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Are the parents to blame?

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Child' started by Winterybella, May 9, 2015.

  1. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    That is really interesting. You make really good points and absolutely. I think the conclusion is after reading the majority of the comments is that parents are really to blame in a lot of circumstances that a child becomes how he is.
  2. Femiluv

    Femiluv Active Contributor

    I think blaming parents is the easy way out. Although it's hard to deny that the environment we're raised in impacts our life in many ways. However, kids also have agency and some form of autonomy. They can also make their own choices and decide to be different from their parents. It's hard to do this but very possible.
    Winterybella likes this.
  3. hellonamesdana

    hellonamesdana Senior Contributor

    I think sometimes that's definitely a possibility. Whether it be that the parent is way too strict and the child rebels because of it, or the parent is too lenient and even introduces the kid to drugs or has them around while they're growing up, they can definitely take part of the blame for it.
  4. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

  5. ZXD22

    ZXD22 Senior Contributor

    Yes it does depend on the situation. Some parents don't even care at all from what it seems like while others are uptight and are very strict about such things. It also dependa if the drug or addiction runs in the family or not. That is what usually happens when a child starts doing drugs and such, to look cool and follow a role model such as their parents or an adult.
  6. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    I don't believe parents are too blame. They might play a role on children's choices or they might not, but at the very end if we are in this world is because of them, and this sole fact deserves our respect.

    We are not the right individuals to judge our parents, whether they are or they were addicted to alcohol or drugs, if they pushed us to drink or that if we made our choices based on what we saw they did.

    Whatever happen to children when they are in age to make choices, its only their responsibility, and has to be accepted, no matter how bad the decision was in any case.
  7. karmaskeeper

    karmaskeeper Community Champion

    For the most part yes I do believe parents hold the blame. Now I'm not saying this to be true in every case, but from my on personally experience I can say that my up bringing played a major role in my addiction to alcohol. I have seen the same with friends, and other family members as well.
  8. juno

    juno Community Champion

    Parents have the most impact on their children. And if a parent does zero drug education and supervision for their children, then they are definitely to be blamed. However, there are parents who also do everything by the book, however kids still turn to drugs because of some external circumstance. Part of it is parenting and part of it is the environment and individual personality. It all depends on the situation.
  9. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    There is some truth to that, but if it wasn't for the parents not protecting them of external circumstances, it wouldn't of happened so I think it goes back to parents again, it's a really deep philosophical topic.
  10. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    As the father of a son in long-term recovery, I have to say that I don't think parents are responsible for their child's addiction. My wife and I did everything within our power while my son was growing up to teach him right and wrong and the dangers of drugs. Unfortunately, my son started suffering from depression when he was 15. At that time, we got him into therapy to address that issue. But nothing we did could stop our son from wanting to feel "normal," and he turned to self-medicating with marijuana. From there he started taking RX pills out of friends' medicine cabinets, and eventually started using heroin.

    To make a blanket statement saying that parents are responsible for their kids' addiction is just wrong, in my opinion.
  11. vincelucker

    vincelucker Member

    Parents are partly to blame, some parents fail to understand their kids and as a result of continuous conflicts their kids tend to turn into drug use as a way of escaping from reality. But some children tend to be delinquent no matter how much love and care their parents show them and in such a situation parents cannot be blamed for the wrong choices their children make.
  12. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    Sometimes parents think there are doing all the right things and can't understand why children turn to drugs or alcohol. Sadly what is "all the right things" to them are the very things the children will say the parents did ' all wrong" even if with the best of intentions. Although I raised the question, I have to say at the end of the day it isn't so much who's to blame, but what do you collectively do to correct things.
  13. artkat96

    artkat96 Member

    I don't think the parents are to blame. I speak from first-hand experience. I was raised by a happily married couple in a nice home with little to no issues (I guess all families have some, but we really didn't have much). I can say with brutal honesty that all of my bad choices were MY bad choices. My parents did all they could for me and I really threw it in their face. I fully accept that my decisions were all mine and my parents did not contribute.
    deanokat likes this.
  14. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Mostly parents or guardians are to blame. Example of those situations are when a parent is an addict and abusing the child of doing his/her addiction in front of the child. There could also be some cases where a parent is forcing the child to be involved in the addiction like in selling.
  15. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    In my own experience, I can clearly say that my parents had a very strong influence on my alcohol abuse later in life. They are both alcoholics, and they used to abuse me psychologically and physically on a daily basis. I got addicted to cigarettes when I was 13 and to alcohol when I was 16. I gave up alcohol when I was 21, and I have never touched it again since. That was also the time when I went to live in a country far away from all the trauma that I had experienced.
  16. Lizel

    Lizel Community Champion

    Some times, because when a child constantly is a witness to some situations like for ex. an alcoholic parent, then he/she can take over the experience to his/her later life, because my mum or dad has drank and it was a good way for him/her to deal with problems and bad emotions, so why shouldn't I try to escape the same way he/she did?
  17. smartmom

    smartmom Senior Contributor

    Yes parents can be the blame but when does it stop? Children will turn to something to help cope with the pain but at what time does a persons past stop determing their future. I do know that it is hard to just stop cold turkey but if a person wants it bad enough they can. I know its harder for some than others but I refuse to believe that people have to stay addicted to anything. This would mean that their is no hope and I always believe in hope.
  18. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    We all have responsibilities as from home to school. A parent's failure to address the issue of drugs earlier may result to their children being addicts. Addiction may result from influence from friends at school. Many tend to believe that whatever their friends do is always right, so they end up being lured into drinking.
  19. Zyni

    Zyni Community Champion

    I think parents and others exert some influence, whether good or bad. To actually blame parents though? I think that's too much. Every person has a choice. Each individual is ultimately responsible and accountable for the choices he or she makes, despite the things that influence them.
    deanokat likes this.
  20. light

    light Active Contributor

    Parents are responsible for their children behavior but aren’t the only factor that contributes their choices in the future. A child filled with love, attention and good memories of his childhood has less risks of becoming a drug or alcohol addict. People say that “children are mirrors of their parents” because a child will unconsciously imitate his parents as the best model he could find to create his character. Parents must remind that their time spent with their children in more important than the money to rise them up.