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Ben Is Back movie about addiction w/ Julia Roberts.

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by Dominica, Oct 15, 2018.

  1. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    Looks like an excellent movie about addiction... more specifically a mother and her son who struggles with addiction. Looks powerful..... (Starring Julia Roberts)

    Coming in December

    cheffy, True concern and deanokat like this.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    So much of that hits very close to home. Hard to watch, but I will go see it. I hope it sheds some light on what parents go through when their child struggles with addiction.
    cheffy and True concern like this.
  3. lamy45

    lamy45 Member

    Brings tears to my eyes ,i am deeply ashamed about what i put my wife through ,all i can do at this precise moment is to stay clean and sober for her ,i wish i could do more .
    cheffy, Dominica and True concern like this.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @lamy45... Try not to be ashamed, my friend. You are not a bad person. You were a sick person. Just keep working on yourself and do everything you can to maintain your sobriety. Live in the light of today, not in the dark of the past. We're here for you anytime you need support or someone to listen.
    cheffy and True concern like this.
  5. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I know exactly exactly what you feel,and your correct stay sober and do right by her.Below is my story and I let shame control me for 20 year's but NO LONGER I push forward and focus on progress not perfection.

    This is my story of addiction.I was born in the early 80's at the age of six year's old i was diagnosed with A.D.H.D.at that time there was a new F.D.A.approved drug by the name of Ritalin.At first it seemed to be a miracle pill,I was on this pill until the age of 18 at that time i decided i was no longer going to take this pill and it began just under a year passed and someone said "Have you ever tried crystal"which i had not at that time but i tried it and instantly noticed that it was 100% the same effect i got from Ritalin only difference was it lasted longer,or seemed to but honestly it was probably the quantity i was doing was greater than that of Ritalin i struggled with meth on and off for roughly 20 year's,not only meth but i was as well consuming 750ml of Jack Daniel's a day plus a 12 pack of beer.For those who don't know when you mix the two you don't appear to get drunk which is very deadly because infact you do get drunk however you don't realise it until it's too late meaning alcohol poisoning.I experienced this a few times and actually died on a hospital bed due to this fact,it took 3 hits with a defibrillator to restart my heart and i was told the only reason I was hit 3 times was because i was only 19 year's old,but usually after the second time if your heart doesn't restart you are then pronounced dead,but a nurse pleaded with the Dr.to try one more time and he did and my heart started back up.I didn't know at the time but that nurse was actually the mother of the lead singer of Sublime who just lost her son to a heroin overdose.I am forever grateful for that nurse without her plea i would be another statistic.Unfortunately I didn't quite using drug's at that time i just traded substances.I started abusing pain pills heavily and increased that addiction to catastrophic proportions,it got so bad i started injecting heroin which i quickly traded for oxycontin because it was much stronger than heroin.I abused fentanyl as well but nothing compared to the oxycontin.At my worst i was injecting 240-320mg's of oxycontin a day,feeling i wouldn't survive another month i decided to seek help.I'm poor and i come from poor parent's so my options were limited,i ended up at a methadone clinic for help slowly decreasing my extremely high tolerance.At the clinic i had an interview with a drug addiction counselor and an addiction physician,i was hoping for good news but what i heard shock me to my core.I was told by both the same thing,"Sir we are sorry to tell you but your addiction and tolerance is beyond the point of return,whether you quit or continue either way you cannot survive you have if your lucky a month to live"My heart sank and i decided at that moment if i was going to die i would die trying.I went home and prayed and then i called my wife into the room to tell her the news.At that moment i apologized to her told her how much she meant to me and made her promise if i didn't make it she would move on re marry and live a happy life and she noded yes.After that i quite cold turkey and suffered pain and sickness i cannot describe,for 27 straight day's i did not leave the bedroom,i did not eat,i did not sleep,i hallucinated,i screamed in intense unimaginable pain,i lost over 50 pound's in that time frame and had to be rushed to the hospital 3 time's where they would rehydrate me and try to give me pain shots to stall the detox which i refused.On day 28 I took my first steps after i quite and by the grace of God i survived and this May im married 18 year's to my beautiful wife and guardian angel.This is the first time I've shared my story of addiction and i did it for one reason alone,i want everyone to know i understand what you are going through and no matter how bad it gets there is hope.I'm here for each and everyone of you,if you ever need someone to talk to,if you ever feel no one understands im all ears and i do understand.Stay Strong We're rooting for you.

    Take Care Your Now Winning and your addiction is losing strength. Live in the moment, sober,honest,caring,compassionate, etc Finish destroying the control your addiction has ,you are not your addiction and what you do from here on out will be what defines you.Hug your wife,look her deep in the eye's, stare into her soul and tell her your back for good,you will never leave her in that situation again,slowly and softly grab her by the face and give her a passionate kiss.You got this my friend, we all make mistakes, we are human,now take that shame you feel and turn it into passion for the love of your life
    cheffy and deanokat like this.
  6. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @lamy45 I agree that you can go ahead and let that feeling of shame go. The part of you that was lost in addiction and acted in ways that you now regret, was not the real part of you. It was the wounded, egoic part of you. And now you have the opportunity to continue to heal that part of you, and step more into your authentic, powerful self. Your core self, and from there your potential is astounding.

    Trust the process.

