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Broken Relationships

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Friend' started by Jade Cowan, Nov 11, 2014.

  1. Jade Cowan

    Jade Cowan Member

    Ever since I was a young girl I have have grown up around drug addicts. My parents are or were drug addicts, so was my uncle and all their friends.
    I have been in and out of care and I have a broken relationship with my Mother.
    Am I the only one like this here?
  2. maryannballeras

    maryannballeras Senior Contributor

    Hi Jade! I know that it must be really hard for you to go through such things. I haven't experienced the same thing as you did but I'm pretty sure that there are other people here who can relate to you. Remember to just keep being strong and that you have a life ahead of you. We're here if you need someone to talk to.
  3. DancingLady

    DancingLady Community Champion

    No, there are many people who have broken relationships in their life for all sorts of reasons, not just drugs. Don't let it hold you back though. You don't have to stay in the cycle of broken relationships and bad home life. You can start fresh, make new friends and develop solid relationships. You may even find friends who become like your new family.
  4. LostmySis

    LostmySis Senior Contributor

    Nope. You are definitely not alone. My mother is the oldest of 10 kids. All of her brothers are addicts, her mother is an alcoholic, and my sister was an addict. It is a hard life, but if you do not feed into the insanity, you can learn from it. My mother never used, and she tried to keep us from seeing that part of life. I am far enough from it that I can see what not to do. However, addiction wreaked havoc on my romantic and sibling relationship. Most people have someone who has suffered from addiction. Sorry to hear your story, but we are here for you. :)
  5. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I think most families have a lot of problems, as only a few are fortunate enough to be born into a nearly perfect family, and even those still tend to have a few unexpected misfortunes from time to time. I'm sorry to hear of your many challenges, I really feel bad when I hear of people not getting a proper childhood. I hope you are able to sort it out. Just remember to keep your mind strong and to keep persevering. Seek help and understanding wherever you can find it, which is easier nowadays with the internet. Just be careful that the opinions you listen to are sincere and actually helpful as most of them are thinly veiled attempts at personal or political propaganda.
  6. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    All families that have had at least one parent hooked on drugs always have problems. My mother never touched drugs all her life but my old man drunk like a fish and his drinking and the stuff he did when he was drunk made the family split it up. So Jade, you are not alone. Most of has have been affected by drug abuse in one way or another.
  7. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    There are lots of families that are broken because of drug addiction and other types of addictions.
    My uncle was an alcoholic and he was separated and neglected the people around him. Some other relatives are addicted to substances and they have broken families.
  8. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    Hello Jade! You definitely are not the only one, I have a friend who is exactly in the same situation, only that his father and him were drug addicts, and his mother not. Because of that he has a broken relation with his father, never talked in the last 2 years or so, and life keeps getting pretty hard for him because he needs to work in order to make a living (he is the last year in high school too). Stay strong!
  9. gmckee1985

    gmckee1985 Senior Contributor

    so sorry to hear about your situation. luckily i grew up in a stable and loving home. never had anyone using drugs or alcohol around me. unfortunately, not a lot of kids have that luxury these days. were you able to have a somewhat normal life as an adult? or did all that drug abuse and that type of environment effect you seriously? i imagine it is tough to forgot a lot of things you saw as a child.
  10. Family gives a lot of influence in your life, but life is a choice. You have the freedom to choose what you want and decide on your own, and most importantly, decide to do what is right. It's not yet the end. If you have an addicted parents or family, it's not a good reason to be like them. Try to be the strength of the family instead. You can be their hope to have brighter relationships inside the family and a more colorful life together. Just show your love towards them and be a good example for them to realize that life is too short and too precious to be an addict.
  11. JessiFox

    JessiFox Active Contributor

    Not by any means- my dad wasn't in the picture when I was growing up, but he and my mom have both been doing drugs throughout most of my life. So have many of their friends and the people that I grew up around. I don't think that my relationship with either of them will ever be anything but "broken". I don't let it define me or even bother me as much as it used to, though. They've made their choices and chosen their priorities, and so have I- and our priorities will just never be compatible.
  12. aquariancore

    aquariancore Member

    I also come from a family of addicts either drugs or alcohol or cross addicted. Yes I have had to cut off one or another until they seek help. I have a brother I am currently detached from because he switched his addiction to prescription meds. It's not easy but sometimes it's a strp you have to take
  13. MandaMom12

    MandaMom12 Member

    My old roommate is severely addicted to pain killers. She doesn't even care to try and gain joint custody of her children, because then she'd have to cut back on when she can do her pills and how much money she can spend on them. I became absolutely disgusted with her behavior. I stuck around for over a year trying to help her, but she didn't care. Now we have no ties. I burned that bridge. I'm just glad her children are safe and living with their grandma who cares deeply for them.
  14. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    You are definitely not alone Jade Cowan. I know a lot of people, from my own family and friends, who have issues ranging from addictions to extra-marital affairs; thus, afflicting extreme emotional pains, producing wayward children and causing broken relationships. And I have seen how each one made their lives better or worse depending on their reactions and decisions. What's important is how you make your life different and rise up above your situation. It may be easier said than done, but we just have to bear in mind that indeed, "life is how we make it". Like what other people here have said, it is a matter of choice. While you were not able to choose the family you were born in, you now have the power to choose the life you want to lead.

    Wishing you peace and sensible decisions!
  15. wulfman

    wulfman Senior Contributor

    I cared deeply about a girl in college who was a habitual drug user. Eventually I broke it off after she refused to change and arguments became the norm about it. It hurt me because we did not even stay friends after.
  16. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    You're right and unfortunately there are just way too many parents out there who constantly find it hard to see that they should now be less self involved. I've seen parents ignore their children for many reasons and all of them have the common denominator of being self involved, regardless of what they use to escape reality whether it is drugs, alcohol, or even their religious beliefs and rituals.
  17. c9h2ua

    c9h2ua Member

    Sorry to hear that. No one wants to grow up in a broken relationship with other family members.
    However, I hope you can be strong. I know it is a hard time for you, but please trust in yourself, you will have a better situation.
  18. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    It is a difficult thing to deal with. Definitely not right and really messes with your head. Makes you feel like you are a problem and that there is something wrong with you. I don't know if knowing there are other people with the same problem helps. Maybe talking about it does. The irrational and erratic behavior is not the best to deal with. Nor is the irresponsibility that happens. My all time favorite has to be how they make you feel. You have a broken relationship with your Mom. Yeah I know all about that. The realization that they have a problem certainly takes all those feelings of being inadequate out of it. The real shame is how they have no clue how much damage they cause with this.
  19. YellowTrain

    YellowTrain Member

    I am happy that you are able to accept it. The fact that you can come out and say that, even on this forum, is a sign of hope. It is a sign that a healing process is ready to begin, or has already started happening. Keep your head up. Look for the small things, and they will add up. Cut out those who only hurt you, and try to reconcile with those you care about (even if they hurt you) every now and again. It takes two to change, and if they're not ready, that's okay. Give them time.
    mwixief likes this.
  20. jean

    jean Member

    drug is not the reason when you get broken hearted .. you should lived happy even you lost the one you love . don't waste your time with nonsense things .. you can still find another one which is better in the old one ..