An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

Cigarettes are killing me

Discussion in 'Tobacco / Nicotine' started by LadyMiles, Oct 22, 2014.

  1. stariie

    stariie Community Champion

    Girlfriend, my response touched me too, lol (lol, in that I can laugh about certain things now, even though they are serious). When I was writing my response, I really started to "feel" it like, whew! somebody upstairs likes me because I keep being "saved" from certain situations, that crazy man chasing me being just one of them.

    Don't be too hard on yourself about the cigarettes, you don't need to beat yourself up. Getting beat up means that you're in an abusive relationship, and you don't need that from yourself.

    If I may continue on about my personal experience, I would just say to you that even though I have quit smoking, this time I did not quit on my own either. I was "forced" into it again because of yet another situation, a good situation this time, not something like the scary situation that I went through years ago.

    But, has my temptation to smoke left me altogether? No. I could be going along, enjoying my day, drinking good coffee, having good conversation with friends, not even thinking about cigarettes, and then what happens? I drive to a grocery store, park my car, open the door to get out, and what's laying on the ground right at my feet? A full cigarette that someone has dropped. Not a butt, not a half of a cigarette, but a full cigarette, looking plump, pristine and totally smoke-able.

    Or I'll go to the post office, and some gorgeous man driving a gorgeous car is leaning up against his car, and what's he doing? Smoking a cigarette. Well...
    LadyMiles likes this.
  2. Geinnam

    Geinnam Member

    In the past, I have quit smoking several times. I feel like I let myself and my family down every time I fail. A friend of mine read to me an article that cigarette companies are gradually adding more nicotine each year because so many of us are trying to quit. That made me furious! That fact also gave me power. The cards are stacked against a person trying to quit smoking. That being said, I refuse day by day, sometimes minute by minute to never again make big tobacco's profits more important than my health.
  3. stariie

    stariie Community Champion

    Yes, it's all about big tobacco profits, like you said. What good comes from cigarettes? What purpose do they serve? They are harmful in every way possible: health risks, financially draining the pocket by being sometimes 7 and 8 dollars a pack (in certain neighborhoods that I used to frequent, the "candy house" would sell 1 (one!) cigarette for 50 cents, and believe me, they sold like hotcakes).

    They make everything smell like smoke; clothes, people, your hair. They make your nails yellow, make you cough, make those around you cough, ashes everywhere. Fire hazard.

    Cigarettes have no purpose whatsoever other than being a money maker. Legal poison for profit.
  4. LadyMiles

    LadyMiles Active Contributor

    I don't understand why they don't just legalize Marijuana and make the money off taxes from that. I mean at least that way people aren't dying from smoking cigarettes that are packed with so many different chemicals that are hazardous to our health. I mean I am not one to smoke Marijuana but to me it just makes a lot more sense to legalize something that isn't so harmful and make illegal cigarettes that kill.
  5. LadyMiles

    LadyMiles Active Contributor

    I completely understand, they are EVERYWHERE. I think it would be much easier for me to quit if I wasn't around them all the time. I work from home so I can't blame those on the outside of my home, it is the smokers in my home, the idea of heading to the garage to relax and smoke a cigarette is just so enticing, almost impossible to resist. It's like an internal struggle as I absolutely hate cigarettes but I absolutely love them. So hard!!!! By the way, did you pick up that cigarette and smoke it? lol
    stariie likes this.
  6. stariie

    stariie Community Champion

    You asked me did I pick up the cigarette, but you didn't ask me if I picked up the gorgeous man:D!!
    But in answer to your question, did I pick up the cigarette and smoke it? No. But there was a time when I totally would have, not even because I was broke, no money, and having a nicotine fit, no I would have probably picked it up in order to avoid buying a whole pack. That's a thing with me, I hate buying packs of cigarettes. Hate it. Even when I was smoking and not trying to quit, I hated buying packs.

    When I was still smoking not too long ago, I would love for my friends to come over to my house, even if I was busy and really should not stop what I was doing to visit with them, I'd stop everything because I knew they had cigarettes. That meant I could smoke one or two (or 5 or 6) of their cigarettes without having to buy a pack.

    I totally understand what you mean about going to the garage to smoke a cigarette. I have a garage at the place I live, but I have never smoked on the property because the owner does not like it (that's the incentive I had to quit).
    But, at a job I just left not too long ago, the boss and I used to go to her garage almost every day and smoke. It was a daycare that she ran out of her home, and when we put the kids down for their naps, we'd head out to the garage and light up.

