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Are You Happy?

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by bluedressed, Jan 15, 2015.

  1. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    I remember the first time someone asked me this question. It was a girl in one of my classes. I had not shown any signs of hurt, pain, anger or annoyance; she was not looking worried or like she had a specific reason for asking me this instead of "Hey, how're you doing?" or "What's up?".

    It surprised me. I realized I was not sure what to answer, I really was caught at a loss and somehow confused. Instead of answering her question, I returned her with one: "Why do you ask?"

    She did not think it twice, she just said simply, like if it was obvious from the start, "Because it's important".

    This is one of the most important things anyone has ever said to me. This simple act of caring, beyond just the social lubricant of asking "How are you doing?". The simplicity of her voice and of her being curious and wanting me to be happy. The realization that I did not think about it for myself.

    It made me feel like I mattered, somehow. Like I had been seen, and cared for.
    In harsher moments, I remembered this question, and I asked to myself how I would answer it today, or yesterday, if I were to be honest to myself. Do my choices make me happy? Am I doing good for myself? Am I also trying to show to others concern?

    More than five years later, I still remember this specific moment, and this girl, and how much it mattered -- still matters -- to me. Truth is, we never know when our words or actions are going to mean the world to someone. We should make sure that when it does, it pushes them towards something positive, rather than negative.

    How about you?

    Are you happy?

    It's important.
    Winterybella and Zyni like this.
  2. bluzkluz09

    bluzkluz09 Active Contributor

    This is a very thought provoking question. I've asked myself this question many times. More like what would make me happy. I don't think anyone is all the way 100% through and through with every fiber of their being happy. We all have happy moments but happiness just like sadness is an emotion. I don't think our emotions are meant to remain constant. It is constantly changing. What we have to do is program our minds to make the best of our situations. Also to focus on the happy and good memories and thoughts. Saying program makes it sound robotic but I think you get the idea :)
  3. LitoLawless

    LitoLawless Senior Contributor

    That's a pretty amazing story actually. I always ask myself am I happy when I look in the mirror, but I've never thought of asking anyone else. It's so important to be happy and so many people take it for granted. Being happy is not as easy as many make it out to be, but it really is worth it to find out if you actually are.
    bluedressed likes this.
  4. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    I'm sure most people never pause to ask themselves whether they are happy or not. That's probably because they take happiness for granted. Most people just go through life without knowing what they really want. Some think it's money that will get them happiness but once they realize it doesn't they start doing drugs [look at the celebrities for example].

    But to answer OP's question, am I happy?

    I'd say I am relatively happy.
  5. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    When i come to think about it,i do realize the importance of that question.You see,we are so engrossed with life's battles and tribulations that we hardly realize what we feel about ourselves.Between providing for our families and thinking about their well being, the issue of our own happiness does not take center stage. But to be honest,happiness is a key factor in our lives,without it we're less of a human. As to whether am happy, when my family is happy,am happy.
  6. Tournique

    Tournique Senior Contributor

    I have phases and phases. Sometimes I feel happy and at ease and some times I get stressed and nervous. I can say i'm satisfied with myself.
  7. megankl

    megankl Active Contributor

    Yes, thankfully I can say that I am generally happy with/in my life! I am the type of person who believes that everything happens for a reason and you should try to learn from it instead of regret it. I know that all of the things in my life have happened for a reason and I wouldn't be who I am without these life lessons.
  8. angelicagapit

    angelicagapit Active Contributor

    I'm happy in some aspects of life, in in other aspects, I actually feel a bit incomplete. Physically, I'm happy. I take care of my body by working out often and taking in proper nutrition. Socially, I would say that I'm pretty happy. I have a good set of friends and one very close friend. Emotionally and spiritually, I'm quite bothered. Sometimes I can't control my emotions, so I can't control when I'm feeling angry or sad, but nowadays, I'm trying to practice 'paradigm shifting', which is simply to change your perspective into a more positive outlook. Spiritually, I'm incomplete. This is because my relationship with God isn't so strong, but I'm trying to make it stronger this year.

    Thanks for asking!
  9. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    Very good story and thank you very much for sharing that. I completely agree, I think people tend to be a bit too self involved so they sometimes forget that taking to others with sincerity is important. To answer your question, I am doing fine so far this year. I would like to achieve more but I have learned to be fine with having to be more patient. Now I would like to ask you the same question.
  10. Twinsmommy31

    Twinsmommy31 Active Contributor

    I am happy because there is always hope for a better day. This is a great mentality to keep. Find what makes you happy, that is positive and keep with it. Everyone deserves happiness. Happiness is some people's motivation to keep going.
  11. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Thanks for this new perspective. We're so used to hearing such questions all our life that we tend to forget their real significance. I tend to be irritated whenever someone asks mundane questions, but I guess I have to think twice now before reacting so violently. Even if such questions appear commonplace, we should all be thankful that someone asked in the first place, intentions-regardless. We can be truly happy the moment we stop overthinking.
  12. oraclemay

    oraclemay Community Champion

    Actually, I have asked myself this quite recently. When I am unhappy I see it in the way I behave and especially in what I say. I am a very vocal person and I notice what is going on with me. I had to sit down and ask myself exactly what it is that is making me unhappy and resolve it.
  13. muthoni

    muthoni Active Contributor

    You got me thinking with this question. I would have to say that I am happy with all the challenges going on in life right now. To be honest I could be happier if things worked out as I hoped. I have realized that in this life it is necessary to find a way to be happy because there are so many challenges that can make one miserable. Yes indeed I am happy.
  14. musicmonster

    musicmonster Senior Contributor

    I would say I am happy these days. I have been stressed free and not worried about a single thing. I have learned to trust God in my life.
    Zyni likes this.
  15. joshua minaya

    joshua minaya Active Contributor

    Oh yes emotions do not always act or remain constant it is a constantly evolving process. That is why it is left for the individual to fine tune his or her mindset to be in the best state of mind. Nobody is always happy all the time and no one should always be sad all the time.
  16. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I'm not going to say I'm happy because I really am not. Sometimes, I do feel depressed and very sad and lonely, but I try to be positive about everything, that someday it will be all right. It's actually tough to battle depression specially when there are so many problems you are encountering, but I'm trying to be fine. I am grateful though for my family and friends who are always there for me whenever I need them.
  17. cowboyz4life

    cowboyz4life Member

    I know I am happy. I have a great family, a good job and my health. I have been through a lot of things and I am still here. Since I can say that, I can say I am very happy.
  18. kjonesm1

    kjonesm1 Community Champion

    I can't say I'm always happy, but I'm generally in a good mood. I tend to see the brighter side of things and think long term. When I can feel my mood about to change I like to stop and ask myself 'how will I feel about this in a year'. Nine times out of ten I realize most things are not that important.
  19. RingoBerry

    RingoBerry Senior Contributor

    Happiness for me means having this sincere feeling of content. There will always be something in our lives that would leave us feeling even the least bit anxious but I look at it as a hint that I (as a person) still need to improve on a lot of other things, but right now I am happy that everything in my life is moving forward and falling into place. It may not happen as fast as I want it to but at least everything is falling into place.
  20. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    Sometimes when I am alone I often ask myself "I am happy in my life?"...I had a family who loves and support me all through the way in my journey in life in this world. I had true and caring friends too who are there for me in good and bad times of my life and they never leave me. But still sometimes I am still wandering and thinking if I find already the true meaning of happiness...But I know there is no need to ask for anything more because for myself I can say that I am happy in my life now...