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Bad Breakup

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by mibi, Mar 25, 2015.

  1. mibi

    mibi Member

    I currently just had a bad breakup and I am not sure if I am ever going to get over it. I am trying my best to not drink a lot, sticking with wine but I have been drinking so much lately, It helps me forget the pain and I do crazy things when I am drunk, things I am scared to say because I know I'll be judged for my actions but the wine and the beer is helping me get through it and I have no other option.
  2. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    I've been through some very bad breakups in the past. The pain was intense. I considered drugs, vengeance, etc but I came to realize that nothing I did would soothe my pain. The only way to deal with it all, was to move on difficult though it was. I've yet to get over it but at least it doesn't hurt as much as it did. Try to let go of the past and stumble on into the future.

    “Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness.” — Steve Maraboli.
    MrsJones likes this.
  3. sazzydan

    sazzydan Active Contributor

    I have had my fair share of hard break ups, including splitting with the mother of my child and it is hard at times. I can safely say from experience that drinking only numbs the pain and does not help in the long run.

    I would suggest getting a couple of friends together and going out if you want to have a drink, it is much better than sitting in alone drinking because that will make you feel worse in the end, and does not give you the closure that you need in a situation like this.

    As hard as it is now, it will get better eventually, it just takes time. Use drinking as a treat, not something you do all the time.
  4. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    I had been in a break up before with my first boyfriend and I was really hurt and in so much pain because all I knew is that he is working in another country to prepare for our plans to get married. It was a long distance relationship since he went away and I do not expect that things to happened. She met someone there until we lost communication already. All I knew is that when he came back he will get married already. His family and my family are surprised because we were childhood friend until we became boyfriend girlfriend. And we were just neighbors that is why it is very painful. We had the chance to talked on the night before his marriage and he asked sorry for what had happened and he admitted it is his fault and that he had been tempted in one situation while he was there. Even though it is hard to accept it but still I learned to forgave him because I do not like to live my life with hatred in my heart. Luckily I met someone after that and who is now my husband who had filled everything that I had lost before and we are happy in our married life with God at the center of our relationship. If you experienced a crisis in your life any toxic substances are not the answer for you to forget what had happened to you. Maybe she is not the right woman for you that is why it happened. There is a right perfect time for all the things that will happen to our life. Just be strong in your faith and God will give you His blessings.
  5. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I think most people can relate to that. I myself have also been in a few bad break ups/relationships and its very easy to let it affect the rest of your life. While its hard to see a way through it at the time the best thing is to try and carry on living your life the nest way you can.

    Eventually, taking things day by day it gets easier to deal with and while the pain can remain for a long time, you get a sense of maybe it was for the best.
  6. imperivm1

    imperivm1 Community Champion

    I take it you're in your twenties at most. Relationships come and go while we're young. Only select few manage to maintain the stability of a single relationship for decades. The average person will usually meet someone, engage in a relationship, then break up with that someone, find someone else, and start the process all over again. Eventually you'll become numb to these changes. Life goes on.
  7. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    If you still love that person then of course it's gonna hurt, as compared to breaking up when you don't love that person anymore. My advice would be to not let it affect your work or studies too much, because the pain that you feel now will eventually pass. It may take a few months or even years, but as days go by, you will eventually notice that the incident that made you cry the moment you think about it does not have the same devastating effect that it used to. Time heals all wounds.
  8. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I have never experienced a really bad break up because I never had a boyfriend before. But I know the feeling of being heartbroken and I know that it's too painful. I think you are just resorting to alcohol because it's your coping mechanism, and I don't see anything wrong with that. I just hope that once you moved on from your previous partner, you'll be able to let go of drinking wine as well. Good luck. Take your time.
  9. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    Remember that drinking is just a temporary solution. In the future drinking a lot will only cause problems to your body and you're going to regret your actions from now.
    A bad break-up shouldn't be the end of the world. You're going to find the perfect girl/boy for you eventually, you are just hurt right now. Allow yourself to suffer for a bit, then you're going to slowly heal. You only need time and a clear mind.
  10. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Sorry for what happened but as we all know, problem is cannot be solved by another problem.
    Find ways to make yourself occupied with better things than drinking. If you have someone you can talk to, spend time to talk and it could somewhat help you feel better.
  11. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I think it's okay to indulge and allow yourself to feel miserable so that you could be done with it. The only thing you really have to watch out for is not to be too relaxed and form a habit out of it without you being aware. If you stay on top of things and allow yourself some guiltless recuperation then you won't have to worry as much since you won't need to feed the cycle of guilt and instead just go through the experience fully and move on.
  12. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    Until you completely stop that is when you will consider yourself in a better position. Alcohol makes you forget about your problems for a short period of time. But when you become sober,you realise that the same problems are before you. Get to know what makes you to have stress instead of trying to suppress it. Ask for advice from family members and friends since they can help.
  13. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    It is always a habit to go straight to the alcohol whenever you are going through some tough times. I suggest finding a friend or a family member who you can confide in and just talk about the whole thing rather than just staying quiet and drinking yourself away.
  14. May102014

    May102014 Active Contributor

    Cheer up! It's not like the world's gonna end. Just understand that everything happens for a reason. Thing's may not be okay for now but in time it will be. Let go and live life to the fullest.
  15. AFKATafcar

    AFKATafcar Community Champion

    It's true that relationships ending can hit us pretty hard, especially when we're younger. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but the truth is that one person won't make or break our entire lives. We're not defined by others and relationships. We're defined by what we do with ourselves when things are both good and bad!
  16. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    I can tell you now alcohol will not solve your problems. They will still be there when you sober up in the morning. Trust me I know. I've been there before. Alcohol is never the solution, it just numbs you from the pain, but the pain never goes away. Address the pain and not the numbing, all wounds heal in time. Just address the problem.
  17. Nick Anthony

    Nick Anthony Active Contributor

    Honestly, I think the best thing for you to get over the break up is to go meet other women. You don't have to get into any relationship with them, but it's definitely going to be best for you to have a few quick hook-ups. Also, this is a far better decision than drinking to get over the pain of a break up. You need to make sure your own ecosystem of happiness doesn't depend on women from now on so you don't get hurt this badly.
  18. JoanMcWench

    JoanMcWench Community Champion

    You ALWAYS have other options. You've just chosen the deceptively easy one. Talking things through with friends (even strangers online) is a great way to release feelings you're bottling up. You say you drink in order to forget but can we be honest for a moment? You know that's not the case. You know there are times when you drink only to revel in the feelings you had over this person. Or asking yourself worthless questions of 'why' when you should be moving on. We believe it's helpful until we realize otherwise.
  19. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I think most of us can relate to a bad break up at least once in our lives. They hurt at first, especially of you were not the one who initiated the break up or were expecting it. You can't drown yourself in drugs or alcohol because this is a time in your life when you need to have the most focus as you have to plan for your future. The thing to remember is that the pain will fade a little with each passing day, until it no longer hurts and you are ready to move on to better things in your life.
  20. Johnsnow123

    Johnsnow123 Active Contributor

    I currently have a girlfriend and I would be really hurt if she broke up with me. You have to move on though. You'lll find that special someone one day and doing drugs and alcohol won't help with that. It will only ruin your future like it did for me. I was always so depressed but now that I've stepped away from the harmful substances, I found hope and now I'm with somebody I love. If I would've still had my addiction, I could almost guarantee she wouldn't want to be with a man like me.