An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

Coaxed suicide alcohol and drugs

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by greybird29, Sep 18, 2015.

  1. greybird29

    greybird29 Active Contributor

    Well gang I was awoke around 4am to my daughter screaming and crying hysterically; one of her friends had just shot his self. His so called girl friend was on the phone with him at the time and begged him to go ahead a do it she wanted to hear the shotgun blast before she went to sleep!! I just cannot believe anyone could be that crewel.
    They were out all night drinking and doing a variety of drugs including heroin and something called “spice”. My daughter is just devastated. He was one of her best friends she had been talking with him the past few months trying to help him seek help and to stop using. He had supposedly been clean for over a week. I guess last night he hooked up with some buddies and the girly they had used most of the night and he was dropped off at home. The girl called him and text him for hours telling him he might just as well kill his self or she would never love him. My daughter has been clean almost a year and she has lost so many “friends” since then to overdose and suicide it is shocking.
    I do not really know what to say to help her Lord knows I have tried to find some words. I cannot tell her he will be okay because he won’t; he is dead. I try to explain that is in no way her fault yet she believes had she heard and answered her phone at 3am she could have talked him out of it.
    She is so very angry at the girly who literally talked him into it… It is so heartbreaking to see her hurting so bad. Honestly I believe somehow charges of some sort should be brought against the girl but who knows if that is even possible. Thanks for listening/reading.
  2. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    There is a well publicized case around this very thing. I think the only thing you can do is tell your daughter she is not responsible and she did all she could do. It is so sad that something like this happened. Your daughter will hurt for a long time, and there is no easy fix for this..but just re iterate she had no responsibility for this and no way she could have seen this coming. Your daughter was nothing but a help in this situation and she should know that.
  3. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    It sounds like this guy had a really sick girlfriend. This is a really sad story, I hope your daughter doesn't become too depressed about this she gave her support and was a good friend. Mixing all those drugs could have any kind of effect. This is why people should be careful who they hang with and what they consume. Even those synthetic drugs are known to make people do crazy things.
    greybird29 likes this.
  4. LinB

    LinB Senior Contributor

    It is so very sad that something of that nature could happen. Suicide has crossed my mind before, but I have always resolved that it would not solve the problem because it would be taking me into unknown territory. I am sorry that your daughter has to be going through this, and my only hope is that you can stand by her as she goes through.
  5. greybird29

    greybird29 Active Contributor

    I thank each of you for your kind words; this has proved to be a trying day indeed. My daughter is devastated that her best friend is dead and there is just not one dang thing she can do about it. She remains furious at the young lady whom said she loved him; yet coaxed him to die.
    It is my firm belief that if the drugs were not evolved he could still be alive. My heart thoughts and prayers are with this family tonight; they lost their only son, they/ it is so very sad indeed. Due to the many text and phone calls that the girly made in his last few hours of life it is clear to parents that she absolutely convinced him to go through with his death. They very well may pursue charges against her once the funeral is over.
    Honesty I do not believe they will not find any comfort or closer doing that; yet I know I would try to do everything in my legal power to make sure she would be prosecuted to the fullest extent possible.
    Tonight my daughter is out and about with her “friends” seeking comfort for her hurt. I pray that she will not fall from sobriety and indulge with them to try and forget his death. Thank you all for the support.
  6. Jasmine2015

    Jasmine2015 Community Champion

    This is one of those things I can't believe truly happens. Why coax someone to kill themselves? You must have a cold heart. It sounds like the girlfriend wanted to see how far she could push him and how devoted he was to her, even if it meant death! Tell your daughter she must forgive herself it was not her fault.
  7. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    First off so sorry for your daughter's loss and for this young man's parents. What a sad and tragic story. His so called girl was a heartless b***h who deserves to have charges brought against her. She needs to be held responsible for her part in his death. She is a sick individual. I will keep your daughter in my prayers. My daughter has lost a few Friends to suicide and it is hard to watch them having to deal with such a loss and so many unanswered questions.
    greybird29 likes this.
  8. greybird29

    greybird29 Active Contributor

    After a long night of worrying about her my daughter came home about 4 am safe and seemed sober. They had a bon fire and shared stories of their deceased friend mourning his choice to leave this world.
    They are making plans to have a benefit for him as he had no insurance and his family does not have much money for the funeral. She in now on a mission and has set her mind on this putting a lot of thought energy and effort into it; I am very proud of her. I hope and pray this can be a wakeup call for these young folks and give them the desire to stop using.
    The parents have turned the young man’s cell phone over to the authorities with hope that it will prove the girl had a role in his death.
  9. Jasmine2015

