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Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Shay745, Jul 6, 2019.

  1. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Spam fighting Moderator & Realist Community Listener

    Cool right on brother. Yes she is my little Hellion we named her Khaleesi from Game of thrones. she's a queen alright lol we've had her since a pup and she is 1.5 years right now.
    She is starting to calm down a little but man she is either sleeping or barking at le to play lol.

    You got one?
    cheffy likes this.
  2. cheffy

    cheffy Community Champion

    Black Labs are the best. We have one but she's getting old. She also has some odd affliction that requires an injection each month. We do the actual injecting to save some money, but it's still ~$160.00 per month. I hear what you say about being energetic. Those first couple of years were a lot do deal with. Plus she used to chew everything. Recently she grabbed a pound of ground beef off of our kitchen counter and basically inhaled it. But she's still worth it - the best dog I've ever owned. Definitely has a mind of her own.
    Onceaddicted77 likes this.
  3. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Spam fighting Moderator & Realist Community Listener

    Dang ouch that's pricey, the things we do for our pets. They are really more like children though huh. We got our lab after we lost our last furbaby 2 years ago it was ruff we had her for 15 years. I cried like a baby for days.

    Yes man they are some crazy chewers I'll buy her one of those big antler wood stick toys and she will chew that thing down in a few days and it's for moderate opps I meant concentrated chewers lol That thing is like 20 bucks
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2019
    cheffy likes this.
  4. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Spam fighting Moderator & Realist Community Listener

    They are wonderful little creatures so smart and man do they have manipulation down. She will come lay her head on my leg and make her ears all perfect and just look at you with those puppy dog eyes when she wants something. Funny personality.

    Man I catch her on the cabinet all the time she will snatch anything close enough to the edge she dont even care if its food she is eat first figure it out later lol
    cheffy and True concern like this.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @cheffy... Have you ever tried cutting back even slightly on the Benadryl? Probably a dumb question, but I'm just curious. Just wondering if you could wean yourself off of it ever so slowly.
    True concern and cheffy like this.
  6. cheffy

    cheffy Community Champion

    I have done some tapering in the past. I initially went up to around 50 25mg tabs but it was causing me to pass out and become unresponsive, which meant another trip to the ER with my wife each time. So I decided 50/day was too much and dropped one pill each day, stopping at about 28-30 which is where I am today. So I know it can be done. My biggest fear from weaning off the Benadryl though is that I would have to be able to handle each day without it. I.e., I would have to face the extreme anxiety and depression again which I just can't do battle with right now. I've seen therapists and tried all the normal stuff so I would need a pretty strong incentive to wean off of it. Right now my music is suffering because I simply can't play most of the day when I'm on the Benadryl. So that's kind of a big incentive for me and has had me thinking of quitting altogether by weaning off, but it's just not happening. I think to myself about how bad those feelings I would have to face are, particularly how bad that horrible feeling of dread you get from depression would be. When you're feeling like that, every time your mind turns a corner, you find a whole bunch of new bad feelings bouncing around in there and it's completely overwhelming. I've tried just about everything but the depression just continues on. The Seroquel I take doesn't really do a lot, but it does have the capability to kind of knock me out so it works OK in that manner. The ECTs work OK but are a short term fix. Otherwise I just continue taking my current things and have found ways to deal with any problems I've had from it so far. One thing I need to say though is that I'm in such a better state than when I was on alcohol and/or oxycodone. That was bad.
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  7. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Spam fighting Moderator & Realist Community Listener

    That's what matters your doing better. I hope your able to get to where you want to be one day and play music again. Depression is cruel and unfair. I got faith you can on your time we can do anything we put our mind too.
    cheffy, deanokat and True concern like this.
  8. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    @cheffy I can absolutely relate to your fears and on a personal level your last sentence,my friend I'm not one to preach,not one to judge but there is a greatness inside you I believe can shine through, through all the saddness, depression, anxiety. I know we each have our own reasons for the things we do, I can only assume perhaps you have seen or know of some things us civilians do not and maybe some of it's extremely heavy,however that's purely an assumption which in all honesty I don't care about but I do care about you.You have read my recent struggles but they are very public and very detailed here for about 2 and a half years but I have finally made it my friend,10 days opiate free today,no more alcohol,no more cigarettes.Because I care about you my friend I am hopeful you can find a way to taper very slowly.For anxiety I just found out Gabapentin helps me for anxiety better than Xanax better than valium,better than klonopin and they put me to sleep better than anything I've ever touched,I'm not sure why but they do and they are much safer so if you haven't tried that medicine it may be worth trying.
    STAY STRONG MY FRIEND AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY
    cheffy, deanokat and Onceaddicted77 like this.
  9. cheffy

    cheffy Community Champion

    And not a dumb question! A very good question because it brings me back a little closer to reality and what we're all trying to do here. I'm grateful and fortunate to have someone that cares enough to ask the question as you have. :)
    Onceaddicted77 and deanokat like this.
  10. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Thanks, @cheffy. I wish I had a magic wand that I could use to cure everyone here. I just want everyone to be healthy, happy, and rid of their addictions. Thanks for answering the question, my friend.
    cheffy and Onceaddicted77 like this.
  11. cheffy

    cheffy Community Champion

    You know, I've used music a lot over the years as a 'supplement' anti-depressive. It really is good therapy (as long as you stay away from the minor chords:) ). Keeps your mind occupied.
    deanokat and Onceaddicted77 like this.
  12. cheffy

    cheffy Community Champion

    Thanks - that's a good way to put it. I have to say that I'm always looking for a way to shine as I think that makes a huge difference for us. If you're trying to shine then you know there's hope. And if there's hope then you can get through just about anything, But when the hope goes away you pretty much die, for all intents and purpose. There was a time where I wanted to die, just to make the depression go away. But right now I don't want to be dead. Hopefully there will be a continuous a ray of sunshine for all of us to latch onto whenever we start to go down. That's what I hope at least.

    And 10 days of freedom for you is just great! 10 days!
  13. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Most of the people who communicate here have long substance abuse issues but we are stronger than we often give ourselves credit for because we are all still very much in the fight
  14. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    very true. you ARE strong indeed! courageous!
  15. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Music is a healing force. No doubt about it. Both playing it and listening to it can make such a difference.
  16. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Spam fighting Moderator & Realist Community Listener

    I'm starting to look at like this life after drugs and during withdrawl.

    1st. Your brain tells you your chemicals are out of whack.
    2nd Your body tells you something ain't right.
    3rd Your mind says hey I know how to fix that.
    4th Your spirit says no you know where that leads.

    We addicts have alot against us. Our inner battle in a nutshell lol
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2019
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  17. cheffy

    cheffy Community Champion

    [We addicts have a lot against us] ...Including and most importantly, ourselves.
  18. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Spam fighting Moderator & Realist Community Listener

    We are our own worst enemy brother. I know we have all heard that a million times but it's so true.
    cheffy, deanokat and True concern like this.
  19. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I want to say to a brother who has been missing on the site for roughly a week.Get better soon brother,get those seizures under control and take it easy, I miss you, I care about you and yes I love you as a friend, brother,supporter,and someone who keeps it real.You are in my prayers and thoughts.

    STAY STRONG MY FRIEND AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY
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  20. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Spam fighting Moderator & Realist Community Listener

    It has been proven music does indeed increase dopamine. It can turn my whole day around. Really good antidepressant.

    I havnt got goosebumps from music in 10 years. I forgot you can actually feel music. Now they wont stop! :)
    cheffy, True concern and deanokat like this.