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Are people close to you supportive?

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by primalclaws1974, Dec 7, 2014.

  1. primalclaws1974

    primalclaws1974 Senior Contributor

    I have occasionally (even in these forums) questioned if my drinking is controlled or not. My mother particularly has gotten down on me over the years, even though there really have been no incidents legally or in a disruptive way, based on my drinking. My wife usually has no issues with me drinking once a week. I will ask her each and every time before I buy beer. When she's really mad at me, she will occasionally call me an alcoholic. I don't know if this just something to use as a weapon or if she believes it. If I did have an addiction, I certainly wouldn't feel like I would have support, only criticism. Do you have people that are negative or are trying to empower you?
  2. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    All the time. My family isn't all that bad but I've always felt like when they say what they want is what's best for me, what they really mean is they want whatever comes closest to the image and ideals of what they have imagined in their minds of what family and family members should be. I attribute this mostly to their lack of their own experiences and goals so they tend to expect other people to live it out for them. It doesn't matter to me what they think, as long as I myself know I am living my life the way I intend to without causing any harm to others and at the same time fulfilling my responsibilities.
  3. Nate5

    Nate5 Active Contributor

    A few of my friends have mentioned that they're really appreciative of my help during their grind. I've never had an addiction so I have no idea how difficult it must have been for them. I think they knew that their attitudes tended to be a bit brash during their withdrawal, but I guess that as friends, we kind of have to see through it so we can truly help them overcome.
  4. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    I have made it a mission of mine to let go of all the people that were standing in my way with their obstructive opinions and negative attitudes. So, for a number of years now I have only surrounded myself with people who appreciate me, and who know how much I appreciate them. It's not easy, and takes work, but the rewards are intrinsic. My friends and I, we feel good together. Inspired, up-lifted and supported in many different ways. I am grateful for this wonderful gift every day of my life.
  5. Nergaahl

    Nergaahl Community Champion

    I could always count on my friends for support with this. They are very caring, and the best friends I could ever ask for. If it wasn't them I wouldn't had had the power to quit all my addictions. And that's how everyone's friends and family should be. The other ones ran away from me because of my addictions. Only the true friends remained with me until I could beat all of these.
  6. kima

    kima Member

    I love my family, but my friends are the ones who understand me the most. As a high schooler, I felt like I was slipping- ditching class, not hanging out with the wrong crowd, using, and just being downright disrespectful. My closest friends were the shining glimmer of hope in these dark times of my life. I would not listen to anyone but them. Everyone gave me the courage to pick myself up. I wanted to stop being a burden and started being someone they did not have to constantly worry about. I did not want to be some trouble making, helpless individual. Looking back, I feel extremely embarrassed about the way I acted towards people at that age. I'm forever grateful for the friends I have because without them, who knows where I could be right now.
  7. AFKATafcar

    AFKATafcar Community Champion

    Most of the people in my life want to empower those around them rather than provide no support at all. I don't have any current additions, but I know friends who know individuals with an addiction or two. I've always seen them act in a supportive manner to those individuals, and it makes me more than happy to know how great those friends are toward individuals that are going through a rough time with addiction or other personal issues.
  8. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    I had never been into any addiction but I may share that I am proud that my family are the most supportive persons I had in my life. Sometimes we do had some small problems in our family too wherein one of us needs guidance and words of wisdom if sometimes we are not on the right path. If this happened all of us are there for each other to help and not to criticize which I think are the best things to do.
  9. davidj96

    davidj96 Member

    Well, when I was going through my alcohol addiction, I had a few friends, my girlfriend, and fellow mentors that supported me and still support me to this day. I'm really happy that I have had these people by my side through everything because without them I really don't know how I would have made it through all of this.
  10. mikka254

    mikka254 Member

    You just have to remember that we as individuals take different situations differently. Especially if it's someone close to you they may feel that they can be able to tell you anything and in anyway because they feel safe around you so they believe you feel safe around them. Unless it's name calling, or beatings then they might actually be trying to help. That might be their version of trying to help and you should take it as a compliment that they care enough to say something. When it goes overboard, you should say so without fear but not with hostility. Act they way you want to be treated and teach them how to relate to you so that you reach some type of understanding of your individual personalities. This also works in marriages.
  11. 003

    003 Community Champion

    They are supposed to be, but in my case they are not. Nevertheless I still love them with all my heart, selflessly. I don't get mad at them if they are not supportive and that if they see me as a failure. If that's what they have seen, I will not try to change their minds by me simply telling them that I have changed for the better me. I would rather show them the better me and gain back their trust, respect and support again.
  12. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    I think everyone that I know uses some kind of drug or alcohol. Those that use drugs, I don't hang out with at all. The drinkers I still keep in contact with, but I make it a point to limit my time with them. The more I hang out with them the higher the chance of drinking alcohol. So I need to watch myself.
  13. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Post-teenage angst, I've always felt that I must have done something good in my past life to be so lucky at present. I have a supportive family who may be strict but will nevertheless have my back come hell or high water. I'm also blessed to have good friends who generally share the same values and ideals as I do even though we come from different backgrounds. Of course, that doesn't mean we don't argue or criticize each other. What I like about my family and friends is that our differences cement us together rather than tear us apart.
  14. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    No, my family used to be supportive, but then they became mean and crazy to the point that we now see each other as opponents living inside one roof. We don't even trust each other. But my friends can compensate for that, at least I can vent to them and they take time to listen and give advice whenever we catch up or text each other.
  15. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    Good to hear you have so many great friends. I see friends as having a big effect especially on those who are struggling and feel alone because those people usually can't get much support from their family for one reason or another, and on these situations it really is good if you at least have friends to talk to and if they are able to know and love you enough then even if you end up messing up and if they are true friends then they are most likely to still stick by you.
  16. adfnio

    adfnio Community Champion

    I kind of just stopped hanging out with people that drink. I have to do whats right for me and just stay home and do other things around the house. That's the way I deal with negativity, by just avoiding it for the time being. Eventually I'll go out in the world again, but not at the moment.
  17. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    I had friends who were negative towards me and people who supported me through the hard times. I got rid of the friends that I felt weren't adding positive things in my life and I tried to form new relationships with other people.
    I'm suffering from social anxiety right now which makes things harder.
  18. imperivm1

    imperivm1 Community Champion

    Some are negative and some are not. Those who aren't rarely have the audacity to voice their concerns and even if they did it wouldn't strike a chord in me. We need positivity in order to flourish. If we don't support the ones who are in trouble then they will be better off without us. It's just the way life is.
  19. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    My family and friends have been a great support and source of encouragement to me. I have not been really an addict, but I know I could always count on my loved ones anytime.
  20. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Some people have their own issues with things. A complex or something. If they react in a bad way or over react it can have to do with something they previously experienced. Drinking once a week is not really that big a deal. It would be good to see how long you an go without. A month or two. It's not worth it to even pay attention to the negative controlling people.