    Jasmine2015 Community Champion

    Turning the phone in was a good idea. I hope the girlfriend does get charged with something. She may not have touched the victim physically but then she deliberately didn't do anything about it either.
    greybird29 likes this.
  10. Meds

    Meds Active Contributor

    It's not your daughter's faults, and I hope she understands on deck steps that. That was a very bad decision of your daughter's friend, who did not seem to be thinking of the trauma this incident would cost on others. It's irreversible and all we can do now is hope for the best. All I can offer your daughter is prayer.
    greybird29 likes this.
  11. Meds

    Meds Active Contributor

    We have some very insane people in life, and that girlfriend is one of them. I know she will pay for what she has done, in the long run. More than that though, I hope she will learn from what she has done.
    Jasmine2015 and greybird29 like this.
  12. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    That is really horrible. Probably the boyfriend and the girlfriend behaved that way because they were both under the influence of drugs. And we all know that these substances would totally impair someone's way of thinking. But yeah, it was still a tragic incident.

    I don't think it was your daughter's fault anyway. I guess the real problem was between that couple.
    greybird29 likes this.
  13. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    I hope that crazy b*itch who pushed him into that has been charged. I'm sure in most states doing what she did was a crime. I truly hope she gets what she deserves, what an awful human being. As for your daughter, I am glad she is doing fine, but it is so sad she lost one of her best friends to that :( Poor girl, real good friends are so hard to find nowadays and losing them to something that could have been prevented is just so frustrating and sad.
    greybird29 likes this.
  14. JonnyMacdonald

    JonnyMacdonald Community Champion

    Wow that's terrible I am so sorry for you and your daughter.
    I don't even know what to say, truly Satan's got into that young girl.
    God will deal with her in time, I will pray for you and your daughter to get though this and stay safe and sober.
    greybird29 likes this.
  15. anorexorcist

    anorexorcist Community Champion

    I'm really sorry to hear about this really sad an cruel situation... As you have said, in situations like this usually is really hard to find the right words to make the other person feel better, but sometimes there's no words to say. But I think that the best thing that you can do as a parent is let her know it wasn't her fault and that you support her and you will always be by her side, and if you can take her to a psychologist, do it, you have no idea how helpful and relieving that will be for her.
    greybird29 likes this.
  16. greybird29

    greybird29 Active Contributor

    Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and encouraging words; I am proud to be a member of this site! His parents have decided to have a private service for their son; with very few of his “friends” welcome. They knew my daughter was trying to encourage him to stop using and they respected her for that so she will be at the service. With his parents’ permission and through our church she has arranged a memorial spaghetti and meatball dinner (his favorite food) after the service. His friends will be welcome; except for the girly of course.
    I have spent a few hours on the phone with his Mother at this point the authority claims there is not much that can be done; there is law on the books for “coaxing suicide”. She is trying to put that thought on the back burner for now and concentrate on getting the arrangements made for the service and get through it. She vows to take her case to the Supreme Court against the girly if she has to. I know there is a high profile case in the news for a similar incident.
    The heartless Bit** girly is portraying the “poor grieving girlfriend” rejected by his family on her face book page; she is actually blaming his family and it makes me sick! It is not bad enough they lost their son yet knowing what she did to blame his family is disgusting indeed. Thank you all again.
  17. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Earlier in the year a girl who encouraged her "friend" to commit suicide was charged with manslaughter. While this will by no means be of much comfort to your daughter [since she has lost her friend] she should know that justice will be served.

    3 years back when a friend of mine killed himself and I blamed myself for not being there for him, it's time which healed the wounds.

    All this, too, shall pass. Help your daughter believe that. Let her embrace the sands of time. It shall pass.

    “Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that is how I will remember you all. ” – Laura Ingles Wilder
    greybird29 likes this.
  18. greybird29

    greybird29 Active Contributor

    The service is over the memorial Supper went well with many folks sharing memories and happy stories about the young man’s life. Laughter was had and tears were shed.
    Hopefully the healing process can begin; and only time will help to ease the pain for so many.
    His parents have a appointment with the DA on Thursday to discuss any charges they “MAY” be brought against the girly. Thank you all.
    Rainman likes this.
  19. kmars

    kmars Active Contributor

    Of course it's not your daughter's fault, but I can truly understand the weight of the burden that she is carrying now. She may even feel a little revenge on the inside towards her friends girlfriend. But do help her to channel that emotion into helping others who have suicidal tendencies.