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Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by gracer, May 29, 2015.

  1. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    I was supposed to put "second chances" as the title but I thought "what about 3rd chances, the 4th, 5th and many more chances?" Doesn't everyone deserve chances? Addict or not, we all deserve the chance to change and be forgiven for our wrongdoings. As long as we ask and seek for forgiveness and change, we deserve another chance.

    An addicted person, no matter how many times he/she falls should be given the many chances to try and try until he/she succeeds in recovering. No mockery, no judgement, just unlimited chances. That's all they can hold on to. If we don't give them that, where can they turn to? How can they push themselves up when we block their way by not giving them any chance? Let's give them that long and sturdy rope of "chance" and pull them up with our strong hands of "hope". When they're finally up from the lowly path of addiction, let's welcome them into their brand new world of sobriety.
    KaseyHopeMartin likes this.
  2. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    Yes, no matter how many times an addict is trying out to gain sobriety back. Relapse may happen every now and then, but there will always be a new chance to starting over again and eventually succeed in the attempt.

    However it's necessary raise awareness, break with stereotypes and other garbage that addicted people collect and made them believe there won't be a way to stay sober.

    There is a way and there are much chances to achieve it indeed!
    gracer likes this.
  3. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Overcoming an addiction is not easy. Some cigarette smokers attempt to give up smoking every month. After a few days they stumble and fall, dust themselves up and give it another shot. They keep trying until they find the method which works for them.

    Should an addict relapse, no matter how many times that happens you can never give up on them because should the person they count on for support lose faith in them then they too will lose faith in themselves. As long as the addict is trying to quit get clean, offer your support.
    gracer likes this.
  4. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Very true. No matter what happens, if you truly love and care about that person, never give up on him/her. Once they have seen how sincere you are about trying so hard to help them, I think they will be able to realize that and they would eventually make a firm decision about quitting for good.
    gracer likes this.
  5. medievalmama

    medievalmama Community Listener Community Listener

    Great topic. Perhaps a corollary to that is to allow people to grow and change. I've known people (in recovery and 'regular' people) who I thought were rude, mean, egotistical, etc. I had my opinion of them, and I was sticking to it. But I've had to change my opinion more than once. By allowing (and recognizing) others' growth, I also give myself permission to grow and change and become a better person.
    gracer likes this.
  6. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    This is so true! Addicted people need someone to lean on to especially in times when they experience relapse on their road to recovery. They need someone to encourage them and tell them that it's alright to fall as long as you manage to stand up and push through. Encouragement is a very important thing in overcoming addiction. Let's never give up on our addicted loved ones or friends.
  7. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    So true - I would hate to be attempting recovery for the second (or third, or fourth, or however many) time, and not feel like I had support because I'd been offered a first and only chance once. I feel like any time someone is taking steps in the right direction then they deserve that chance at success and deserve support. We're all only human, and if we were always perfect then none of us would have personal struggles, worries, or stress. The fact is all of us struggle -- and it may not necessarily be addiction based -- but it's always important to know that there are people cheering you on and wanting the best for you when you are struggling through something in life.
    gracer likes this.
  8. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    I agree that every addict should be given a chance, but how can you tell if the addict is already a hopeless case or not, right? Maybe by the 100th relapse? But for those who managed to be clean and drug-free in 10 to 20 chances, then good job, and I hope they won't relapse ever again.
    gracer likes this.
  9. AFKATafcar

    AFKATafcar Community Champion

    I don't know about giving unlimited chances, but addicts absolutely deserve more chances than a non-addict receives with other matters. They're pre-disposed to making mistakes because they're under the influence of one substance or another, which can affect every facet of their lives. Therefore, they do deserve as many chances as we're willing to give them, which should absolutely be as many chances as they need, but there is a limit, depending upon individual circumstances and actions.
    gracer likes this.
  10. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    I am the eternal optimistic especially when it comes to people dealing with addictions or any other troubling situation. I get that some people may appear hopeless and in fact some may be. Yet I say give them not one, not two, not three chances; give them as many as you can. Maybe, just maybe you might be able to save a life.
    gracer likes this.
  11. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Yes. This is really the whole thing of the matter itself. People judge other people based on general thoughts that society makes like a norm towards people who are or become addicted to drugs. One more acceptable than another when basically they are all the same. No different.
    The individual judges themselves just as harshly on the inside. It is the harsh judgement from others and what one does to themselves that perpetuates the actual addiction in a sense. So as many times as needed, of course, whatever is needed. "lowly path of addiction." as you say. It is not necessarily a low path, it just is what it is. Sometimes those who travel the lowest path or what is viewed by society as the lowest, can end up on an even higher path than those who live their lives on whatever the straight and narrow path is. It's all in the eye of the beholder. Isn't it?
    gracer likes this.
  12. Vinaya

    Vinaya Community Champion

    Whether it is about a relationship,an individual with mental issues or an addict, everyone needs second chance or third chance for that matter. But never hope about fourth or fifth change. That's too much. One thing that you need to remember is life gives you only one chance.
    gracer and KaseyHopeMartin like this.
  13. There's really two sides to the chances coin, such as there are two types of addicts.

    The addicts who want to change, and are very remorseful for whatever it is that they have done and the fact that they need yet another chance, and the addict who uses those around them who are willing to give them chance after chance to keep a string attached to someone who might be useful for them.

    I am all for second chances, and even third chances. Hell, I'll throw in a fourth for free. But I myself have had someone who I considered family, someone who my family gave many chances to take advantage and use that against us. Once she was finally off drugs (after 5 years of trying to help her get clean), we took her into our home. Her and her son. She came in, she damaged our property, she stole from us (she took several things of high value, and even some things that she knew were of extreme sentimental value and sold them), she lied to us, cheated us and took complete advantage of us. And this was after she was off of Meth.

    So... countless and endless chances? Not a chance. But chances, yes. Absolutely. But there has to be a line drawn somewhere. It depends on the situation and the people involved.
    gracer likes this.