    “Your best days are ahead of you. The movie starts when the guy gets sober and puts his life back together; it doesn’t end there.” Bucky Sinister
    cheffy, deanokat and True concern like this.
  7. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @True concern "Hug your wife,look her deep in the eye's, stare into her soul and tell her your back for good,you will never leave her in that situation again,slowly and softly grab her by the face and give her a passionate kiss."

    And women around the world thank you for this advice ;):D:rolleyes:
    cheffy, deanokat and True concern like this.
  8. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I said something good?:confused:I hope still deep within my heart my wife will one day meet the new me.I think I could be a good husband now,time will tell:eek:.
    cheffy, deanokat and Dominica like this.
  9. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    Was this a good movie? Preview made me cry. Would this movie make me hate myself or is it uplifting?
    I say that because that's what I did to my parents, so is it a movie for the son or daughter, or the parent?
    cheffy likes this.
  10. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @Joshstillclean i liked the movie... i think it would be challenging for parents with sons or daughters struggling... but also could be for those who have struggled. i think it shows a lot from the parents point of view that often goes unnoticed or unknown. you could give it a try with a commitment to practice SELF-LOVE... ok?
    Joshstillclean and deanokat like this.
  11. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    I haven't been able to watch it yet. And after my son's overdose of a couple of weeks ago, I'm guessing it'll be a while longer before I can.
    Joshstillclean likes this.
  12. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    Umm ill think about it. (I type as I firmly decide I cannot EVER watch this movie as long as I live)...
    That movie flight with denzel Washington came out at a time when I was trying to get clean. And the hotel scene where he gets so drunk from the minibar that they call the dope,man with the coke to get him up and going had me Locked up in the theater. I was afraid to leave because I would use. But i couldn't watch either. That was a bad experience.
    It was just so real. I don't see how anyone can act like a drunk/addict so well...unless they've been there or "studied addict behavior" and why would you EVER want to do that?
    deanokat likes this.
  13. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    I just watched this and it had me laughing in parts. Some parts had me saying oh wow, you didn't? And by the end I was sobbing. It is very true to life and hard to watch but a must see. If you see it and feel bad about yourself, don't! You are sick! You would never have done things to your loved ones if you were well. After I cried, I felt better. I needed a good cry.
  14. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    i cried alot. whole lot. the last scene where she gives him the narcan is what did it though. my son gave me narcan. ive been clean from H for almost 3 years...do the math. im glad i saw it though it gave me a new appreciation for what my family has done for me.
    also , they did a very good job at making it true to life. best-if that word can be used here-movie about dope use ive ever seen.
    DoxyMom likes this.
  15. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    my son is ten, i guess yo need to know that to do the math. BTW im left handed unfortunately. and i cant feel almost half of my left hand, except for the occasional jolt of electricity. reatached fongers. so forgive the typos but know im aware of them and think you all are smart enough to know what i mean. some days my hand jsust wont work as well so it makes it harder to hit the right keys. i just wont take the time to fix them all. i get the biggies tho
    Onceaddicted77 and True concern like this.
  16. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    The drug store wouldn't give her a new prescription of Narcan. They didn't carry it because they said it supports risky behavior. The same pharmacy gave him needles though. WTF?
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.
  17. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    Thinking about it from that side of things has given me an answer to how help a loved one. I'm about to pull another allnighter and write this. I actually was really touched by this as my mom and I spent an entire 24 hrs together while on visitation. She did the whole go stand outside the bathroom thing and all that. But if things had been different from the beginning then I would have never become the sever addict I was. I wrote a post the other day about how I wished my sons mo, would have asked me to stop...
    I wanted her to ask. I wanted to feel that love from her. She always had room for anger when I was f*coed up but never room to ask me because she feared for my life while we were not arguing.
    I wanted to feel the care she showed others. Others were addicts and she didn't hate them, she lived with me and she yelled until I quit listening. But if she had ask an me to stop, I would have gone that day. Same with my sister, claimed to love it never wanted me around. Heck if she's gonna yell at me tell me its because I'm scaring her she's gonna loose her brother. I shut them out.
    I'm writing about this.
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.
  18. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    Remember when we were talking about watching intervention?I think I watched that show looking for me. I still haven't found anything close. I'm not the typical addict. I didn't allow things to get really bad. I was still running my business. I never went to jail. The worst thing I did was take money out of my husband's checking account. Doing that and getting caught is what made me get help. My life has never been boring but my addiction was. No one would make a movie or TV show about it.
  19. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    And your better off for it,like I said before you are not the typical addict and honestly you don't want to be.Be happy your not the addict story that ends up in a show or movie,your unique and you deserve a pain free,sober life...Trust me it's better than being exploited for ratings and Oscar's :)
    Joshstillclean likes this.
  20. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    I think one thing watching those shows did show me is how bad things could become if I let them. I'm sure if I never sought help, came here, went to the clinic, I would of ended up as worse than I was.

    This morning at the clinic I had a nurse I hadn't seen in a while. She said I forgot your number. I gave it to her plus my two empty bottles. She said, wow you get another for tomorrow. I said yes and next month I get my fourth. She was the dosing nurse on duty my first day there. She was so excited for me. She said you didn't mess around. You knew what you wanted and went for it. This is true. It was not easy by any means but in March I'll have a year clean on methadone. Thanks to that and the counseling that others grumble about I'm doing well. I make sure to work on my recovery every day and not get complacent. If I did then I might relapse.