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chasing the dragon

Discussion in 'Cocaine' started by weirdcatlady, Dec 17, 2014.

  1. weirdcatlady

    weirdcatlady Member

    I've been shooting coke for 5 years now... I used to be really really bad... I'd shoot an 8ball a day and be itching for more... I checked into rehab but because cocaine is "not physically addictive" there was not much help offered. Through support from friends and threats from family i managed to cut down significantly but I still can't stop, because the truth is I Dont want to. Its like a minute of escaping real life. Though only a minute I look forward to it. I Dont like doing it but I need help trying to motivate...
  2. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I've heard that it only gets really addictive once you start shooting it up. I personally don't think there's much wrong in having a different substance other than alcohol to relax because to me the fact that alcohol is legal doesn't really make it any more or less better than other substances just because the government deems it so. It's all just a matter of moderation and if you are struggling with it then it might be best to stay away or seek some help from psychological analysts to give yourself a better grasp on why you do the things you do or why you take things too far sometimes. It's not a magic switch that will get you off addiction but it helps you become more self aware so you have a better chance of controlling it.
    henry likes this.
  3. weirdcatlady

    weirdcatlady Member

    It sucks that there's a huge stigma attached to it as well so people see me as this lost soul and give me pity eyes ... But I love myself. I think I'm a really cool, caring, fun person. But people judge and think the worst of me all the time. When really they are.closet alcoholics, go to music festivals and take hallucinogens etc and that's OK cuz its not IV... Ya know?
  4. weirdcatlady

    weirdcatlady Member

    I never share needles, I know the proper safe way to use them etc... I'm not trying to advocate it- I do get depressed and paranoid but it largely also due to the fact that people are always talking about me behind my back when they have just as many if not more issues...
  5. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    Hi weirdcatlady. What interests you the most? What are your hobbies? What do you like doing? Perhaps if you can divert your attention to some tasks that you enjoy doing, perhaps you can get motivated to stop. I don't know but I am just talking based on what I saw with my brother-in-law who used to be a meth addict. He stopped to get clean for a job that he really loves. That was I guess over 10 years ago and he has been clean until now and happily working. The same thing goes for my uncle who was an alcoholic. He had been drinking since he was a teenager but managed to reduce his intake when he was in his 60's. We, in the family, think it was his way of coping with difficulties like he had a bad relationship with his family and being the sole breadwinner, he was stressed to earn more. After retirement, he stayed drunk for a while then when he got himself a small business he loves, started to have grandkids and stuck to an exercise routine (which he did even before but not on a regular basis), he just started to slow-down. Now he is sober all the time. He still drinks but manages to keep it moderate.
  6. weirdcatlady

    weirdcatlady Member

    I love my job which has helped me cut back a lot... What really bugs me right now is that I was really good at hiding this secret all these years and only now some of my friends are finding out and are totally freaked out because of the stigma attached to being an IV user... But its a little ironic that I'm ten times better than I used to be back then and nobody knew then... So people are treating me like I'm this sad hopeless person when really I've been fighting this for a long time... I have a lot of friends but I work in the service industry so I worn long hours, nights, weekends... So not a lot of time for hobbies...
  7. zombie4412

    zombie4412 Member

    I was more of a crack cocaine addict. Those who do not say that addiction to that drug is real has obviously never been an addict. I was introduced to it by my ex-husband, who ironically saved my life when it came to that drug. I was wanting to shoot it, and he wouldn't teach me how. He knew that I was so hooked that if I tried using the needle, I would never come back. I would be dead today if I had shot it up. I am clean now, but I take my recovery very seriously. I am currently renewing my commitment to my recovery, and voluntarily attending meetings and drug classes along with therapy to help me cope with life on life's terms.
    lynzyh28 and stariie like this.
  8. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    I was a coke addict too, althought to be fair, I never mainlined. I've been clean for 8 years now so it can certainly be done. What finally made me stop was the realization of how much money I had spent. It ran into thousands. That was probably my "lightbulb moment", when something finally snapped inside me and I decided it had to stop.
    stariie likes this.
  9. vegito12

    vegito12 Community Champion

    I think that, it is interesting that some people chase after this and can even spend their life doing it and don't realize what they are doing and how their life is changing. It can be relaxing for some people and the affect can be different for some people and may not even do anything to them and and recovery can be along process as well. A person, can also need motivation and also support so they can even do get away from this drug.
  10. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    I find it interesting that you say shooting coke in not physically addictive, thus not much rehab help out there. I did not realize there was such a debate out there on this subject. I hope you don't mind that I just started a thread asking others there opinion on whether coke is physically, psychologically addictive or both.

