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At what point is too far?

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by Pamphleteer, Apr 7, 2016.

  1. Pamphleteer

    Pamphleteer Member

    Hey everyone. So I am the type of person that generally doesn't care too much if somebody does drugs or alcohol as long as they don't overdo it, and don't rely too heavily on it. For instance my good friend likes to drink, but he only does it once in a while so to me I don't see it as much of a problem. However whenever he gets drunk, he ends up going too far and puking/feeling sick. When should I step in? I don't want to be a killjoy but at the same time I don't want to see him get hurt!
  2. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    I honestly think that even if someone is drinking not that frequently, but they're getting to the point that they're throwing up when they do - then their relationship with alcohol just doesn't sound healthy. Sure, they may not be what you'd refer to as an addict if we're talking simply by 'amount' of times in a week they drink, but it's certainly not good to be so intoxicated that you're vomiting, you know?

    I think a heart to heart with your friend wouldn't hurt. Be honest. Say you're worried about their health and that it's scary seeing them get that sick. I think genuine conversations with heartfelt emotions are a good place to start.

    Kudos to you for worrying about your friend!
  3. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    Definitely sit down and talk to your friend and express your concerns. He may not drink everyday but he does have a problem when he has to drink to extreme when he does drink. Drinking to that extreme is not good for his health. I think you have every right to be concerned about your friend.
  4. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    Well it sounds like he either is not aware of how much he is drinking, or lets it get out of control. I think everyone who drinks has thrown up at one time or another..but a regular thing is a bit too much. I would let him know you have concerns that his relationship with alcohol does not seem healthy.
    Novelangel likes this.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Just sit down and have an honest, heart-to-heart conversation with your friend. Just tell him how you feel, and that you're concerned for his well-being. Hopefully he'll take what you tell him and use it as the basis for change. And if he doesn't, at least you know that you tried.
  6. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    I think you already described what going too far is. If it gets to the point of getting sick and puking than that's too much. Drinking in moderation is something completely different. It's when you overdo it problems start.
  7. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    If you are a really good friend then you @Pamphleteer need to kill his so-called joy. There is no joy in going over the top and not being able to control yourself. Rather it is best to come out clean and let him know his acts are not responsible in any way.
  8. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Here are some criteria or signals that will help you realize it's time to intervene: 1) when consumption of the substance has become frequent (you start seeing your friend drunk all the time), 2) when he always becomes depressed and finds several reasons to drink (i.e. lonely, want to feel happy, etc.), and 3) when your friend starts to be verbally or behaviorally abusive to loved ones or random people. All the best!
  9. FenWoFon

    FenWoFon Active Contributor

    In my opinion it's too far when you don't control yourself anymore and you end up doing some stupid stuff all by yourself, putting more people in danger while you are intoxicated and even risking your life for real, it ain't no joke. If you consume alcohol you must be wary of the consequences that come with ingesting it to a point where you get blanked by it, pretty much when you lose control of yourself that's too far.
  10. ejorman1010

    ejorman1010 Senior Contributor

    When you see get to the point of not being able to walk or blacking out, you should encourage him to stop. Take the drinks out of his hand if you have to. Call a cab and send him home if you feel like he's going to far.
  11. Pamphleteer

    Pamphleteer Member

    Thank you so much everybody for all the responses. I talked to him a bit about it and he agreed he can go a bit too far and that he should ease up in the future. I really appreciate you guys helping me through this!
  12. Damien Lee

    Damien Lee Community Champion

    Just talk to your friend and let him know about your concerns. It's best to do it in a way that doesn't come across as preachy. I also have a friend that would let his alcohol intake get out of control on some weekends. He started minimizing his drinking when he started dating, I guess he realized drunkenness would not be appreciated by the opposite sex.
  13. djolem

    djolem Senior Contributor

    There's a thing called a gentleman. You either have that or don't. Even when you drink you know when to stop or if you need not to stop and get wasted and puke, then you do it by yourself, isolated from others because it is really not cool to put your friends in that position where they have to carry you and even fight with somebody because you said some stupid thing. Of course it is not good for you too because you could get hurt, etc.. Bottom line is be a gentleman always.
  14. Mara

    Mara Community Champion

    Who wants to be the killjoy eh? No one. But when it comes to a point that your friend is becoming a danger to himself because of his drinking, then to hell with that joy. There are many ways to have fun without alcohol. Your friend will just have to make do without it.
    Andrew2310 likes this.
  15. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    I don't think you should step in, unless you are sure your friendship with this person is strong, but generally speaking most people don't take it very well when they get unwanted advice. Plus... if the person doesn't see their vice as a problem, there is nothing you can tell to make them change their mind. The desire to change must come from within.
  16. henry

    henry Community Champion

    I think he goes too far because he does not know how to drink. If he's not addicted, he won't mind if you set him a limit. If he doesn't listen, just film him with your phone when he's drunk, and tell him that's what happens every time he has more than 2 or 3 drinks.
  17. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I think it's all too easy for people to say if a person is drinking that much they're making themselves sick, then they must have a problem, but I dint think that's always necessarily the case.

    I was an alcoholic and I was drinking regularly on a daily basis but I've never been sick off alcohol in my life. Some people have 2 or 3 drinks and can't handle anymore, so for me it's all about the tolerance.
  18. 111kg

    111kg Community Champion

    Honestly, I think that you should say it upfront about your friend that in the moment he'll be close to the edge you will be stepping in, because you don't want to get in trouble or see him/her do stupid things. Put the things straight and you should be fine.
    Andrew2310 likes this.
  19. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Saying things upfront and honestly is the only way to do it, if you are going to tackle a person about their addiction.

    It's important to do it in a way that they know it's because you care, and not just because you're trying to cause trouble or tell them what to do.
    Andrew2310 likes this.
  20. Novelangel

    Novelangel Active Contributor

    I agree completely. For some people, passing out cold in a puddle of vomit is the only way they will stop drinking, and that is not only unhealthy in the long run but can be very risky in the short term as well. People who can't control how much they consume, or know their limit, are treading in dangerous waters and eventually they will drown.