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Bad Breakup

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by mibi, Mar 25, 2015.

  1. mibi

    mibi Member

    I currently just had a bad breakup and I am not sure if I am ever going to get over it. I am trying my best to not drink a lot, sticking with wine but I have been drinking so much lately, It helps me forget the pain and I do crazy things when I am drunk, things I am scared to say because I know I'll be judged for my actions but the wine and the beer is helping me get through it and I have no other option.
  2. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    I know it doesn't seem like it right now but you WILL get over this, it just takes time. The thing is, if drinking is causing you to do things that you are ashamed of then it isn't helping you through this at all. In fact, it's only making things worse. You already feel bad enough as it is, you don't need the embarassment of having done something silly to make you feel even worse do you? By drinking, you are perpetuating a cycle of feeling bad, having a drink, doing something silly, feeling even worse and having another drink to cope. You need to break the cycle.

    Can you make tomorrow an alcohol-free day? Do you think that's something you could manage? Find a good movie or book to distract yourself with and try and make it an alcohol-free day. Nobody is saying that you have to stop drinking forever, not at all, but if alcohol is causing you to make an ass of yourself, it's probably time to cut down.
  3. mibi

    mibi Member

    I've tried to focus on other things, I just started a new book and I'm also watching a new show but I end up having wine while I watch my show. It worse on the weekends because Im usually free I tend to over do it but I'm trying to cut down my daily intake but once I remember it I just drink, it's better than facing reality.
  4. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    Man, don't be too hard on yourself! Allow yourself to drink, not too much, but you have to cope with it for now until things get easier. Try to go no-contact with her for now, block her everywhere and give yourself time to get over this. It won't be easy, but you'll be fine and in a much better place in the future!
    You're gonna find the one eventually, don't worry about that.
  5. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    It is ok to have a few drinks, but please, for your own sake, do not overdo it. I know that it is difficult to see where the line for that is, but please try to find it.
  6. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    It is awful, I know myself how it feels. It took me a long time to adjust to a "normal" state of mind again.
    I would like to say to you that it might be a good idea to allow yourself to grieve, to be angry, to digest and process things in which ever way you can. Numbing yourself helps temporarily, but later you might feel even more miserable. Going with the flow will help, and so will listening to your inner voice. Any sporadic excessive behavior might harm you. Be gentle with yourself.
  7. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    I noticed that if I am very busy, I would be very preoccupied and I temporarily forget that I am sad. Although if the situation is very fresh, then of course you need to wallow in that feeling as a form of release. Since time heals all wounds, you just need to take it one step at a time. Grieve if you have to, but don't drink more than what you can handle.
  8. TommyVercetti

    TommyVercetti Community Champion

    Drinking is easy. It's the easiest thing in the world if you are hurting, but you know that it doesn't do you or your body any favors. Instead of drowning your sorrows, move on to other activities that are less destructive and more constructive, like hobbies.
  9. kjonesm1

    kjonesm1 Community Champion

    There are tons of options! Work out, get that body ready for a rebound and get back on the market. At the very least you need to make your ex regret the break up next time she sees you. You need to do something to make you really feel better about yourself instead of mask your feelings by drowning them out with alcohol.
  10. imperivm1

    imperivm1 Community Champion

    First of all, you will not be judged for your actions here. Our job is not to judge, but rather to encourage. Second of all, you WILL eventually get over him/her. Time heals everything. And it's not just a cliche, it really does. I know it's painful in the beginning but gradually you'll start realizing that the pain has subsided. It might never go away but it will definitely become manageable. Don't worry.
  11. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I think what's important here is not to feel too guilty for drinking to ease the pain. We all have our weak moments, and I believe that feeling guilty for being weak at the moment can lead to an even bigger problem. Just allow yourself to grieve and don't expect it to all get better instantly, and in turn also don't expect alcohol to sort out your problems. If you keep your perspective in the right place then even if you over indulge at times you should still be relatively safe.
  12. Diana S.

    Diana S. Member

    I just ended a 6 years relationship a week ago and I know how you might feel. In our first years together our lifes were full of drama and arguments that sometimes evolved in breakups which lasted for a couple of weeks. When I was younger (16) I thought that my world was crushing down without him and after a certain time I would end up with him again.
    You have to stay strong and I recommend you to go out and meet new people even if you don't feel like doing this, but trust me , if you will connect with someone things will start to get better. I analysed all the possibilities for me to feel better and this one works. I wouldn't say to rush things and develop a romantic connection with someone, it might be to soon. Try to give up the alcohol if you feel that it's interfering with your day to day actions, alcohol can make you depressed .
  13. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    Mibi, I am here to tell you that you WILL get over it and no one here is going to judge your actions no matter how terrible you think they were. We are all here to help you find ways to get rid of the pain without resorting to the bottle.

    Many of us were right there where you are but with effort and determination we made it. It's not an overnight thing, but you have to put in the effort for saving YOU now. Time is a healer not alcohol. You will be fine in time and you should know that you have friends here who are cheering you on.
  14. Profit5500

    Profit5500 Senior Contributor

    I feel so sorry for you that you had your break up and are trying to get over it. I wish that I could really help you out but I am in place where I am trying to fix myself too. Maybe you got to let this person go and move on but drinking wine or beer to ease the pain is not really worth your life.
  15. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    I won't really condemn your chosen coping mechanism but here's my challenge to you: you have to stop drinking and wasting away because continuing to do so would mean you have somewhat lost to the person who broke your heart. There's a better person for you out there and it wouldn't be nice to meet him the way you are now.
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2015
  16. Profit5500

    Profit5500 Senior Contributor

    I still feel bad for the guy but what you are saying is also true too. You cannot use alcohol as a way of coping after a bad breakup. It would just mean that you are not over that person.
  17. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Well alcohol temporarily numbs the pain but after that temporary relief, you will still come back to reality. So there's basically no point in taking alcohol except to drink and forget. Besides, that person isn't the only one capable of loving you. Think of your family and friends who love you just as much if not more. These are the people who matter because they're able to stand beside you through thick and thin.
  18. TommyVercetti

    TommyVercetti Community Champion

    Look at it this way: you're not doing yourself any favors. Drinking will only plunge you deeper into the rabbit hole of depression. If you need closure, you better do it fast, before you succumb to your vices.
  19. wahmed

    wahmed Active Contributor

    The thing is hurt is hurt and it feels like it will never go away. The thing is life goes on will go on and you'll look back thinking " why did I feel that way" do yourself a favour and stay away from the alcohol. Dont ruin your life
  20. kana_marie

    kana_marie Community Champion

    You should go back and read some of my posts. I said a lot of things that would get me judged. But these are the right people to talk to about it. They have never judged me. They have helped me find more answers than I had questions.

    As for the break up, you'll get over it. It'll take time but time heals all wounds... including a broken heart.
    stariie likes this.