    If you are still reading this forum, I hope you come back and post again. I also hope you cleared up your confusion between not wanting to stop because you like it and wanting to stop because you do not like it! Although, this is a good place for you to come, it sounds like since you have now let the cat out of the bag, so to speak, you feel comfortable seeking support through therapy, too.
    lynzyh28 and stariie like this.
  11. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    Isn't this sense of greatness a typical thing of using coke, though? :p Just kidding.

    My boyfriend once met a heroin addict from Switzerland. He would never have guessed: the guy was complete normal, had a job, etc, etc, because it was not criminalized like in other countries and, without the stigma and the loss of everything if you get caught, it turns out that even if he was addicted, he was not at all the scary picture of addiction we see. I guess that without the stress, the misery and the bad circumstances, it's just not as hard on the system?
  12. henry

    henry Community Champion

    I never got into any drug that required a needle to use it. I've been afraid of needles my whole life, so I guess I'm lucky in that respect, because I don't know what type of addiction I might of had today. None of my friends used needles, so I guess that counts too.
  13. stariie

    stariie Community Champion

    One has to want to stop in order to be able to. Drugs are very seductive, and can lull one into a sense of well-being when just the opposite is true. Perhaps things are not bad enough for you now to quit. Quitting is a personal choice and ultimately can't be dictated to us through other people. When you are ready to quit, there is support out here for you.
  14. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    And that's a massive thing. People have to want to quit before they can even start thinking about doing it. If they try and do it half heartedly then they won't heft past the first hurdle.
    lynzyh28 likes this.
  15. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    Absolutely! Change has to come from within in order for it to be permanent. You can't change for other people, you can only ever do it for yourself.
  16. Rholm

    Rholm Member

    Hello Weirdcatlady, I understand what it's like trying to seek help but being turned away. It can be difficult, but there are always people willing to help online, and I am positive you can seek help elsewhere that will certainly provide you with the help you need. I'm sorry you've been having these issues. Understandably you don't want to quit, but please do understand that the Cocaine high only lasts for a short time, and you seem to be taking it as a way of self-medicating for other, underlying issues. You CAN seek help, and I am sure you can come out better for it. You don't need to take substances to be happy, you can do it.
  17. lynzyh28

    lynzyh28 Active Contributor

    There is no "controlling" it for an addict. That is the most insane thing I've heard. There are plenty of ways to relax than drugs or alcohol. Yoga, working out, meditation, ect. This person is putting needles in her to shoot cocaine. Cutting down is great and may work for a while but that demon can and will flare up and take over again without treatment. I will pray that you find what you need to stop all together.
  18. Sparkster

    Sparkster Community Champion

    I'm confused as to why this thread is titled "chasing the dragon"? Chasing the dragon is the named used to describe smoking Heroin on tin foil. The thing about cocaine is that once you've consumed too much of it in one day, it puts you on a downer and you can't get the high back no matter how much more you consume until you've had a break from it (I don't know if that applies to injecting it too). Once you reach that point you end up feeling miserable, you've spent all your money on coke and now you're depressed and skint - was it really worth it? If you then consume more cocaine, you're likely going to take a higher dose because you're not getting the high from it and that puts you at higher risk of overdosing.

    The health consequences of injecting cocaine are what you should really be concerned with. It only takes one bad batch and that it's, it could all be over. Additionally, it could only take one overdose. There's also risk of damage to your veins and it will constrict your arteries leading to bad circulation and a poor immune system. It can also cause circadian arrhythmia. This can adversely affect your internal organs and greatly increase the likelihood of having an aortic spasm (only 25% of people who have an aortic spasm survive). It can also lead to hypothermia which can kill within minutes. Many of these consequences may have no noticeable symptoms, except for the aortic spasm which is incredibly painful.