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Cocaine and bipolar disorder

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Diego, Oct 29, 2017.

  1. Diego

    Diego Member

    Dear friends,
    i am a 35 year old man, I struggle with bipolar disorder and drug abuse.
    Pornography has also been one of my greatest and moat challenging addictions.
    Cocaine came into my life at an early age. Around 17 or 18 years old.
    When I discovered that cocaine enhanced my perception of pornography, cocaine took over and got out of control.
    I simply use cocaine to watch pornography. And I only do it during stages of full blown mania. I take psych meds and they help sometimes. But its like a light switch, when its turned on, I go on binges and spend a lot of money on cocaine. I used to be what they call a “functioning addict” but Im getting older in age and relapses are more frequent, more severe and harder to recover from.
    It interfeera with my life and makes my bipolar even worse.

    Anyone else experiences this? Pornography and cocaine hand in hand?
    Or even bipolar and cocaine?

    I hope someone can relate to my story and you can know that if this happens to you, its more common than you may think, as it weird as it may sound, and that you are not alone. Please share and comment freely. I need help! But I also want to help.
  2. Juliet

    Juliet Member

    Sad thing is, I see people replying all the stories but yours. Even funnier is that there Are peole like you all over but you're the only one admitting it.
    I give you kudos for writing it down and I hope that others admit their need and do the same. Life is hard enough but when things you do are "Taboo" people still act prudish still.
    Really people haven't we gotten way past it?
    Hugs and I hope you get thru and over your addictions.
    Diego and deanokat like this.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Diego... I'm sorry that I didn't see your post until just now. I'm sorry to hear about your problem with cocaine and pornography. I don't have any direct experience with a situation like yours, but I know that pornography can be just as addictive as drugs. My suggestion would be to seek out an addiction specialist to see if they can help you. They can do an assessment of your condition and recommend the best next steps. And what about talking to a therapist? Have you tried that? They may be able to help you, too.

    Using drugs like cocaine when your bipolar can cause some pretty bad reactions, as I'm sure you probably already know. I would definitely consider getting professional help.

    Sending you lots of hope and encouragement, my friend. And again, my apologies for the late reply. Sometimes it's not that easy to keep up with all the posts.
  4. Diego

    Diego Member

    Thank you for replying. No need to apologize.
    I have discussed my issues with pornography and cocaine with other people and therapists as well.
    You’d be surprised how many people use cocaine and watch pornography. Its more common that people think. In fact, I think they go hand in hand, as they both have a direct effect in the brain’s reward mechanism.
    Anyway... I have been doing better. Im cocaine free for almost 1 month. Feeling good. Staying positive. Thanks again for your input!
    You do a great social work through this page.
    deanokat likes this.
  5. Diego

    Diego Member

    Thank you for your reply!
    Its hard for some people to admit that pornography is something they struggle with. In my case, I watch pornography when Im high on cocaine. I normaly dont watch ang pornography when Im sober. This is why I recognize that pornography and cocaine go hand in hand- in my case. Im also bipolar, so a lot goes on in my head constantly. But over the years I have learned to identify patterns and behaviors that reoccur in cycles. Pornography and cocaine being one of them.
    I only wrote about my mental ilness and pornography because I hope that if there is anyone out there who struggles with one or the other, or both, they can relate and know that it is more common than they might think and that it doesn’t have to be “taboo”. On the contrary, it has to be addressed and talked about. The thing with addiction is that most people concenteate only on the use of the substance and its consequences, but often forget to dig down deeper into their emotions, traumas, and mental issues, which are the root and foundation of why they use substances in the first place IMO.

    Anyways, thank you for replying. I was kind of worried that no one else had, because maybe I had said something out of line.

    Blessing and happy thanksgiving to you!
    deanokat likes this.
  6. Hi Diego,

    I share both of these addictions and struggle with them as they manifest in my life. You're not alone Diego. Just keep trying to improve yourself everyday if what way makes you happy. The passing of time helps and so does being nice to others helps. Trying to help others. Trying to help others in a modest and earnest way, with no other motive or trickery other than doing it just to do it. Try helping other humans who share many of the the same pains that you do. You are not alone. Love is the only answer.

    Do you remember a blissful moment in your life before the pain crept in? Perhaps a memory as a child where you wore a carefree disposition. Maybe it lasted a week or 10 seconds. I believe it is our job to do what we can to cultivate that sense of well- being as often as possible.

    Hang in there!

    deanokat likes this.
  7. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Diego... How are you doing? If you get a chance, check in with us and let us know.

    Sending you positive vibes.
  8. Renee007

    Renee007 Member

    Hey hun sorry to hear your having a difficult time... i also have bipolar & occasionally dable in coke because also the meds can make everything too flat .. coke gives you that rush of mania we sometimes like .
    If your on meds for the mania coke will bring back but with a bigger comedown ..
    The comedown for a bipolar sufferer is extreme .
    I don’t go on benders because I know it’s the wrong thing to but I still do it in small amounts but regularly & wear permiscuous clothing & want to be centre of attention to wake up the next day feeling embarrassed & ashamed at my self which can send me into a hypomanic state .
    It’s difficult when your on a low knowing cocaine brings you up again. It’s exasabating the bipolar in theory .
    We must stop taking cocaine aspecialy with Bipolar...
    I wish you luck x
    deanokat likes this.