    During nap time for the kids, a daily trek to the garage was something we looked forward to. There were steps leading down into the garage, so it was like leaving work and going next door to a club or something.

    We'd smoke, and afterwards I'd go home, because I was only working part-time in the morning.
    She'd go back inside and take a shower so that she could go back to work smelling fresh when the kids woke up.

    I loved doing that, just chillin' and smoking. So seductive, so laid back, that smoke wafting everywhere...

    We couldn't have the garage door all the way up lest one of the parents pull up in the driveway, but we'd have the garage door up just a bit to let air in and the smoke out.

    She had a couple of couches in her garage, a card table, a mini-fridge full of all kinds of refreshments. So chill. She smoked these really thin, long Capri's. A "nice" change from my Newports.
    We'd smoke, gossip, laugh, complain about men, make plans to hang out later, all kinds of stuff.

    Hang in there, you can quit smoking. Other people have, and so can you;).
    LadyMiles likes this.
  7. XiaoDre

    XiaoDre Active Contributor

    I wish that I could stop smoking cigarettes for good. I always get to a point in my life when I quit smoking them for awhile and then I always go back to them. I am always around them at home, at work, or when I go out to parties. The main time I crave cigarettes is when I am drinking alcohol for some reason. Hopefully the next time I get tired of them and quit, I will leave them alone for good.
    stariie and LadyMiles like this.
  8. Zyni

    Zyni Community Champion

    I like your post, Onionman. It's true that changing your structure is important. That really helped me quit when I did. I smoke again now, but would like to quit again. It's a lot more difficult for me with my partner sitting there smoking. It only worked when we both quit, but I've got to try again.
    LadyMiles likes this.
  9. karmaskeeper

    karmaskeeper Community Champion

    I wish I could put cigarettes down too. I totally understand how you feel. When I wake in the morning I reach for a smoke. I am a slave to smoking my health is shot because of cigarettes. I'm short of breathe, and can barely pick up anything and carry it that weighs more then 10 pounds. My kids hate it also, I've tried to stop before totally didn't work. I fear I'm hooked for life.
    LadyMiles likes this.
  10. LadyMiles

    LadyMiles Active Contributor

    First, I didn't ask if you picked up the gorgeous man, so now you have me wondering, did you, or at least try. :) About not picking up the cigarette, that was positive. About buying packs, I hate it too, especially the cost of these killers. In NY they were like $10 a pack so I really hated it out there but since moving to NV I have found that they are only $5 and some change. I really wonder if that has something to do with me starting back up because I was NOT smoking when I came to NV.
    Your situation with smoking in the garage of your former employer sounds very similar to mine. I love hanging out in the garage and kicking it with my bestie, son, fiance, and whomever else joins us. It is definitely going to take a lot for me to refrain from heading out there.
    I also want to say thanks for the positive encouragement about quitting. I really know I can do it. I have done it before. Just this time I need to ensure it is forever.
    stariie likes this.
  11. LadyMiles

    LadyMiles Active Contributor

    Same thing with me, I quit for a bit then light one back up and I am hooked again. I also find that alcohol brings on these cravings. I don't drink often but when I do it seems so natural to light a cigarette. I really wonder why that is. What methods have you used in the past to quit? I have tried the patch (didn't work as it made me really anxious), tried cold turkey (which worked one time for 2 years), and I have tried vaping (worked for a couple of months and I was right back smoking). I need to find a way that will help me kick it forever. Maybe cold turkey again but then stay away and don't chance smoking just one because it never ends up that way.
  12. LadyMiles

    LadyMiles Active Contributor

    It is definitely a horrible feeling. My children also hate it and I actually keep it from my youngest because she really gets angry. I also hate the fact that my son (20 years old) has picked up the habit. I feel as though it is my fault because he grew up seeing me smoking. My oldest (22 years old) is totally against it, she preaches to me about it but accepts the fact that I am grown. They just hate the fact that it really is impacting my future and theirs as they don't want to lose me any sooner than need be. What methods have you tried using?
  13. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    How old are your daughters? Imagine waking up in the morning to that strong, acrid, nauseating smell of cigarette. You walk into the living room and what do you find? Your hubby and daughters enjoying a light as they sip coffee casually? What would be your first reaction? For Heaven's sake quit that habit if you love your family if not yourself.
    LadyMiles likes this.
  14. Sprezza

    Sprezza Member

    I've read that it's best to quit when you’re in a good mood. Studies find that you’re less likely to be a successful quitter if you quit when you’re depressed or under a great deal of stress. I know you cannot force yourself into a good mood, but it's good to take into consideration.
    LadyMiles and stariie like this.
  15. stariie

    stariie Community Champion

    No Lady Miles, I didn't pick up the gorgeous man:):):(:(
    :)) for the gorgeous man, :( for not picking him up, lol).

