An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

Can't relax, need a drink

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by TripleD123, Apr 20, 2015.

  1. TripleD123

    TripleD123 Community Champion

    Lately I can't seem to come down from my stress and anxiety. I get so worked up and I am literally a living hell to be around I can just feel it. I try to focus my pent up energy in positive ways but I still am so tense and cannot just relax at the end of the day. Lately I have instantly been having a glass of wine the moment I get home from work since I am so stressed. I don't want to be a total ogre around my children and wine seems to be the only thing to ease my frustration and anger. I feel like this is probably not the correct direction I should be leading myself but I feel its necessary to be able to break the stress bubble I have surrounding me after a rough day at work....

    Thoughts, feelings, advice? I'm open to anything.
  2. adfnio

    adfnio Community Champion

    You can always try and get a quick workout before a long hot shower. Or maybe a hot tub bath to get soaked in hot water. That usually can get you relaxed. You might have been using alcohol to get relaxed for so long that it seems that there is no other alternative. Try the hot bath or shower. If you stay in there long enough, that should get you relaxed and loose.
  3. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I think it's just natural for some of us to seek alcohol when we feel a little bit stressed out from our daily responsibilities and work. It's just alright to drink once in a while, it's one way of coping mechanism. However, everything should be in moderation.
  4. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    You can resort to exercise. Try enrolling in a gym and schedule your exercise time at least three times per week. It can help release your inner tension in a positive way. Plus, it keeps you in good shape and optimum health. If you don't have time to go to the gym, there are instructional videos available in stores and thru the internet.
  5. AAngelo

    AAngelo Senior Contributor

    If you can control it and can say "X glass/es of wine is enough" then I see no problem in you drinking to relieve stress. Though I would take some of the suggestions our forum members are giving. I mean, that's how my drinking problem started. I thought I could flip a switch and I won't "need" to touch a bottle again. If you can find an alternative to drinking like exercising or the hot shower mentioned above, go for them instead.
  6. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    A lot of people when feeling stressful and anxious can resort to alcohol to try and keep them calm. I don't think your alone at all when it comes to that.

    Maybe a key thing is to first think about why your feeling that in the first place. Once you have found the reason then cutting that out of your life I'd you can will no doubt cut down on the feelings that you need a drink.
  7. TripleD123

    TripleD123 Community Champion

    I wish I could work in the time to exercise after work. I have 2 small children that miss me all day and want to spend time with me. I feel guilty if I take any time for myself and I try and rush home. I know the day will come that they don't want to spend so much time with me so I feel like this is the compromise. 1 Glass of wine makes me calm down. I know exercise would probably do the same but I feel like From 5:30 to bedtime is my kids time, not mine.
  8. gokoko

    gokoko Member

    One of the main reasons for drinking excessively and eating a lot of junk food is stress, anxiety, and depression. Just remember that through drinking, you are numbing the problems in your life and not getting to the root cause of it. Exercising, as mentioned above, is a miracle-worker when it comes to getting rid of stress. If you combine a regular exercise routine with a healthy diet, it will help to kill the negative emotions in your life, along with changing your habits of thinking and improving yourself. You can do this friend.
  9. musicmonster

    musicmonster Senior Contributor

    My number advice is that you sit, pause and think of nothing at all. Plug in some meditation music and try to find your center. This will calm you and you will realize you won't even need a single drink to make you feel relaxed.
  10. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    It is okay to drink a glass of wine from time to time, especially if it helps ease the pain. The advice that helped me when I was feeling numb and weird was to take a long, hot shower. It does wonders for your body and your mind, especially when you're having a hard time.
    Try it, see if you feel any better.
    TripleD123 likes this.
  11. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    I agree with what @FuZyOn said, for me it also works to drink a very strong coffee when I feel the urge to have a glass of wine. I know that most of the people never get totally rid of alcohol, so have a drink or two, but that's it, don't make a habit out of it again.
  12. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    For me, when I'm in a situation like you where I get that overwhelming desire to drink out of stress, there's a few things I do...

    - Exercise. For me this is KEY. It is the hardest thing to hear, sometimes, when you're stressed or anxious or depressed, but I always think of how I feel afterwards.
    - Time with my pets. My dog especially. He loves going for long walks, and I guess that ties into the exercise part of my anxiety relief too. Something about his personality just always snaps me out of my anxiety and puts things into perspective again.
    - Relaxing baths! For some reason water + bubbles is my idea of stress free heaven. Especially if I get some sort of bath bomb or bubble bath that is particularly nicely scented with essential oils and things like that. Makes me feel like I'm at a day spa, or something.
  13. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I don't think one glass of wine a day is too harmful especially if it's helping you relax and unwind after being stressed all day which arguably could prove to be even more harmful if just ignored. As much as I don't think self medicating is advisable, I understand that being a parent makes it hard to incorporate new activities into your routine especially if you're already struggling with anxiety so I think if you can control yourself around wine then it should be fine and I think it's better if you don't give yourself too much grief for it so you don't end up making yourself feel guilty and subsequently feeding a more vicious and harmful cycle.
  14. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    The exercise would definitely help TripleD123. When you are so stressed out doesn't it negatively impact on the children? Don't you find you have a short fuse with then? Sometimes when I am stressed out in the way you mentioned, it tends to spill over into the interactions with people close to me.

    When I was in better control of my life, I found a Zumba workout on YouTube that really helped me. Maybe you should consider something like that where you don't have to be away from the kids. I need to get going again myself as it definitely made a difference for me. I see my husband doing the wine and alcohol thing to relax himself after a stressful day. While it's not the same as going out to a bar, I still have my concerns.

    I hope things improve and the one glass of wine might not be a problem for now. I am sure you will monitor it.
  15. Clairelouise84

    Clairelouise84 Senior Contributor

    I had the same thing, the only thing that could possibly calm me down was alcohol, and I always told myself that I had a hard day so I deserved to relax a little bit. I was steaming "relaxed" after a couple of hours after getting home every night. Try walking, it might sound stupid but getting outside on your own or with the kids will be a literal and figurative breath of fresh air.
  16. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I agree that taking a long hot shower or bath is a great way to take the stress away. I am a high stress and anxiety person too and you just have to find someway to unwind that does not involve alcohol every day. It is ok to have your wine a couple days a week, but it should not be an everyday thing. One thing that helps me is to go do a little shopping at least once a week after work. It gives me time to unwind before I have to go home and deal with the kids.
  17. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    I think it could be more the ritual of stopping yourself, taking wine and pausing enough to drink and enjoy it that brings the calm -- a psychological well-being wiring, in a way -- rather than the wine itself? Before it becomes a complete crutch, you should look into different ways -- even if it's just varying, like making yourself a scale of 1 to 10, and depending on the level, doing some meditation or yoga or exercise, eating chocolate, screaming at your toilet, and only drinking wine at 10?
  18. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    I vote for this method. I like to get a quick workout and take a long hot shower to relax.
  19. TripleD123

    TripleD123 Community Champion

    I do appreciate all of the advice. I know the exercise tips would be helpful. I just need to figure out how to fit everything in my day. My kids are always my main priority but unfortunately work eats up the majority of my day. Hopefully I can find some balance and make it all work and fit.
  20. rightct

    rightct Community Champion

    It's a natural urge. When we feel stress, we usually want to either get rid of it or at least mask it with something, and some people chew on gum, eat sunflower seeds, smoke or, like you, drink alcohol. The latter isn't quite recommended, and I recommend you quit because it can do you only harm.