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Cancelled Play-dates

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Child' started by darkrebelchild, Apr 6, 2016.

  1. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    If you had new neighbors who had the same family structure as yours and your children were the same ages (between 6 and 8); if you arranged play dates only to find out a night before the parents were using substances, what would you do?

    Would you cancel the play date or have their child come over instead of yours going over?
  2. DancingLady

    DancingLady Community Champion

    I would invite their child over. You definitely want to be involved with this family as you, a neighbor are in a prime position to help the parents make the decisions they need to make to get clean. If they need to go to rehab, attend meetings, ect, they are going to need someone to watch their kids.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    I agree with @DancingLady. Invite the child over to your place. And you may want to pick an appropriate time to have a conversation with your neighbors, too. There's nothing wrong with being concerned about the welfare of a child, IMO.
  4. smartmom

    smartmom Senior Contributor

    I have always been funny about my children. I would never allow my children to visit unless I was there with them. If their children wanted to come over then fine but my child would NEVER be left alone in their house. Too much is going on these days. To make it easier, I would probably cancel the play date. If the children needed to play together outside supervised by me then I would have no problem with this. If they need to have any feeling about this then too bad because our children are a gift that we are responsible for protecting. I have family members that look at me some type of way because I wont allow my children to stay over their house but their lives are a mess. Protect your children at every cost!!!!
  5. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    @OP, punish not the kids for the sins of their parents.

    As it has been suggested, don't cancel the play dates, just change the venue. And if you want to, you could go a step further and be the sort of friend the kids parents will trust. Someone who they won't see as a busybody trying to meddle in affairs that don't concern them as this will make it easier for you to offer advice that might probably get them to stop using drugs or they'll at least give it some consideration.
  6. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    Wow, that is a terrible thing to model for children. I am not talking about having a drink after work but if what they are doing is illegal, the kids are going to look at that as no big deal. Maybe you can as Rainman suggested forge a bond with them and get them to stop using substances, at least in front of the kids. Good Luck, but in the meantime yeah have the kids at your place to play.
  7. LoveEcho

    LoveEcho Community Champion

    I guess it really depends on the substance and how bad it is. I may call child services if I felt the children were in danger because of their substance abuse.