    The cigarette on the ground thing happened again tonight:eek:. I went to Rite Aid get a few things. Pulled into a parking space, turned off my car, opened my door to get out, and there on the ground was a full half-of-cigarette. The grind is continuouso_O.

    $10.00 for a pack of cigarettes?? That's 3 gallons of gas!! And something else that I don't like, store A will have a pack for 5 dollars, but store B two doors down will sell the same pack for $6.50. It's like, what's really going on??

    After moving to a certain neighborhood (I moved away from there years ago), and discovering they had "candy houses" that sold single cigarettes, that ruined me for buying a whole pack. Usually I don't want a whole pack. I usually want only 3 or 4 singles because if I have a whole pack, it's like that Lay's potato chip commercial, "betcha can't eat just one."

    I understand your "chillin' in the garage" dilemma. When smoking becomes social and what you do on a "break", it becomes even more seductive, and even "sexy". But it's all an illusion.

    You'll quit when you're really ready;). Like you said, you've done it before, so you know it's doable.
    LadyMiles likes this.
  16. stariie

    stariie Community Champion

    This was certainly true for me. I remember a point in my life where I was smoking, smoking, smoking.
    During this time I met a man, a fitness buff. We became friends and his presence in my life made me very happy.

    One day we were having a long conversation about basketball, relaxing, enjoying the day. I enjoyed our conversation so much, and the whole day made me so happy that I stopped smoking that day, and although I didn't quit for good, just being happy about things helped me to quit for almost a year.
    LadyMiles likes this.
  17. stariie

    stariie Community Champion

    I feel your pain;). Alcohol and cigarettes seem to compliment each other so well, it's all a part of relaxing and enjoying down time. You can quit though, and you can leave them alone for good. It's a grind:mad:, it will be a challenge, but you can do it, just have to take it one day at a time.
    LadyMiles likes this.
  18. jade870

    jade870 Active Contributor

    Yes truth be known this is my number one problem, I've tried to quit smoking for many years. No matter what a try a hour how determined I tell myself I am within the third week of may quitting a pick up a cigarette. This is vexing problem for me, due to my health and my heart complications, smoking is not improving my health by any means. I have tried going to small groups here in our local community about smoking. And it does help for little while, but then when I get stressed out, I don't know why it seems like I go into a fit if I cannot have a cigarette. I have also tried praying about it thinking that might also help to smoking like nothing ever happened. So I think sooner or later, this problem if I don't get a handle on it in the end it will kill me.
    LadyMiles likes this.
  19. LadyMiles

    LadyMiles Active Contributor

    Funny thing you should mention waking up to that smell. Two things about it, first, I do not smoke in my daughters presence or within the house. I respect that it is my choice to smoke and I shouldn't allow that second hand smoke to affect my daughter. By the way, she is 16. My oldest is hardly ever home as she is 22.

    Second, I remember that smell so clearly from when I was a child. I had a really rough and abusive childhood so I have pushed a lot of my memories into the back of my head, but that smell is remembered so clearly. Actually, I was just talking to my fiance and best friend the other night and we spoke of that smell and how I remember it meaning everything was OK. If it was smelled first thing in the morning my mother (whom dealt most of the physical abuse) was in a good mood and I could probably make it out the door to school that day without being one way or another abused. As we spoke of this I started thinking, what if that is one of the reasons I struggle with quitting because I still view cigarettes as a comforter. Maybe I need to find comfort in something else. We just had this conversation within the last 2 days so I have been thinking about it a lot. Trying to figure out something to replace that cigarettes but still obtain that comforting feeling.

    To answer you question, if I walked in and caught my hubby and daughters smoking, I would be disappointed. Especially being they are so against it and see my struggle with removing it completely from my life.

    Thanks for the response. :)
  20. LadyMiles

    LadyMiles Active Contributor

    I can actually see where this would make a lot of sense as I seem to turn to cigarettes when I am going through something. I recently tried a quit and my Aunt passed that morning I was to start, that didn't go over very well. I just know that regardless, I am serious about finding a way to let this nasty habit go. I try to check back in here as often as possible because many have shared their stories and I am slowly putting together a plan to remain quit this time, for good. From you I will keep in thought to plan something happy, something that will keep me positive. I do appreciate your response :)