication to the change. I wish you well in your journey and you'll find a lot of support here. Combining depression and anxiety with substance abuse issues is hard to overcome. The substance feels like self medicating. Now you're finding other ways to take care of yourself and succeeding so I'm sure there are others who would like to learn from your successes as well as offering you support.
  4. RoseK

    RoseK Active Contributor

    Thank you for your encouragement! I'm currently on medication for my depression and anxiety that is actually working for me :) I finally have someone in my corner to be there for me through my urges and old thought patterns. I've found that daily writing really does help..as well as routine. I've also found that many types of meditation helps to calm me without the use of alcohol. I am no longer around enablers.
    valiantx likes this.
  5. valiantx

    valiantx Community Champion

    Hi RoseK, thanks for sharing your story to this forum and good to see your doing far much better now without drugs! Stories like these always put a big smile to me and I'm sure it motivates a lot of others on the forum too. I've known many people who had started doing drugs when they were young and they fell on many years of trials, errors, mistakes, and heartaches, some did not make it and some got worst than ever before, but many of these people I know also willed themselves to climb out of the cesspit they had put themselves and others through. To fail, happens only when you give up, so persist to create your bliss!

    Also, if you ever finish writing something, if you don't mind, it would be great if you share a little bit of it here, specifically the inspirational thread.
    MrsJones likes this.
  6. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    Hi! I'm happy to hear that your medication helps you -- I think a lot of addicts and alcohol users are trying to self-medicate, so it makes it easier to let go of that when you have other professionals taking care of you in a sound medical manner. It's good to hear you can avoid your triggers so well and that you have started doing things that make you happy again. What kind of writing do you make?
    RoseK likes this.
  7. Scopp

    Scopp Member

    Keep it up! It sounds like you're doing great. Of course you'll run into roadblocks every joe and then along the way, hut I strongly feel that if you can hold on to your current mindset, steer towards things that you know in your heart are good for you and away from the things that aren't, you'll make it through everything. And also inspire others to do the same!

    Keep moving forward! <3
    RoseK likes this.
  8. RoseK

    RoseK Active Contributor

    I've posted a couple of things in the Inspiration thread. Feel free to leave your own musings as well :)
  9. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    Hi RoseK, it looks like things are moving onwards and upwards for you. It sounds like you have been through a lot, and have finally found a way to deal with things. I have been there as well. It took me many years to unravel the many layered knots to get clarity. Finally, I am getting to stage now where I can say that I am quite proud of my personal achievements. I managed to survive. And that's all it takes to start again...
  10. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    RoseK, you said in your earlier post that you were proud of yourself and I feel I speak for all here who are equally proud of you. Someone said your story put a smile on their face. I can say the same and that in itself speaks volumes.

    You seem a great writer if I may add. Keep putting that pen to paper and make other people smile. Consider that you now have a new community of friends in your corner:).
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2015
    RoseK and MrsJones like this.
  11. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    That's the spirit, Rose! Never let life get the better of you. The beauty of being human is that no matter how many times we fall down, for as long as we're alive, we have every opportunity to get back up. I'm glad you didn't let your past overshadow the good you're able to do at present. More power to you!
    RoseK likes this.
  12. RoseK

    RoseK Active Contributor

    Everyone..I am so thankful to be part of this community :) As far as being a writer, I recently began again after a ten year hiatus. Now, I write every day and average 1,000/daily. As much support as I recieve, I also want to support others. I sincerely believe that we are all connected and not desolate islands.
  13. 003

    003 Community Champion

    Chances should always be given, but not trust. Because we all have to prove ourselves, and even ourselves we can't trust. What really matters then is that we strive to do our best and keep doing it. It's not going to be easy. It would really be hard, but we shouldn't lose. It's not really other people who are giving us chances, but ourselves. Let's give ourselves chance to improve, to be a good man, and be an inspiration to other people.
    RoseK likes this.
  14. RoseK

    RoseK Active Contributor

    I agree with you. When I was younger, I wasn't happy with myself unless I had pleased my family, which was next to impossible. I started treating myself better and no one seemed to notice..it was unseen by those I wanted to prove it to the most. The ones who only saw me as part of the past, unable to anyone other than how they saw me. I'm slowly doing more and more for myself..to make myself proud. It generally works and it is one of the best highs I've ever experienced :)
    Winterybella likes this.
  15. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    That's beautiful RoseK. I love your approach to YOU. Keep getting "high" on making yourself proud. I am a parent and sometimes we get bogged down in the idea of our children "making US proud". I have to confess, that often without realizing it, our children's lives become more about us and what we want to see in them. Granted, we never want to see them fall, but sometimes as many have told me, we have to let them find their own way. I am happy you are finding yours.
    RoseK likes this.
  16. RoseK

    RoseK Active Contributor

    Thank you, Winterybella, for your response to my post. I have also been slowly mending relationships with my sisters and children. I take the initiative to call and message them..and they generally respond. I know it will take a great deal more patience, but another chance at relationships with them is important for me and my recovery.
  17. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    I don't know where it is going to lead me but I am a big believer in mending broken pieces. This thread speaks to second chances and I am a definite advocate of second chances "plus" more. I encourage you to keep calling and mending wherever possible. I assure you it is going to give you a peace of mind like no other.

    It does require patience when working on rebuilding relationships, but I believe the "fight" can be won. I have been encouraging a friend who's perhaps 15 or more years my senior to call his estranged daughter and work on rebuilding their relationship. For years he's been encouraging me , yet somehow can't find the strength to call his own flesh and blood. I know it can be hard, but sometimes it just calls for one person making that all important first step. Rosek, continue to do your part for your ultimate recovery. Again I applaud you.
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2015
    RoseK likes this.
  18. RoseK

    RoseK Active Contributor

    Thank you for your kind words and support everyone. One thing that keeps me going and trying is just showing up..for my new routines, writing, being truthful with myself and others, just to name a few. One idea I struggle with is the ability to be kind and forgive myself when I do make mistakes. I have a feeling that will be a lifelong work in progress.
  19. imperivm1

    imperivm1 Community Champion

    It doesn't matter how many times you fall, as long as you get back on your feet again every single time. I admire your perseverance and positive thinking after everything you've been through. Hopefully, things will turn out for the better this time, who knows? Only time will tell. You have my blessings either way.
  20. jon

    jon Active Contributor

    That's great, that you still have hope. Maybe, with a good plan, you can get back on your feet, and stay there. With the right perspective you can still accomplish some great things to make up for the sorrow.