I think a major issue many family members/friends deal with is the "after glow" of recovery. Often when we see an addict doing well, we have wanted for so long for this to occur... that we go into a denial. We see what we want to see. Imagine an addict going through a 30 day rehab, comes home clean and things seem to be going good. Those around the addict often think everything is behind them. The disease is under control, the person is back to normal and life has tons of possibilities. These are the people who are in denial, and they suffer greatly when reality hits. Recovery does not make everything great and rosy. Often recovery creates new problems. The addict most likely used substances to deal with stress in their lives and now they must deal with stress without it. It can be an uncharted territory for them. Often the same traits/reactions the addict had while using can re-emerge, which can confuse those around him/her. Always be aware that relapse in the beginning is probably. Just because the person is trying and is clean right now, does not mean it is "over". The same way someone on a diet has temptations to cheat and grab some chocolate, the addict will have cravings. Don't drive yourself crazy by failing into the "it's over" trap. It is not over... it will never be "over" because it is a lifetime condition. It can get better.. but be aware it can return. Don't hate the addict, hate the disease.