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Breaking the cycle

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by kh6912, Mar 23, 2015.

  1. kh6912

    kh6912 Member

    I come from a family of addicts. I learned of this fact at age 9, when my missing-in-action father sent me a letter on my birthday explaining his "sickness". I remember crying into my mother's arms for a long time that night.

    For some reason, my young, impressionable brain decided that since my father was an addict, I must be too. So I began raiding my mother's medicine cabinet, finding narcotic painkillers and anti-anxiety medicine. To this day, my mother has never asked where all the pills went. I think she's still in denial, over a decade later.

    Over the next few years I grew more and more dependent on the pills, eventually hooking up with the "bad crowd" in school to feed my addiction. I remember it felt so glamorous, so exclusive..

    My father came back into my life when I was 13. He moved into these apartments in a nearby town, and I made sure to move in with him, thinking liver disease might not give me much more time to get to know him. My mother was devastated, but I was ecstatic. Living in town opened up many new doors for my addiction, as my father did not enforce many rules and even smoked and drank with me on several occasions. I met other young people on that bleak path. We were lucky to survive some of our endeavors. I know that now.

    It all came to a head when I was 16. I had recently gotten involved with a tattooed, pierced, "punk" 20 year old who was more than happy to provide me with pills. It came at a price, though, and that price was my virginity. Looking back, I am appalled and disgusted. At the time, it seemed only fair. He was abusive, manipulative, and isolated me from my family and friends. By that point, though, I was so doped up that I didn't care.

    Fortunately for me, it was only a month after I lost my virginity that I discovered I was pregnant. I wept in the floor of a local grocery store bathroom, stolen pregnancy test clutched in my hands. He was waiting for me outside the door. Reality hit me hard in that moment. 16 and pregnant, in an extremely toxic relationship, high as a kite.

    The father of my baby didn't stick around. I called my mother, and she came to pick me up and drag me back to her house to live and attend church. I suffered withdrawals in silence, told my mother it was pregnancy symptoms, newly determined to get my act together and be a good parent to my baby. No one really believed I would, but over the next several years, I proved them wrong. I haven't touched a pill since that day in the dirty floor of the bathroom. My baby is no longer a baby, but a beautiful young lady, and her mother is present, self aware, healthy, and happy. We added to the family when I married a wonderful, patient, kind man, and now my daughter has a baby sister.

    I realize now what a twisted relationship I had with my father. He is still struggling with drug abuse, but that is another story for another day.

    I am so thankful for my first daughter. If it weren't for her, I have no doubt I would be dead. Instead we are a functional, thriving family.

    If you've made it this far, thanks for listening. This isn't a story I tell many people, but it is one I don't dare forget.
    Joseph, stariie and xTinx like this.
  2. Sparkster

    Sparkster Community Champion

    Congratulations on managing to successfully turn your life around. This is clearly a heart-felt story which should come as both a warning and an inspiration to others. As you discovered for yourself, substance abuse is never worth it and many people don't think about the long-term consequences or the possibilities of what could happen when they are blinded by the substances they use. I'm sorry that your father continues to misuse substances but on the positive side of things, it has taught you a lesson you may have otherwise never learned and you now have two beautiful daughters to care for and look after. Stay safe and keep your children safe.
  3. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    First and foremost, thank you for coming here to tell your story. Everyone on the forum is so proud of you for being able to turn your whole life around. I am sure that someone here can completely relate to this story and needed to hear what you have said. I hope that your family and your daughter are doing fine right now. It's so good that you got away from that manipulative douche. That could have taken you down a terrible road.
  4. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    You went full cycle and came out stronger and with a complete personality. You realized your mistakes when you fell pregnant and you were able to make a complete change if only for your daughter. I admire your resilience and your determination to turn things around. I wish you and your family the very best.
  5. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. That's good to know that you are able to realize everything before it gets too late for you to start over again. I wish your family all the best in life. ;):)
  6. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    All the best to you KH6912! You've been through a lot during your teenage years but I'm glad you did your best to keep your child and raise her into a beautiful young lady. Although some people consider their untimely pregnancy as a curse, you're now in a good place because you have treated your own untimely pregnancy as a blessing. More happiness to you and may struggling individuals be inspired by you.
  7. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    An inspirational story. Those who think they can't fight their addiction because it's "in their blood" ought to read this.

    I'm sure your experience and lessons learned armed you with all the wisdom you needed to not only ensure your daughters don't head down that slippery slope but also [possibly] help others who may find themselves in similar situations. Even here on this forum I'm certain that your advice would be valuable to many users who truly desire to give up their addictions.

  8. Pinoy Jade

    Pinoy Jade Active Contributor

    its good to break the cycle. I also come from a family of alcohol addicts and i guess i should be out of the cycle and would start a new cycle for my family. A better cycle with a better future for my future kids and grandkids
  9. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    It is really good to know that you have managed to get over it and be who you are now. Having a happy family could keep you motivated in not using those substances anymore. Always be reminded of the things that you can have when living clean.
  10. anne16

    anne16 Active Contributor

    This is such an inspiring story! How I wish a lot of people having this problem would have somebody with them to help them and inspire them to change for the better. Unfortunately, not all have a happy ending like yours. But with more people like you sharing their stories, I am sure that more and more people can find the inspiration to change and be better.
  11. Christian

    Christian Community Organizer Community Listener

    I really appreciate you sharing that no matter what the circumstances there is hope. I too come from a family that has addiction on both sides and breaking the cycle is definitely a challenge, to put it mildly. This is such a great story and I commend you for coming out on the other side of this traumatic situation a success story. There were so many other easier options and its inspiring to hear about young women that turn their lives around and embrace motherhood and use it as a catalyst for change.
  12. stariie

    stariie Community Champion

    Very inspiring story, and it is great for you and your daughter (now 2) that you got yourself together. It is admirable that you were able to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, quit your bad habits and get back to the business of living when you were such a young lady. I know people 2 and 3 times your age that have not gotten their act together yet, even though they have kids.

    Very moving story. You seem very strong and determined to do wise, productive things in your life.
  13. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    What an amazing story to read. It was really brave of you to share this and I'm so happy that your life has turned around. I wish you every success with the rest of your life.
  14. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    I'm glad to you decided to choose the right path the moment you found out that you were pregnant, because some parents chose drugs and neglect their kids. You definitely are a survivor, and I wish you all the best for you and your family. Keep on being a good example to your family!